Love Trumps Hate

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On June 12, 2019 families of the fallen, survivors and members of the community gathered at Pulse to remember the 49 lives lost in a horrific act of violence. It was a chance to honor loved ones, to show support for the survivors and to honor first responders. It was 195 days since Orlando as a city changed.Orlando as a community continues to rise.

The sun was setting as Pam Schwartz and I arrived at the memorial ceremony. She branched off to make sure families were seated and I began to document the evening with a sketch. I had my own art stool and I sat in among the families leaning back against a tree. Several of the Angel Action Wings were in the crowd.

Several rows ahead of me I could see the father of Cory James Connell with his baseball cap and number 7 jersey. Cory was shot and killed on June 12, 2016 at Pulse. Later that year the family was blessed with the birth of a baby boy who they decided to name Cory as well. I sketched young Cory several times when the family spoke about their journey after the loss of their son. Now young Cory was a young three year old with wild hair and plenty of attitude.

During one of the songs a mother cried inconsolably to my right. Around me people turned and pointed their cameras towards the horizon. A large rainbow had formed as if an sign of the love and acceptance being honored. Barbara Poma offered a few remarks as did Buddy Dyer and Jerry Demmings. A sign language interpreter signed every comment of love and acceptance.  Then the names of the 49 were read. Unfortunately a few names were mispronounced.

Heather Martin a survivor of the Columbine shooting spoke candidly of her long road to recovery following that shooting. She talked about how loud sounds like fireworks could act as triggers. As she was talking an ambulance rushed by with it’s siren blaring which is another sound that triggers memories of that night at Pulse. “This unfortunate bond of tragedy has born incredible friendships, friendships that have kept me going when I struggle.” she said. Sharing her battle, her struggle helps overshadow the dark times with hope and love.

Plans are in the works for a permanent memorial and museum on the Pulse Nightclub site. Architecture firms from all over the world will be submitting proposals for what should be on this site. Opinions about what should be on the site are varied.

Cory James Connell, one man can change the world.

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At the six month anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, Tara and James Connell invited me to sketch a ceremony honoring their son at Greenwood Cemetery. Tara’s directions were a bit confusing but James gave me a ballpark approximation of where to find their son’s resting place. The ceremony was to start at 5:30pm but I got there early around 4:30pm. I drove through the cemetery in search of one headstone among thousands. I knew that the site was near the 408 and in a corner of the cemetery under a tree. I circled around the winding lanes multiple times hoping to spot James Connell’s name. A black headstone read Papadakis and gorgeous white sculpture of an angel kept catching my eye as I circled.

Finally I parked and just started walking among the headstones. I was lost. Finding an individual stone would be like finding a needle in a haystack. I was searching for rainbows as a hint that I might be near. There were random sparks of color. New grass outlined some grave sites. Instinctively I walked towards a dark live oak tree that was right next to the road. Amazingly, I walked right up to Cory James Connell‘s head stone.

A football jersey read, Cory Strong. A signed football was at the site. There were Christmas candy canes decorating the site along with red solar powered Christmas lights. Two lanterns with penguins on them flanked the headstone. I was the only person around. I sat down and started to sketch. Behind the head stones, the sky lit up with a stunning vibrant sunset. I was blinded at times staring right into the blazing sun. To the right of Cory’s head stone were the head stones of a couple who had died together at Pulse. Anthony Luis Laurean Dilsa was buried right behind his partner, Leroy Valentin Fernandez. To the left of Cory’s stone was the headstone of Alejandro Barrios Martinez, another victim of the senseless violence. There were engraved photos on each stone. Gorgeous live flowers decorated each site in the granite vases. A burly man with golden shades walked up to Leroy’s stone and placed a bouquet of flowers at the site. He stood in silent thought for the longest time and then left.

After sunset, the family started to arrive. A little girl laughed as she raced her brother. She grew silent when she arrived. Well over 40 people gathered around the stone and lit candles. 49 balloons of every color of the rainbow were brought over. A couple held each other for strength. Headlights glared as cars raced down the 408 access road just beyond the fence. Orlando city skyscrapers were visible in the distance. Everyone was instructed to find a video online that was a tribute to Cory. After a countdown, everyone pressed play and watched. Heaven was needing a Hero, cut the silence. I struggled for some emotional distance and strength.

