Nathan Orozco

Posted on by Thor

This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewee and is summarized from their own interview. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously.  

At the time of the Pulse shooting Nathan Orozco was 18 years old. To celebrate his birthday he and friends were doing a club a night.  He had been waiting years for the chance to step into a club. It was his first night going Pulse.

He was not familiar with the club. He got there about 11:30pm. The exits he saw were blocked off. There was the hip hop room, the main stage, and outside, and he spent most of his time outside.

Nathan isn’t exactly sure when the shooting started, but about 1am there
was one last call for alcohol. When two friends went in to the hip hop
room for their last drinks, he heard the first gun shots from outside. Everybody dropped to the floor.

When the shooting started he found his way to the employee hallway. There were so many people crushed into that one hallway. That is when he heard the AR-15. Had the shooter turned to shoot down that hallway he would have shot at least 150 people.

Once outside, Nathan had to break the fence and jump over to the mechanic shop next door. There was another guy who managed to punch through the white fence as well. Many people made it out though there. The shots got so close. From outside it was possible to tell where the shots were coming from, but in the club it was a lot harder to tell because of the echo. Nathan also had to jump over the mechanic shop fence to get across the street and get out. People were trampling each other. He did all this while carrying Ross, who was one of the dancers that night. Ross who is tiny, was wearing nothing but a jock strap. People were jumping over him. So Nathan carried him across the street. When Ross was safe, Nathan went back to find his friends who both survived.

Once outside, the police were already flooding the streets. Across the street was the 7-11 and a Einstein Beagles. Everyone was moved to the back of Einsteins Bagels. At that time an explosion went off in order to break through the wall of the club. After that, bullets were flying towards the survivors so they had to move them to the back of the neighborhood that was behind the 7-11. From there he waited it out. A bus came to pick everyone up and bring them to the police department where they gave their statements. It was a surreal experience.

He didn’t get to the police station until 8 am. That means that for about 7 hours he stood outside the club witnessing everything.  The cops were doing all that they could, but they should have moved survivors further back because bullets were still flying.

The next day at 2 am a friend texted and told him which friends had died. Nathan has a tattoo which depicts three birds to represent his friends, a skull in a tree, and the Pulse symbol. The tattoo continues to evolve. He watched one friend, who had been shot like 6 times, die right in front of him that night. His friend lay there for about 10 to 15 minutes and it seemed like an eternity before his body was loaded into an ambulance.

Nathan was grazed by one bullet which cracked two of his ribs.  The
doctor decided to let the ribs heal on their own. Nathan didn’t notice
the wound until a year after Pulse, when the rib pains started. He would
touch them and found the ribs to be soft like mashed potatoes. The doctor felt
they would harden in time. One friend he was standing right next to that
night passed away. They had been dancing together. As soon as everybody
dropped to the floor, he never saw that friend again. 

The Pulse survivors and their stories helped Nathan get through it all. No one knows what you are going through but the people who went through it with you. It is not hard to find yourself again when you are around the right people. He tries to avoid survivors who used the shooting to make a name for themselves. He only went to one Pride event in Boston where 23 survivors spoke about the need to curb gun violence. It is never easy. He still has flashbacks. Loud bangs can cause it all to flood back.

Watching all the police and military going in suited up to save peoples lives was inspiring. He decided to take a pre-Asvab test for the navy and he passed with an 86. Now he just needs to get his diploma so he can be in the navy. 

Make Amends with Your Friends

Posted on by Thor

This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewee and is summarized from their own interview. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously.  



Norman Casiano has always had the support and love of his parents. While he was still in the hospital he heard that some parents didn’t want to claim their children after the PULSE shooting. This is something he could not comprehend, his parents helped so much after everything happened.

His world changed completely on June 12, 2016. That evening was his send off, because he was about to start school as a make up artist. His parents dropped him off at the club, he got there early, about 11pm. No one was there, and he was going to leave, but then his friends started showing up. He had a falling out with Stanley Almodovar, but that night they made amends. Stanley said, “I’m glad we fixed things because you never know when your last day might be on earth.” Stanley was one of the 49 to die that night.

About 1:30 am Stanley gave Norman his credit card and said he was going to get his car and pull it up in front of the club. They were going to leave along with Marie, Stanley’s friend. Norman entered the middle room with all the mirrors and dancers. As he handed the card off to one of the bartenders, he and Marie heard the first two gun shots. He wasn’t immediately scared, it might be a fight between two people. He ducked under the bar and told Marie to stay. Then he heard the automatic assault weapon. Marie asked, “What is going on?” He did not know. This was not normal. The room they were in had two doors. As they tried to get up from under the bar there was a tsunami of people. He was trampled and stepped on. He fought his way to his feet, the adrenaline drove him forward. The whole time he heard people screaming and glass breaking. Chunks of cement flew through the air.

He needed to hide. The closest refuge was the bathrooms. He tried to make sense of the situation. He didn’t think the shooter would systematically try to kill everyone. Once in the bathroom stalls, it was packed. He was in the boy’s bathroom on the left hand side. There were only urinals and a private handicap stall. Maria ran into the stall and struggled to hide in the crowd. Norman froze, he didn’t want to hide under people. He didn’t want to survive thinking he had used someone else as a shield. He closed the stall door from inside. Everyone was trying to shush each other so as not to draw the shooters attention. A boy ran in and fell against the stall door blocking it closed from the outside. The boy had been shot in the middle of his back. He was screaming and trying to crawl under the stall door. “Please I don’t want to die!” he shouted. Norman reassured him as he tried to pull him inside.

The gun shots kept getting closer and closer. They stopped when the gunman entered their bathroom. It suddenly became clear that he was coldly and deliberately thinking about what he was doing. Norman went into a primal state of fear, he was just shaking but then went still. Even people who were hysterical grew still. The assault rifle jammed. People yelled, “Please don’t do this!” He tried to see the shooter but never got a view. The shooter wasn’t listening, instead he put more bullets in the weapon. Then the shooter laughed. He shot the boy on the floor. The ground shattered. Shrapnel punctured Normans shoe. He was wearing white from the waste down. His shoe turned red. He scooted back, less than an inch from the stall door. He knew what was coming. In a way he was ready. He thought of his mom, dad, and little brother.

As the gunman was getting ready to shoot, Norman called his parents. His mom shouted, “What is going on!” Norman was scared because the shooter was right there. He hung up once he heard the gun being cocked. Bullets punctured the stall door non stop. Norman was shot on his lower left hand side, near his hip. It felt like being branded. It felt hot. He called his parents again. He told his dad, “He shot me!” The phone died. The gunman was still in the bathroom getting ready to shoot again. He could not open the stall door, bodies blocked the door. He seemed to be frustrated. So he climbed up and shot down into the stall from above.  Norman looked up and saw the gun pointed directly at him. The first shot hit him on his lower back on his right side. Everything went black. When he woke, the shooter was no longer in the bathroom, having crossed to the bathroom across the hall. Norman stood straight up amazed that he was alive.

He started convincing others in the stall that they needed to get out. They yelled back, “If you want to die by yourself, you can die, we aren’t going out there!” He said, “If we don’t leave here, we are all going to die in here.” The gun kept firing. No one budged. Marie got shot 12 times. She could not get up. She said, “You have to go.” the stall door would not open. He climbed on the sink and pulled himself over the stall wall and dropped to the floor. Shots were fired into the bathroom again with cement hitting him. He realized he was shot from the waste down so his legs were not working. He tried to pull himself up. Even doctors now are not sure how he got himself out. In the corner of the bathroom was a plastic trash can which he hid behind, knowing it would not stop any bullets. He poked his head out and saw a first responder. That convinced him it was safe to come out. They shouted, “Victim or assailant?” He shouted back “Don’t shoot, I’m a victim.” “If you are a victim come out with your hands in the air.” He dropped to the floor and he crawled towards the emergency doors to the right. The door opened and he was dragged out.

He found himself behind a truck sweating, but that sweat was actually his blood and others blood. A woman survivor was with him, She asked him if he was hurt. Something didn’t feel right, his leg hurt. She lifted his shirt and gasped. She shouted out for an officer, “He ‘s hurt!” He suddenly felt an elephants worth of pain weigh on him. The woman and the officer lifted him up. He was one of the first shown on TV as he was carried towards Wendy’s. It felt like a war zone. Behind Wendy’s he sat with the woman. He noticed her phone. He asked her to call his mom. He apologized to his mom, thinking he was dying. She shouted back, “You are not saying good bye to me! Are you OK?” He didn’t want to tell her the truth. He lied, saying he was fine. The gunshots continued across the street. He said, “I love you.” and he passed the phone over to his guardian angel Rebekah. Rebekah was on vacation from Michigan and walked into this hell storm. His mom questioned Rebekah who started crying and she explained everything that was happening. She said simply that he was not OK. He could hear his mom yelling, “What is not OK? Tell me! Is he going to make it, where did he get hurt?” She told his mom about the lower back wound his mom lost it. A policeman came and told her to get off the phone.

Police put tags on those that were shot to see who needed to get put on an ambulance. Tag colors went from green to black. Green meant you were OK, while black meant you were dead. His color was red, which wasn’t good. He made peace with what was happening. He drifted off. Rebekah was looking down at him and saying, “Don’t go to sleep.” But it felt good to drift off. The ambulance arrived just in time. The bullet went straight through and now he was bleeding out. He flat lined. It was a soft feeling. He heard welcoming voices. He felt connected. Then he heard thunder and a loud NO! He gasped for air. The doctor was holding a defibrillator.

In the hospital, they cut off his brand new pants and started inspecting his wound. He was one of the first to arrive and they did not know if he was a victim or the assailant. A call came in that there was another shooter and that he made his way to the hospital. They were herded into a room and the doctors surrounded the patients and waited to find out if there was indeed another shooter in the hospital. An alarm went off. It felt like the end of the world. Victims were separated into different areas by curtains. As he waited they gave him morphine. He could hear the suffering of others. It didn’t seem real.

His parents had rushed to Pulse but they didn’t know he was alive. Police told them to go to the hospital. A chaplain was offering prayers and Norman begged him to let him call his parents. He pulled out a flip phone and called Norman’s mom. He looked guilty as he made the call. The chaplain introduced himself to her and she lost it, thinking it was THE call. Finally Norman got on and shouted to calm her down. He was sure he would die. With that much pain you turn into a 5 year old. A doctor gave him more medication and he drifted off.

At 11 am the next day he was reunited with his parents. They let him cope with his pain before they let him know about the bigger picture. At 3 am his parents were asleep and he turned on the TV to see the news for the first time. He wished he hadn’t. They were reading the list. Stanley’s name was on the list. He screamed, waking his parents. He did not understand. The numbers kept growing. Nothing made sense. FBI entered the room and separated him from his parents causing a fight. He was interviewed. He was in the hospital three nights and two days. FBI advised him not to talk to the media. At the door of ORMC there was a storm of cameras, media, and interviewers. Cameras followed their every move as they rushed out, he felt dizzy and tears welled up in his eyes. He was in a wheelchair, he could not get up and run. A reporter from Miami opened the door to his parents car and the first interview he did was from the back seat of the car.

In the months that followed, he got to meet president Barack Obama. He just remembered that the president was left handed and he cried on his shoulder. The interviews became unbearable. What he most remembers was the pain. Life would never be the same. Being thrown into the aftermath of Pulse he got to meet people who are caring. People donated clothes, food, and money. His positional hospital bed was donated to him because he could not sleep in a regular bed. His heart swelled and he wanted to become a voice of the survivors. The shooter did not win. Lives were lost and he lost friends but the silver lining is that the shooter did not do what he had planned, which was to instill hatred and fear. What happened was the complete opposite, there was compassion, love, and togetherness. The shooter’s hatred never left the club. What came out of it was that we stand stronger together. Make amends with your friends. You never know.

Terry DiCarlo

Posted on by Thor

 This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewees. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously. 

Terry DiCarlo had been in the HIV diagnosis business for over 30 years. He was the director at The Center at the time of the Pulse shooting. The Center is the largest tester for HIV in Florida. They do 500 to 600 tests a month for HIV.  Orlando is fifth in the nation for the most newly diagnosed cases. Just before the shooting Terry had been offered a Director’s position at AIDs Health Foundation (AHF) which is a Los Angeles based global nonprofit provider of HIV prevention services, testing, and
healthcare for HIV patients. AHF currently claims to provide medical
care and services to more than 1 million individuals in 43 countries
worldwide. He was offered twice the salary that he was making at the Center. His start date was to be August 1, 2016 and July 16th was going to be his last day at the center. All the paperwork was done. He was packing up his office and then June 12 happened, the day of the Pulse massacre. AHF pushed off his start date to September but by mid August he realized in his heart would not let him leave Orlando.