The balloons strings were untangled from each other and handed out to each person. Markers squeaked messages of love and remembrance. Everyone moved out from under the live oak canopy, away from the grave site for a group photo. With one more countdown, everyone released the balloons which slowly floated up to the stars. Cell phone videos caught the ascent. With the sketch complete, I drifted away among the headstones into the dark to head down to Pulse where prayers and song  continued to honor all who were lost six months ago. I felt sad for love lost but needed to keep moving. It is all that I can do to try and understand.

“Love is stronger than death, even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” – unknown

2:02am at Pulse.

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December 12, 2016 at 2:02am, Barbara Poma, the owner of the Pulse nightclub opened the gate to the fence that surrounds the club. It was exactly six months since the horrific mass shooting that killed 49 Orlando citizens. Friends and family of victims were invited inside for a private memorial candlelight service. A Pulse employee handed out rainbow ribbons to everyone in line. There was a small Christmas Tree outside the had ornaments for each of the 49 victims. As family and friends entered the gate, they had to empty their pockets and then go through a metal detector search. I sat on a stone bench right next to the entry door. In this exact spot I once comforted a friend who had too much to drink about nine years ago.

Cut out stars and candles were arranged on the pavement inside the perimeter in a pulse shaped pattern. Couples hugged each other and everyone stood facing the building. A woman I didn’t know hugged me and said she couldn’t wait to see the sketch. She returned to her girlfriend in the crowd. A purple neon circle illuminated the spot above the entry. We were told not to go near the door since it was alarmed. I returned outside to join the line of TV news cameras. Cory James Connell‘s parents Tara and James Connell gave me a hug and a handshake. Tara said she was doing fine until they got to the club. She looked across the street with trepidation and then they walked across and entered the gate. As I sketched I could hear crying from behind the art decorated fence. Someone was wailing, bereft. My heart broke.

Afterward Tara told me that the six month memorial had been done right. Some memorial items were left inside and a bright rainbow sign was left for Cory. It was all so sad. I gave Tara a hug. She invited me to Woodlawn Cemetery that evening where her son was buried. Three other victims of the Pulse shooting were buried right beside him. A couple was buried to his right and the third to his left. At dusk they were having a service and would release Japanese floating lanterns in his honor. Tara gave directions to the grave site but there were so many twists and turns in the directions that I knew I was going to be lost. She confessed that she gets turned around when she goes. They went to their SUV, but James returned and gave me abbreviated directions. They both waved as they drove away. I wasn’t alone. I love that family.

“When a wave of love
takes over a human being… such an exaltation takes him that he knows
he has put his finger on the pulse of the great secret and the great
answer.”

~Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

49 Portraits at Gatlin Creative.

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On September 24th, the 49 portraits of Pulse victims were on display at Gatlin Creative (4940 South Orange Avenue Orlando FL) about a mile south of Pulse. I drove past the club to the opening. A new colorfull banner now covers the fence surrounding the club. I had just screened my short film, “Finger on the Pulse” at the Global Peace Film Festival. Vicki Nantz had allowed me to share the screen with her 18 minute documentary about her feelings after the Pulse tragedy. The screening was at The Gallery at Avalon Island which has a mini theater on the second floor. We held a talk back after the film that went on for over an hour. It seems everyone needed a forum to express the shock, horror and frustrations about how slow change can be. Vicki and her wife have faced open hatred for being lesbians. Someone actually threatened to kill them. Orlando is home to several well known hate groups. Since Pulse, Orlando has made a shift towards being more open and caring but there is still a long way to go. I was shocked to find myself sharing my thoughts and feelings openly in front of the audience. Both Vicki and I both broke down several times as we tried to express what drove us. Vicki invited down a psychologist to help us moderate. Mallory Vance was back a her parents place in the Mid-west and her description of her small town’s reaction, made it clear that the effects of the Pulse shooting are wide spread. Was the community conversation healing? I’m not sure, but I got to share thoughts that have haunted me, and the incredible love and support in the room was palpable.

As I arrived at the 49 Portraits opening, the sky to the west was ablaze in a gorgeous orange glow with huge billowing clouds. Tiffany Windsor was at the entrance collecting the $15 entrance fee. The 49 portraits filled the warehouse space perfectly in a single row hung clothes line style. The warm evening breeze kept the portraits fluttering as if they wanted to take flight. Channel 2 News was shooting footage for the evening news. I spoke to the reporter on camera and then invited another artist, Bob Hague to do the same. A Japanese TV station and UCF TV also showed up.