There were between 300 and 600 people working in the tiny space
inside the Center. It got hot in there in with the smoldering June heat.
Someone donated several large mobile air conditioners to help. With the back
doors always open taking in donations, the heat kept flowing in. On the third day after the shooting that took 49 lives, Terry decided he had to close the Center at 6pm. Had he kept the Center open 24 yours, the volunteers would have stayed for 24 hours. They had been working 12 to 14 your days for three days straight. They were ordered to go home and rest. Terry started turning off lights to shut the Center down.

At 5:45pm he got a call, letting him know that Florida Governor Rick Scott was planning to visit and wanted to enter by the back door so as not to draw attention. All the lights went back on. The governor banned all press and anyone in the Center would have to turn off their cell phones. Terry grew angry. His Orlando community had just been hurt, and this as their house. He called every news station and let them know that they had 5-10 minutes to get to the Center. The news trucks were all close by.

Three black SUVs pulled up behind the Center. The governor and his entourage entered via the back door and the press poured in the front door. The governor was shocked, but put on a plastic smile. Then Terry invited everyone in the Center to take out their cell phones of a photo op. This was supposed to be a private photo op for the governor since he had his personal photographer in tow. It was a chance for him to brag that he had been to the Center and the photo would imply that he cared. It was all self serving PR.

He never said the word LGBT. He never said “I’m sorry for what you are going through.” He looked at Bill, Terry’s husband, who had a tattoo and asked, “Did that hurt?” Bill responded, “Is that really all you have to say?” The governor shook Bills hand who wiped his hand off on his pants as the governor walked away. He seemed to have no idea what the Center was or why there were 600 people there. He asked nothing about all the donations or where they were going.

Down at Pulse, Marco Rubio showed up and started talking to the media about The danger of Islam, terrorists and hate. He was spewing false information. Terry shouted out that this wasn’t about hate and division. All the cameras turned towards him. He always spoke from the heart. He tended to stand on the side lines while Patty Sheehan, Mayor Buddy Dyer and Police Chief Mina walked to and from the Command Center for updates. Then while they stood talking to media Chief Mina signaled to Terry that he should join them to help relay information to the world. This would become his role in the months and years to follow. One New York Times reporter had Terry’s name on file with the initials GTG beside his name. That meant “go to gay.” Terry would always offer honest opinions when asked.

The Angel Action Wings were created at the Shakespeare Theater with the help of Jim Helsinger. They were donated to the Center after Terry explained that they would be respected and used at proper events to honor the 49 lives lost. No one ever sees the angels getting ready. When they appear at Pulse, the fire station down the street lets them get set up in the parking lot behind the station. When they appear at Lake Eola, a condo association across the street allows them to get ready in the ballroom. Bill created an 8 foot high PVC pole that held several white flags. This helps in letting people know that the angels are coming and it helps part the crowd. The angels were originally intended to protect against hate and now they have become a signal of hope and of love. People just come up to the angels and hug them.

In time, Terry had to step down from being the director at the Center, taking a communications director position instead. In the months after Pulse he was pulled in so many directions, that something had to give. He has talked to survivors who are going through a lot. For the first year, survivors were being flown around the world to Pride events and fundraisers. After one year that attention disappeared. They felt lost. One survivor, a nurse said she can not get a job. At interviews she holds back not wanting anyone to know she was at Pulse that night. She suspects she might be sabotaging herself.

The current administration is promoting hate and division and that trickles down. The love and unity we experienced is being torn apart. People seem unable to see through the smoke screen. We can not let people forget. Orlando stood as one, united in not letting hate win. Orlando reacted with love and the world saw that and stood beside us. For a few days, hate stood still.

On January 27, 2020, Terry DiCarlo died of Cancer at the age of 57.

Terry DiCarlo

Posted on by Thor

 This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewees. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously. 

Terry DiCarlo was the Executive Director of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Central Florida at the time of the Pulse Massacre. Before June 12, 2016, the Center had 3 employees, Terry, a clinical director and a bookkeeper. The Center acts as the hub of the Central Florida LBGTQ community. They offer free aids and STD tests to anyone who walks in.

On the evening before the shooting, Terry watched a movie at home with his husband and they went to bed. Usually Terry turns the ring tone off on his phone as he charges it overnight, but for some reason on this night he forgot. Around 2:15am the phones started to ring. Bill, his husband was the first to get up. Terry’s first thought was that somethings might be wrong with his 76 year old mother. Bill tossed his phone on the bed saying, “Something is up.” Terry’s phone had a text from someone inside the club. The Center Board President called to let him know that things looked bad. They got dressed and immediately drove down to Pulse. Just south of the Orlando Regional Hospital the street was completely blocked off, with police car and fire truck light flashing everywhere. His first thought was, “How is this just a shooting?”

He saw a police officer he knew and was instructed to drive down a side street and turn around to park in a small lot with some TV News Trucks. They got out and started walking fast towards the club. The same officer ran towards them shouting “Get back, there is going to be an explosion!” Terry pleaded for information, and the officer confided that there were 20 dead inside the club. Terry’s legs gave out and Bill and the officer held him. They fell back to stay out of the way. Within an hour Patty Sheehan arrived. For five or ten minutes Terry lost it and he then realized that people would want information from people that they know. Things were unfolding as they stood there.

A mother ran towards Pulse yelling her son’s name, trying to get past the police line. Press began to follow her with microphones and cameras.To shield her, Terry and a board member took her into an insurance agency building and locked the front doors to keep the media out. They held her on a brown couch in the lobby. So much happened that it was a blur. Some things were completely blocked, for instance Terry did an interview with “Good Morning America” didn’t remember it until he saw the video a year later.

Even before the Center opened at about 5:15am there was a crowd outside. Flowers had been place at the front window and people stood vigil holding candles. The press was also there with cameras ready. Once open, close to 100 people pressed inside in the first hour. It took three hours before they realized the Center was not secure. There could be another fanatic or copycat shooter. Armed guards were called in. Counselors were needed and within hours 600 counselors were ready to respond. Information was sent out via social media. The Facebook page numbers swelled astronomically. Facebook asked if they should activate the “I am OK” message. This was the first time this was used in America. Everything happened organically.

The Center became a hub. People at home were glued to the TV hoping for news but they could also go to the Center to be around others. Donations of every kind began to pour in. They would be brought in the back door and then pick ups up front would deliver the goods where they needed to go. In the first three days there were 35,000 cases of water. The water was needed since it was June and insanely hot outside. People were lined up in the sun at blood drives.

Two full trucks pulled up at the Center full of office supplies. They didn’t have any place to put it all. Luckily down the street Track Shack had a storage site and they let the Center use it. That site eventually became the distribution center. Over $80,000 worth of Gift Cards of every kind were dropped off as well. They were all logged in but the Center wasn’t great about getting every donor’s name.

That first week Terry probably got seven hours of sleep. He was Ex-Military, but nothing can prepare you for this kind of situation. Terry was on the news constantly. Bill began scheduling all the press calls and at one point he took Terry’s phone because it never stopped ringing. It was amazing how far reaching the support was after the shooting. The Eiffel tower was lit up in rainbow colors, cities from around the world showed their support in similar ways with vigils. The Orlando Community came together and we all held on to that.

Paint the Trail after Pulse

Posted on by Thor

At heart Jeff Sonsken is an instigator. He creates art to ruffle feathers and make people think. He always loved painting and artwork growing up. It was something he always did on his own ever since he was a kid. He would get inspired and draw using colored pencils, he got into airbrushing. In college he was taking photography classes but he was doing airbrushing in his spare time.

After college he moved from Iowa to Orlando settling in Longwood. Painting the trail began sort of accidentally. During the 2008 housing bubble he was a carpenter working in million dollar homes building custom bookcases, offices, bars. Before the bubble bust everyone was living high on the hog. After the crash he started fixing kitchens. He painted a big sign on fence pickets and he was going to hang it on the trail where his parents lived to advertise his services. He decided against hanging it because he wanted time with his family. He felt disappointed since the sign was already painted but he kept driving. When he got home he picked up some pickets and battened them together base coated them and painted Einstein on them just so he had something to hang up. After Einstein he painted Yoda, and he put them up.

He thought people would be irritated but they weren’t. He was clearing out a spot for several panels and some guy on his bike stopped and asked if he was the guy that put the paintings up. He said, “Yea” expecting a possible argument. But the guy said, “I love it.” Soon a mom and daughter walked up and a small crowd gathered. The biker wanted him to paint Jack Lemon, the little girl asked him to paint Alfred Hitchcock. So when he left he had 5 more names for panels to be painted. He had a mission. He wasn’t getting paid, but he had something to do. When he finished the Jack Lemon piece the guy on the bike who requested it was riding by on the trail and he just rode past. He shouted out to him, “It’s Jack Lemon!” The jerk didn’t even stop. Every time he went out he would get more requests. After 6 months he started getting requests on the Paint the Trail Facebook page.

People wanted him to donate art to help cancer research or autism, he never said no. He found himself helping people who needed help. He realized he could have a positive impact even if it was just a drip in the bucket. He has done he would draw up someone’s family member and let them fill in the paint much as he did for Pulse families. That helped a lot of people. He has gone through a bit of a metamorphosis himself. He is going to do what he is doing for as long as he can.

Though many of the trail paintings are pop cultural references there will once in a while be a memorial portrait in the mix. On the third fence he was painting, there was a woman who lost her 15 year old to leukemia and he painted the portrait. He went to meet the. Out on the trail one day, and they were already waiting. They were maybe 100 years down the trail and he walked down the trail towards them. There were two little girls and the dad, and the mom. Dad was holding flowers. So he flipped the painting around when he was about 60 feet from her and the mom just dropped. He has done many painting like that where that is what he was left with. He knows he is doing something good for them but it felt like he was inflicting pain on them. When he gets them to do the painting themselves, he is left with a more uplifting feeling about the experience. They might cry while doing the painting but when they get back to him they relate that it was an amazing experience.

 After Pulse he knew he needed to do something but he didn’t want to do something right away. Though it has been close to 2 years since the shooting it feet like yesterday while in other respects it felt like 10 years ago. The memories aren’t fresh but he remembered wrestling with it. He had a hard time with it. It happened like 18 miles from his home while he was sleeping. The rainbows don’t sink in anymore. Those were his neighbors. We all share the same community, they were brothers and sons. He spent a couple of weeks just pissed off. This happens all the time. You can’t even feel safe in your own town. It doesn’t matter where you go this could happen anywhere, a shopping mall a movie theater. We lost our mind as a civilization.

He did paint the skyline of Orlando in reference to Pulse. On Facebook he came across a video of people dancing. It didn’t make him feel happy. It tore him up. After that video he felt compelled to paint every face. He wanted people to see all their faces in one shot. As he completed each portrait he shared them on his Facebook page and families would share thoughts on his page. Once it was finished he took it to the Dr Phillips Center Memorial. Now any time there is another mass shooting people ask him to paint the number of people. No artist can keep up with those demands. He needs to think about his kids, and himself. At any moment you could be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Life was never like this before. It is crazy now. Middle school kids an high school kids are used to this new reality. Who knows what the answer is.

The trail is basically paint on wood so it can not last forever. He was doing some repairs and realized he can’t keep up with it. The more he creates the more maintenance there is. It is impossible to add up all the money he has invested. It is an expensive hobby. At some point people will have to swap out their fences when the wood rots. He creates a separate panel of fence and screws it right on to the back of an existing fence making it sturdier. When a hurricane blows through he has to think about taking sections down. Art might not last but it can help us anchor our thoughts and memories.

Jessica Domingo Going Away Party

Posted on by Thor

Jessica Domingo joined the Orange County Regional History Center in the aftermath of the Pulse nightclub shooting.She specifically joined the staff to help in cataloguing and preserving all of the memorial items collected from the Dr Phillips Center of the Performing Arts, Lake Eola and Pulse. This was a monumental task  since there were so many memorial items left and and the constant Florida rains, humidity and bugs made preserving the collection a challenge. She spent most of her time at the museum’s offsite storage facility which is in a huge warehouse.

When Hurricane Irma hit Orlando in 2017 as a category 2 storm, the warehouse roof was damaged when a rooftop access portal the size of a manhole cover was blown free and the heavy cover ripped holes in the flat roof. Unfortunate some Pulse memorial items were on the floor as they were being triaged for conservation and cataloging. Ceiling panels from the interior ceiling soaked up water leaking from the roof and fell to the floor exploding like wet bombs. Items on the floor got soaked. Pam Schwartz the museum head curator was on the scene shortly after the storm passed and assessed the damage. The staff was quickly called in to help clean up the damage. I was on site to help by making a pile of all the ceiling panels and debris  while leaving the artifacts for the museum staff to recover.