Cory James Connell age 21, was the first Pulse victim portrait I did. His parents Tara and James Connell came to the opening along with Cory’s grand parents and sisters. I got to meet the entire family and I’m humbled by their outward show of strength. Tara actually invited me to their home. As I worked on Cory’s portrait, a man looking over my shoulder had related details about the young man that brought him alive in my minds eye.  I am hoping that the Connell family will also share their memories.

People paused in front of sketches and took photos. I could see some getting choked up and wiping away tears. I wanted to meet them all, but also felt they deserved privacy. A young woman took me to the portrait of a dear friend, Luis Omar Occasion-Capo. This portrait was painted by Mitch Scott. She thanked me for helping keep his memory alive. I also got to meet Wilma and her son. Her son’s father, and her longtime best friend and salsa partner, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado was drawn by Betsy Brabrandt. Xavier was the first portrait drawn by Betsy in about 25 years. She was a fashion illustrator in NYC, but when she moved to Orlando, her art took a back seat to raising a family. Wilma talked about how Xavier taught her everything she knows about Salsa dancing. She had never danced in heals but Xavier showed her how. She very well could have gone to Pulse that night but she was tired. How is it that the few artists in attendance got to meet the families of the person they drew. There really is some greater force at work.

The money raised from this showing of the portraits is going into framing the pieces.

Weekend Top 6 Picks for August 6th and 7th.

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Saturday August 6, 2016

6pm to Midnight Free but get beer! Craft Beer Carnival. The Copper Rocket Pub 106 Lake Ave, Maitland, Florida. Come one, come all to the greatest prost on earth! The first ever Craft Beer Carnival at the Copper Rocket Pub in Maitland. Join us for what will surely be an EPIC night of craft beer fueled fun and excitement. Watch as sword swallowers, fire dancers, body painters, stilt walkers and more party it up with you in celebration of Eli Brooks and Jeremy Wood’s birthdays! Beer tents will rise up, bands will lay it down and the party will carry on! Come thirsty and bring friends, we’ll need your help to float the event exclusive KEG OF PRARIE’S BIRTHDAY BOMB! Simply mention Beer Snob Society and recieve *20% OFF* of your tab for being part of the coolest beer club around! (Discount also applies to your guests)!!!

9pm to 11pm Free but get a drink. Disarm Hate.The Falcon 819 E Washington St, Orlando, Florida. Participating Artists (so far):

Brandi Monard

Carmen Berfield

Cristina Glynn

Holly Tharp

Josie Pedragoza

Korri Lacalamita

Laura Ashley

Melissa Doskoyz

Michelle Irizarry

Morgan Wilson

Plinio Pinto

Tina Thomas

Also the 49 Portraits created on the evening of July 3 will be on display.

Cory James Connell www.gofundme.com/295tskk 

Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez www.gofundme.com/29g76x8 

Javier Jorge-ReyesReyes and Jean C. Nives Rodriguez www.pulseoforlando.org

10pm to the next morning. Free. Creative Sleep Over. Defined Enterprises 279 Douglas Ave, Altamonte Springs, Florida. You ever wondered what would happen if a buch of creatives got together and slept under one roof? No need to imagine anymore, every second saturday Defined Enterprises opens it’s doors for all the creatives to spend one night out of the month together. Feel free to bring your own set of tools that allow you to create. Bring your own pillows and blankets. Food and bevarages will be served through out the night.

Creatives, artist, dancers, directors, photographers, musicians, engineers, gamers, techies, models and innovators, you guys are all welcomed.

EVERY SECOND SATURDAY!!!!!

BRING BOARD GAMES AND THINGS THAT WILL HELP US COLLECT MEMORIES!!!!

Sunday August 7, 2016

10am to 4pm Free. Lake Eola Farmers Market. South East Corner of Lake Eola Park. Produce, flowers, gifts and the unexpected.

Noon to 3pm Free or donation. Music at the Casa. Mini parlor concert every Sunday.

2pm to 4pm Free. Yoga. Lake Eola Park, 195 N Rosalind Ave, Orlando, FL. Near the Red Pagoda.

49 Portraits, One Night.

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Once a month I host an event called Orlando Drink and Draw. After the tragic event at Pulse, I decided to ask artists to come together to produce 49 portraits in one night. I was running late and managed to leave the list of victim’s names back in my studio. When I got to the Falcon Bar (819 E Washington St, Orlando, FL), Melissa Marie quickly helped me set up a method of assigning names to artists so we could get to work. A chalk board was used to write the artist’s name and then the name of the person they were to draw. Everyone had cell phones, so they did a search on Google Images to find the needed photo reference. 