Water caused mold to build up inside the off site facilities walls and dehumidifiers were moved in and all the interior walls had to be replaced while protecting the collection with floor to ceiling plastic tarps. All of that is to say that Jessica’s job became all the more important after hurricane Irma. Conservation of memorial items did not include trying to flatten paper documents from water damage. The everyday Florida rains had already soaked and wrinkled any papers left at memorial sites. However mold could not be allowed to spread. Which reminds me I have a small pile of paintings and sketches which were also damaged by hurricane Irma. Water blew its way in through my downtown studio apartment windows soaking a small stack of art I had left near the window. I am sill debating if that work will end up in a landfill since it is damaged with black mold.

Jessica has family out west and her grandmother needed care so she decided she had to leave Orlando. A party was held at Pam Schwartz’s home. I sketched briefly between food and games. Whitney Broadaway‘s child had a game that everyone played, it involved a maze that kept moving making it a challenge for players to collect the items needed to win. I played a round after the sketch was put a side and it was a fun game.

After Hurricane Irma Jessica allowed Pam and myself to come over her place for a shower and a bit to eat.  It is when there is an emergency when true friend step up. Since moving Jessica had had a child herself. It is a shame that really good and talented friends keep getting pulled away from Orlando.

Commissioner Patty Sheehan

Posted on by Thor

This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewee. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously. 

Orlando Commissioner Patty Sheehan has just won her bid for re-election when her opponent dropped out of the race. I know her as a strong supporter of the Orlando arts scene and that was exemplified by the art decorating her office in City Hall. It was encouraging to see art by local artists that I admire, and of course Patty is also an artist.

In 2016 she also had just been re-elected and sworn in. She was working on an initiative using left over campaign funds to cut back on graffiti, there was a duplex ordinance in the works, and she was battling puppy mills. Then Pulse happened and everything shifted. When something that horrific happens there is so much to do. Someone can make less than a $700 investment and do millions of dollars in damage in minutes. No one should have that kind of power, but Orlando had to deal with the aftermath. There are so many things that you can never ever prepare for. No other city or any other community, should have to go through this. It was horrific.

Pulse was formerly an Italian restaurant. It was such a pretty club. Ron Legler, was Barbara Poma‘s partner at the time it opened. Ron loved theater, one room was like the Moulan Rouge, it had a huge chandelier, a dance floor, it was beautiful. Then there was a darker bar in the back, then you had this white room. There were planters and LEDs would change the entire color of the room, it was so cool. It was so theatrical and amazing. They remodeled it a couple of times since then. Barbara’s brother had died of AIDS and that fueled Barbara’s passion and why it was called Pulse. It is unfair that something so awful happened to someone who is so good. She had to deal with much of the anger from families.

On June 11, 2016 Patty remembered going for a walk, painting, it was a typical day, but Sunday morning June 12 will stand out for as long as she lives. Her phone was off and she got up around 7:30am to 8am that morning. She went to check her phone and she thought, “Damn, my phone is blowing up.” Everybody was calling. Just then the phone rang, the house phone. It was Frank Billingsley the chief of staff. He said, “Are you sitting down?” He said “I don’t know how to tell you this but 21 people have been shot at Pulse Nightclub.” She relied, “No, no no, please tell me it is not the largest mass shooting. I’ll be right down.” She called Eddie, her police liaison. Eddie used to work off duty at Pulse. He had just stopped since he had other commitments on Sundays. Eddie picked her up. The car pulled right up to Kaley and Orange Avenue by Einstein Beagles. This was about 8:30am.

All the officers faces were ashen. It was very raw. She looked over and saw two people wrapped in tarps. Eddie didn’t want her to see that. She looked down and saw the blood. There were places where people had fallen, and you could  tell they were dragged across the street. There were bullet casings and and she thought “Oh my God, this is Orange Avenue.”  She looked down, and realized she was standing in blood. There was blood everywhere. She walked over near the club and saw Jim Young. He had been her police liaison for a few years, so they were close. She asked, “Where is Barbara?” he said,  “We don’t know yet.” She thought, “No, no, no.” She thought Barbara the club owner was inside.

Mayor Buddy Dyer and several other commissioners went into a command center for an update. It was an air conditioned tent. They said 21 people had died at the time. They were really matter of fact about it and she was devastated. They didn’t understand what she was going through. Thank god Eddie was there. She walked back out with Eddie and Jim, they were her safe emotional space. The governor was there and she just didn’t want to deal with him. He had never been supportive of the LGBTQ community. Terry DeCarlo got there. She just hugged him. Pastor Kevin Cobaris came over and asked if he could prey with them. A picture of that moment went everywhere. Joe Burbank took that picture.

Later at a press conference they said 50 had died including the gunman in the count.  There was a hush. Media are usually always talking but everybody gasped. Media are usually don’t react they are trying to be professional, but she remembered that audible gasp. Everybody was shocked. The  number was unbelievable. She just hugged Terry. So multiple politicians got up to speak and she thought , “No one had said the word, Gay, they didn’t say Latino.” So she got up there and said, “We are a gay lesbian, bisexual, transgender community and we are united. If you think you are going to destroy us you are not because we are a strong, resilient, decent, loving people. This is who we are.” She was mad because she didn’t want them to be erased.

Patty’s phone blew up after her remarks. Everyone wanted to talk to her and a PR person stepped in to handle the deluge. She was told, “You need to be the voice of this, because others will take advantage and you are going to say the right things to help your community even if they are not.” This became her roll. She started doing interviews. She was concerned about Barbara and found out that she had been in Mexico and she was coming back. Thank god she was not inside. But then she thought, she will be devastated that she wasn’t there.

She remembered seeing Christine Leinonenwho kept asking, Where is my son?” Patty could only relate “I didn’t know, and that I’m sorry. It was so hot, and people were sitting on the sidewalks crying. They had nowhere to go. They were taken to the hotel but there was too much of a scene. People
were just looking for their kids. That was so heartbreaking and there was no information yet. Finally they opened up the Beardall Center so they had somewhere to go, looking for some answer.

Then she would get shocked back into anger since CNN wanted to do an interview with Pam Bondi and Patty together. So Pam walked right up to her and said, “You know Patty we have to do something to help the LGBTQ community.” Patty responded “I look forward to the change.” She needed to  be diplomatic since State benefits were on the line and the families were going to need the funeral benefits. Patty was already set with a mic. She thought, “I can’t do this.” A producer walked up and asked if she was OK with doing the interview and she said no. The FBI brought resources, the State people brought resources, they were helping. As much some politicians did not help, Senator Bill Nelson was getting families visas and all the things that were needed. Not all families were here they had to come from other places.

Patty met Christopher Hanson on the street. She had seen him on the news. She told him he needed to go to the Center, to get help, there were counselors there. There was another young man, he came up to her between media interviews and said, “My friend is in my apartment and he has been shot. He is undocumented.” She grabbed him by the arm and said, “You have to promise me, Immigration is not going to come, ICE is not going to come, promise me you will take your friend to the hospital.” Stuff like that was heart breaking. Patty went from media tent to media tent. Her goal was to talk about the LGBTQ community, The Latin American community, the people of color who were impacted. She wanted to talk about victims and to get blood to the blood banks, and to raise money to help. Equality Florida had a Go Fund Me already in place. She wanted to be sure people gave to a trusted source. There were many scams afterwards.

She had been on the street from 8:30 in the morning until 11:30 that night. She stayed the next day all day as well. It was so hot. Her feet were burnt from the soles of her shoes. It was a frenzy. She finally got back to her office later that week. She expected a pile of complaints about the streets being closed, hundreds of people were being inconvenienced. There was only one complaint from a guy that hadn’t bothered to renew his drivers license. Everyone else was offering help. There were people on the street with food. All these restaurants that were loosing business brought out food to all the people at the scene. Ace hardware was was cooking hot dogs for everybody on their grills. They were closed they lost thousands of dollars in business. The church put out drinks for everybody. We recharged our phones at the church and they put pastries and food out for everyone. Everyone was so kind. If there is a message to this, it is that love wins, that we all came together. You can never just turn the lights off, that says that darkness wins. You want to be a light to the world you want to show love. That is what Orlando did.

Equality Florida wanted to have the vigil right away. The city tried to discourage them for as long as they could, and they had the vigil that following Monday. Patty wasn’t even planning to go. She was honestly mad at them because they still had officers on the street. There were so many resources that were needed elsewhere. She decided to go just to find Eddie because there were just no cops. Should something happen she wanted to be there with Eddie to help protect people. She wasn’t planning to go on stage but when she walked up, people were clapping and she was overwhelmed. She didn’t feel worthy of the applause, because they had died. People told her she did a good job but it wasn’t about her getting attention, it was about the 49 it was the worst moment of her life. She doesn’t remember what she said. Everything said those first 4 or 5 days was all off the cuff. She wanted to tell the story of Orlando, many people have this idea of Orlando being the theme parks, but we have a downtown. As mad as she was at Equality Florida it was a beautiful thing that happened. She remembered the bells ringing 49 times. She approached a news cameraman and asked how long it took to ring the bells 49 times. It took eight and half minutes. An eternity.

Patty lost half her friends to AIDS between the age of 25 and 30. she
dealt with some horrific things in her life, but it prepared her so she
could be on that street to try and help those families.  Don Price put aside 49 cemetery plots at Greenwood Cemetery in case they were needed. There was a family with a divorce, and the dad took all the money and he buried his son in a paupers cemetery. So they are trying to get him back to Orlando but he has to be cremated and they are Catholic, there are all these issues.  It is still going on. It was great of the hospital to forgive the bills. But there is continuing care. The money raised by the one fund was enough to bury victims but it wasn’t enough to help the most horrifically wounded victims. There are about ten of them that have injuries that are going to cost hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Patty has become friends with a lot of the survivors. They are amazing, beautiful, loving, and forgiving people. They
did not deserve what happened to them. Many people have moved on. One
survivor went to work and sat down and the incision in his stomach
opened up. He doesn’t get to move on. We are still healing from Pulse. We
are probably never going to be the same.

Call Responders Audrey Davidson and Evalyn Casper

Posted on by Thor

This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewees. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously. 

Audrey Davidson stated that, training to become a 911 operator took five weeks followed with on the floor training for three months. Over 1000 hours of training were involved. She was a 911 operator when Pulse happened. Evalyn Casper used to watch Rescue 911 as a child religiously so growing up she thought 911 operators were pretty cool. She knew someone at the sheriffs office and they suggested she apply. Milestones in her career always seem to surrounded big events. She was hired at the sheriffs office on September 11, 2002 one year after the attack on the World Trade Center. She liked that this job allowed her to really apply herself and work her way up. All the training was offered on a platter. She was hungry for everything taking every course offered. She started training others. On June 12, 2017 she was promoted as supervisor on year after the Pulse shooting.

Being a 911operator is a stressful job. The highest stress comes when operators are inundated with a high volume of calls.  Everyone has cell phones now, so that even a back up on I-4 can generate a huge number of calls that can shut them down. An operator is supposed to systematically treat each call the same. When there are so many calls rolling it it becomes difficult. Even if you had 300 calls about the same incident you still have to process it like it is a new call. The next call might be the one that saves a life.

The day before Pulse they worked a similar overnight shift from about, 6:30pm to 6:30am. Evalyn was training a guy, it was his third day, so she was on the 911 desk. She let her trainee know that Saturday nights can get a little crazy. She advised her trainee that if things got fast paced she would move him over so she could process the calls faster. Everyone has a cell phone, and everybody is a witness so they could get flooded with calls. Most calls are verbal arguments and batteries.

Typically with a shooting there is a spurt of calls and usually the police are there within minutes. People see the lights and sirens and the calls stop. Most who call haven’t seen the incident as it happened. A 911 Operators questioning is very limited. First get the address, get the suspect description, see if the suspect is still there. The police make sure the scene is clear for fire and rescue to come in.

Audrey said that on June 12, 2016, the phones were ringing off the hook.  The fist call she got was from a guy that said, “There was a shooting at Pulse.” Pulse is not in Orange County Sheriff‘s jurisdiction, it is in Orlando Police Department‘s jurisdiction. So she transferred him over to Orlando Police. While she was waiting for Orlando Police to pick up, she thought to herself, “Pulse is a really weird place for a shooting. Pulse is just not the kind of place where a shooting would happen.” The call rang back into their com center. When OPDs phones get overwhelmed their calls all roll over to the Sheriffs call center. Their lines were overwhelmed so calls sent to them just bounced back with other another Sheriff’s operator picking up. The first time she realized it was an active shooter was when a supervisor stood up and told everyone, “There is an active shooter at Pulse.” Information needed to be picked up for every call, then move on to the next call. All the calls blurred together, “Do you have any information you can tell us? Can you tell where he is? Can you tell me what he looks like? If they said, no, the caller would be told that Sheriffs were on the way and the operator had to move on to the next call.