After all the artists were assigned, I was assigned, Cory James Connell age 21. I knew nothing about Cory, but he was an athletic looking young man with a warm smile. His T-shirt said, “Built Not Born.” As I was starting to add color washes, a man stood behind me and said, “That’s Cory. My daughter knew him in high school.” He was a graduate of Edgewater High School and was studying at Valencia College while working at the Publix in College Park. Cory hoped to be a firefighter some day.

At the funeral, Orange County
Fire Rescue firefighter/paramedic Lori Clay told the crowd that Cory  was a regular at the firehouse and was interested in pursuing a
firefighting career when he left college, even after he was warned that
the profession wasn’t the most lucrative. Cory told her,
“I don’t care about money,” Clay told the gathering. “‘I want to do it
because I want to save lives. I want to help people.'” Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs made a proclamation during the service that officially made him a firefighter. After friends and family carried the casket carrying Connell out, three fire engines followed a procession of more than 20 cars. When that was all clear, nine motorcycles pursued the caravan as they transported Connell to the cemetery.

According to the man standing behind me, Cory Connell went to Pulse that evening to dance with his girlfriend Paula Andrea Blanco.  When the gunman went inside he fired off several rounds one of which
struck Paula in the forearm area. Her teammate managed to grab her arm
to apply pressure and pull her down to safety. They patiently and
quietly waited to get out to safety. Little did they know that Paula was
not the only member of the group injured. Paula’s boyfriend Cory
Connell was also gravely wounded. With the help of her teammate Paula
got up and ran outside holding her wrist where she was met by an officer
and the teammate who was outside trying to get to the other members of
the Anarchy group. Her forearm bone was shattered. From that moment onward I felt sorrow and intense gratitude for all the artists who had gathered to do these 49 portraits. I experienced heart break and joy all at once. The bar as full of love and hope as we all rushed to complete the work at hand. These faces all had stories and since Orlando is a small town, those stories were close at hand. 

Javier Jorge-Reyes, age 40, was a salesman at Gucci which arranged for the body to be transported and for the family to go back to Puerto Rico. Jorge-Reyes had a flair about him and went by the name Harvey George
Kings on Facebook. It’s an English translation of his Spanish name. Friends knew him as “Javi” and on Facebook recalled his smile, sass and energy.

 Juan Carlos Nives Rodriguez, age 27, started working at McDonald’s at the age of 15 to help support his family. He was recently made a manager at a check cashing store. He purchased his first home this spring so that his mother could live there too. A friend called him a big teddy bear who was most happy when everyone depended on him. His funeral was in his hometown of Caguas, Puerto Rico, June 20, 2016.

The last portrait I did was of Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velasquez, age 50. He was the oldest of the

victims. As I did the sketch, I could not shake the idea that he looks just like me. Fearing it was turning into a self portrait, I turned the sketch multiple times to try and view the features more abstractly. Franky worked at Forever 21 as a visual merchandiser, a crucial role for a retail store. He joked that he was older than the store’s demographic. In his younger days In his younger days, he traveled the world as a professional Jibaro folk dancer. Velazquez lived in Orlando at the time of his death. But his original
home was in Puerto Rico, more specifically San Juan. A native Puerto
Rican, according to his Facebook he attended Josefina Barcelo High
School in Guaynabo. From there he returned to San Juan for university,
attending the Inter American University of Puerto Rico, at the Metro
Campus.

As the evening wore on the his of names grew smaller and the art began to pile up on several tables inside the Falcon Bar. Melissa who we handling the artist assignments signaled that we were getting close and she gave me an air high five. Much of the magic that evening came from walking around and seeing the wide variety of artist styles. The evening gave me faith that art do have the power to bring people together and to heal. Orlando is a vibrant city with so much talent and this collaboration among 18 of Orlando’s best artists.

Contributors included:

Andrew Spear

Betsy Brabandt

Bob Hague

David McWhertor

KC Cali

Charles Richardson

Colin Boyer

Jamie Gibson

John Hurst

Lauren Jane

Lisa Ikegami

Mitch Scott

Plinio Pinto

Shelaine Roustio

Thomas Thorspecken

Tony Philippou

Wendi Swanson

Yuki

Now I need to find a place to exhibit these 49 portraits. If you have any suggestions or know a curator who would be interested, please let me know. Three of us are pursuing leads to get this amazing work viewed in public.