One call stood out for Audrey.  A woman was calling from a 7-11 in the heart of OPD jurisdiction. She was calling about a man who was drunk outside of her store. Obviously the operators had bigger problems at the time. Her information was gathered, what he looked like what he was doing. Audrey had to inform her that they were responding to a very large scale incident at the time. She told the woman to lock the door if he was outside. The very next call was from someone inside the bathroom at Pulse. Operators were informed to collect information and then hang up the phone, but she couldn’t hang up the phone on someone who was dying in a bathroom. He was someone she could have known. That could have been her, she had been to that nightclub. While talking to him, she started crying. She told him, “I’m sorry this happened to you.” She just wanted him to know that someone cared about what happened to him. She couldn’t get his name because he was whispering and the shooter was in the bathroom. It was hard. She stayed on the phone until it went silent. The call was maybe a couple off minutes but it felt like an eternity.

911 operators talk to people all the time who are very hysterical and have been in horrible situations, who have been shot, but the reality is they never speak to someone who is dying. Usually it is other people calling in. That call from the Pulse bathroom was difficult. She is glad she got a chance to let him know she cared. But it was the worst day of her life. It was the worst day for many people. It was hard.  Many family members were calling in wanting to know about their loved ones. A list was started of family names and phone numbers so families could be contacted if needed.  But they still didn’t know how many people were in the nightclub. About 4am the calls started dying off. On a short break, Evelyn called some friends to make sure they were OK. On the beak it all seemed surreal. It was so big, it was hard to process what had just happened. They were still in this limbo of not knowing the official count. They had to go back to their desks and start taking other calls until the shift was over at 6am.

Evalyn remembered that for two solid hours, no one took a break. There are 15 lines. Nobody got off the phones, no one broke down and left. It was upsetting, but everyone kept processing the calls. Usually when an operator takes a difficult call they can walk off the floor for a bit and regain their composure, but there just wasn’t time. All the calls were coming from a particular cell tower on Esther Street. So they all knew that all the calls were related. Evalyn took over for her trainee. The first call was from Duncan Donuts, They claimed that a shot came through their glass or they were hearing shooting. That call was transferred to OPD. All the circuits were busy. The next call was a mom, who was hysterical, wanting to know where her son was. She could not help her. She just wanted to stay on the phone and cry, but she couldn’t. The next call was a guy hiding in a closet inside Pulse, he kept saying, “Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?”  The guy Evalyn was speaking to was whispering. He was in
the upstairs closet. She told him “Just stay were you are. Don’t move,
don’t move, don’t move.” What else could she tell him? There is no
script.

Many were worried it would take some time to get inside. In reality compared to normal it took them very little time. Afterwards they found out what happened. At the time they didn’t have any information to give people. All they could say was, “We are there, we are coming, we are going to help you.” There had never been a active shooter in Orlando on that scale.  There is no protocol. Hang ups were not called back which they usually do. There were too many calls. They had to change their gears and triage things themselves. 400 hours of training stipulate that operators should stay on a call in an emergency situation until deputies arrive and are with the caller. But no call that night could be completed in that way. That left operators having to hang up the phone.

While Audrey cried, Evalyn remembered shaking uncontrollably. The adrenaline was running through her. She tried to make herself stop shaking but that made it worse. Despite this, she kept typing, and talking. She was on auto pilot. After their shift was over they had a debriefing. The critical incident stress management team came in and everyone talked about what just happened. It was quiet and surreal. Everyone felt numb. They stressed that it was alright open up to the feelings that would come. They shouldn’t mask anything or hide anything. There were people crying. Management also advised them to not watch the news.

When Evalyn got home she texted her mom who was asleep. “You are going to see something on the news, we worked this call, we are OK.” Around 7am they fell asleep. When they got up the next day for the next shift, they found out that a
lot more people than they thought had been killed in the club. Evalyn woke up to about 27 missed calls. They didn’t go in to work the next day. They started seeing just how many people had been shot and the reality sank in. They were angry.

They went to the vigil at Dr Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. It felt good to be out in the community. It was somber, but also it was good to see that everyone was together. There was a feeling of collective support. The shooting directly affected everyone in that we are all Orange County citizens, not everyone was from the LGBT community but they were still there. Muslims, Hispanics, Pastors, all gathered together. It seemed that everyone came and converged into Orlando from other parts of the country. Then the church bells rang 49 times. That was brutal. That was probably the worst feeling listening to that. They went back to work the following Thursday still feeling a bit angry.

There was a lot of pomp and circumstance. It was like a circus. Many wanted to reach out and congratulate them, thank them for their service. Politician, Rick Scott, went to their com center walking around while they were taking calls. Audrey couldn’t shake his hand, she was so mad. There was no sense of normalcy. For the longest time they were getting recognition. It felt like they were getting too much attention. While they shook Rick Scott’s hand, HR was telling them that they would have to have therapy. They were required to go to 3 sessions of therapy with a psychologist. Its not just about the trauma of the shooting but everything else bubbled to the surface. They gave different ways of coping, like grounding yourself. Mainly they said, “Don’t beat yourself up for feeling the way you do.”

At the one year remembrance at Lake Eola, they got to hug the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. They saw the Mural that was painted. They sang and then the angels came out and then they announced the names again. It was cool to see the families cheering when their loved one’s name was called. They recently stopped by the Pulse temporary memorial and walked around. They cried when they saw the breech in the wall, from the swat team, it was surreal to see how they it was showcased. It suggested that this how lives were saved but this is also how it all ended.

Ben Johansen: The Ribbon Maker

Posted on by Thor

This post is about the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewee. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously. 

Ben Johansen moved to Orlando in 2006. He was 34 years old. The city has grown a lot since then. There was a shop in town called Century Costumes. Ben had lost his long time job in an insurance company and he was a regular customer at Century. The business was up for sale. Ben got a call asking if her would buy the business. If he didn’t buy it, then the shop would close down completely. He talked it over with his husband Tim Vargas and they ended up buying it. Embelish FX has been open for 5 years now and it has been steadily growing. Ben loves the place. No day is ever the same.

He and Tim went to Pulse on many occasions for events and fundraisers. They were very involved with Pulse since Tim was the president of the board of directors. Ben has known Barbara Poma the owner of Pulse for years. The day before the shooting he was at a Make Up Show at the Convention Center. Life was good.

Tim doesn’t sleep very well. He is always awake at 4AM. On the early morning of June 12, 2016 Tim had turned on the TV in the living room. He went into the bedroom and turned it on there as well. He shook Ben and said, “You’ve got to get up.” Ben isn’t a morning person, he was very groggy getting up, the dog licked his face. Tim was very animated, he said, “Open your eyes and look at the TV.” All that was visible was the red glow from the TV, and the breaking news banner at the bottom of the screen. In his fog, Ben asked “What is going on?” Tim responded, “There has been a really bad shooting.” He started to cry. Ben got up and asked “What happened?” “There was a shooting at Pulse, there are many dead.” Tim said. Thoughts flew to friends. Tim urged Ben, “Take a quick shower we have to get to The Center.”

Tim drove. On the way to the Center it was still dark. Ben looked at his Facebook feed as he sat in the passenger seat. He was trying to figure out what happened. He couldn’t read the small screen through his tears. At the Center they met Terry DeCarlo who was the executive director at the time. People came with crates and crates of water and food. Volunteers kept showing up. The Center became the drop off point. They sent water to Camping World Stadium and the long lines at blood banks so that people didn’t dehydrate. That was the one thing about that week, it was so hot, like being on the surface of the sun. There was nothing anyone could do about it, but just keep on going. That week was a blur.

Ben explained, “The first day, I was lost. I didn’t know what to do, but I needed to do something.” He called his dad who was a police officer who loves everybody but doesn’t like to show it. Ben called just to say he was alive, that he hadn’t been in the club. That call is where the idea of the black swatch came from. As a child he remembered seeing his dad with a black swatch across his badge any time an officer passed. Ben called it the respect bar.

He found himself at Michael’s craft store to clear his head and wandered towards in the ribbon section where thee were rolls of rainbow ribbon. He brought a rainbow ribbon roll, a black ribbon roll and a box of pins. He had about enough supplies for  30 ribbons. At the Center he set himself up a small station to work with a laptop computer so he could keep watching the news. There were so many people, and he just didn’t want to get in the way. He started making ribbons. He pricked his fingers so many times that they were bleeding, but he didn’t care. He would give one to each volunteer pinning it over their heart and giving them a hug. As people dropped things off at the Center they noticed the ribbons and started asking for them. Ben had a small stash. When friends came to visit and hug him he would give them one.

He realized he was going to run out so he headed back to Michael’s. They only had two more rolls of rainbow ribbon left, so he had to put out an APB on social media. “Please bring rainbow ribbon.” People showed up with bags and bags of rainbow ribbon rolls, black ribbon and pins. Volunteers kept offering to help but Ben wanted to do it alone, he needed to do something. It helped alleviate the sense of loss and uselessness. But so many people wanted ribbons that eventually he needed to let people help. Now everyone helps. They started with one ribbon and the other day they hit the 700,000 mark. Rainbow ribbons are bought in 100 yard rolls. That is how he can keep track of how many are made. Soon Ben hopes to have met the 1 million ribbon mark.

A friend helped Ben set up a website where ribbon orders could be placed. Orders started coming from all over the world. Ben had put $7000 of his own money into ribbon supplies. The supplies and postage were wiping him out. A Go Fund Me Page was started which raised about $15,000 which helped with supplies. Orders range from 1 ribbon to 8,000. Every order was fulfilled. Celebrities like Miley Cyrus, George Takai, Alan Cumming, and Hillary Clinton have worn the ribbons. He would still love to get one to Michelle Obama someday.

The rainbow ribbons have become a symbol around the world for love
and hope. This small gesture wasn’t intended to get so big but Ben is
glad it did. Every ribbon is a conversation starter. If he is wearing
one and is outside Florida someone will ask, “What is that for?” He
tells them the story and gives them a ribbon. He has a rainbow ribbon
tattooed on his arm. He can always see it and it brings life back into
focus.

Ben knew 12 people who died at Pulse that night. You never expect this to happen in your own back yard. It was a wake up call to Orlando. At the big candlelight vigil at Lake Eola there were 50,000 people. Ben remembers where he was that night, how he held the candle and cried uncontrollably. At the one year remembrance he stood in the exact same spot with close friends and managed to smile.  Peg O’Keef was reading a monologue from O-Town: Voices from Orlando on the Disney Amphitheater stage and she mentioned the ribbon maker in the monologue. At that moment a rainbow appeared above Lake Eola. It was a moment of reflection and hope. Perhaps we are going to be OK.

Love Trumps Hate

Posted on by Thor

On June 12, 2019 families of the fallen, survivors and members of the community gathered at Pulse to remember the 49 lives lost in a horrific act of violence. It was a chance to honor loved ones, to show support for the survivors and to honor first responders. It was 195 days since Orlando as a city changed.Orlando as a community continues to rise.

The sun was setting as Pam Schwartz and I arrived at the memorial ceremony. She branched off to make sure families were seated and I began to document the evening with a sketch. I had my own art stool and I sat in among the families leaning back against a tree. Several of the Angel Action Wings were in the crowd.

Several rows ahead of me I could see the father of Cory James Connell with his baseball cap and number 7 jersey. Cory was shot and killed on June 12, 2016 at Pulse. Later that year the family was blessed with the birth of a baby boy who they decided to name Cory as well. I sketched young Cory several times when the family spoke about their journey after the loss of their son. Now young Cory was a young three year old with wild hair and plenty of attitude.

During one of the songs a mother cried inconsolably to my right. Around me people turned and pointed their cameras towards the horizon. A large rainbow had formed as if an sign of the love and acceptance being honored. Barbara Poma offered a few remarks as did Buddy Dyer and Jerry Demmings. A sign language interpreter signed every comment of love and acceptance.  Then the names of the 49 were read. Unfortunately a few names were mispronounced.

Heather Martin a survivor of the Columbine shooting spoke candidly of her long road to recovery following that shooting. She talked about how loud sounds like fireworks could act as triggers. As she was talking an ambulance rushed by with it’s siren blaring which is another sound that triggers memories of that night at Pulse. “This unfortunate bond of tragedy has born incredible friendships, friendships that have kept me going when I struggle.” she said. Sharing her battle, her struggle helps overshadow the dark times with hope and love.

Plans are in the works for a permanent memorial and museum on the Pulse Nightclub site. Architecture firms from all over the world will be submitting proposals for what should be on this site. Opinions about what should be on the site are varied.