Cory James Connell, one man can change the world.

Posted on by Thor

At the six month anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, Tara and James Connell invited me to sketch a ceremony honoring their son at Greenwood Cemetery. Tara’s directions were a bit confusing but James gave me a ballpark approximation of where to find their son’s resting place. The ceremony was to start at 5:30pm but I got there early around 4:30pm. I drove through the cemetery in search of one headstone among thousands. I knew that the site was near the 408 and in a corner of the cemetery under a tree. I circled around the winding lanes multiple times hoping to spot James Connell’s name. A black headstone read Papadakis and gorgeous white sculpture of an angel kept catching my eye as I circled.

Finally I parked and just started walking among the headstones. I was lost. Finding an individual stone would be like finding a needle in a haystack. I was searching for rainbows as a hint that I might be near. There were random sparks of color. New grass outlined some grave sites. Instinctively I walked towards a dark live oak tree that was right next to the road. Amazingly, I walked right up to Cory James Connell‘s head stone.

A football jersey read, Cory Strong. A signed football was at the site. There were Christmas candy canes decorating the site along with red solar powered Christmas lights. Two lanterns with penguins on them flanked the headstone. I was the only person around. I sat down and started to sketch. Behind the head stones, the sky lit up with a stunning vibrant sunset. I was blinded at times staring right into the blazing sun. To the right of Cory’s head stone were the head stones of a couple who had died together at Pulse. Anthony Luis Laurean Dilsa was buried right behind his partner, Leroy Valentin Fernandez. To the left of Cory’s stone was the headstone of Alejandro Barrios Martinez, another victim of the senseless violence. There were engraved photos on each stone. Gorgeous live flowers decorated each site in the granite vases. A burly man with golden shades walked up to Leroy’s stone and placed a bouquet of flowers at the site. He stood in silent thought for the longest time and then left.

After sunset, the family started to arrive. A little girl laughed as she raced her brother. She grew silent when she arrived. Well over 40 people gathered around the stone and lit candles. 49 balloons of every color of the rainbow were brought over. A couple held each other for strength. Headlights glared as cars raced down the 408 access road just beyond the fence. Orlando city skyscrapers were visible in the distance. Everyone was instructed to find a video online that was a tribute to Cory. After a countdown, everyone pressed play and watched. Heaven was needing a Hero, cut the silence. I struggled for some emotional distance and strength.

The balloons strings were untangled from each other and handed out to each person. Markers squeaked messages of love and remembrance. Everyone moved out from under the live oak canopy, away from the grave site for a group photo. With one more countdown, everyone released the balloons which slowly floated up to the stars. Cell phone videos caught the ascent. With the sketch complete, I drifted away among the headstones into the dark to head down to Pulse where prayers and song  continued to honor all who were lost six months ago. I felt sad for love lost but needed to keep moving. It is all that I can do to try and understand.

“Love is stronger than death, even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” – unknown

2:02am at Pulse.

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December 12, 2016 at 2:02am, Barbara Poma, the owner of the Pulse nightclub opened the gate to the fence that surrounds the club. It was exactly six months since the horrific mass shooting that killed 49 Orlando citizens. Friends and family of victims were invited inside for a private memorial candlelight service. A Pulse employee handed out rainbow ribbons to everyone in line. There was a small Christmas Tree outside the had ornaments for each of the 49 victims. As family and friends entered the gate, they had to empty their pockets and then go through a metal detector search. I sat on a stone bench right next to the entry door. In this exact spot I once comforted a friend who had too much to drink about nine years ago.

Cut out stars and candles were arranged on the pavement inside the perimeter in a pulse shaped pattern. Couples hugged each other and everyone stood facing the building. A woman I didn’t know hugged me and said she couldn’t wait to see the sketch. She returned to her girlfriend in the crowd. A purple neon circle illuminated the spot above the entry. We were told not to go near the door since it was alarmed. I returned outside to join the line of TV news cameras. Cory James Connell‘s parents Tara and James Connell gave me a hug and a handshake. Tara said she was doing fine until they got to the club. She looked across the street with trepidation and then they walked across and entered the gate. As I sketched I could hear crying from behind the art decorated fence. Someone was wailing, bereft. My heart broke.

Afterward Tara told me that the six month memorial had been done right. Some memorial items were left inside and a bright rainbow sign was left for Cory. It was all so sad. I gave Tara a hug. She invited me to Woodlawn Cemetery that evening where her son was buried. Three other victims of the Pulse shooting were buried right beside him. A couple was buried to his right and the third to his left. At dusk they were having a service and would release Japanese floating lanterns in his honor. Tara gave directions to the grave site but there were so many twists and turns in the directions that I knew I was going to be lost. She confessed that she gets turned around when she goes. They went to their SUV, but James returned and gave me abbreviated directions. They both waved as they drove away. I wasn’t alone. I love that family.

“When a wave of love
takes over a human being… such an exaltation takes him that he knows
he has put his finger on the pulse of the great secret and the great
answer.”

~Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

49 Portraits at Gatlin Creative.

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On September 24th, the 49 portraits of Pulse victims were on display at Gatlin Creative (4940 South Orange Avenue Orlando FL) about a mile south of Pulse. I drove past the club to the opening. A new colorfull banner now covers the fence surrounding the club. I had just screened my short film, “Finger on the Pulse” at the Global Peace Film Festival. Vicki Nantz had allowed me to share the screen with her 18 minute documentary about her feelings after the Pulse tragedy. The screening was at The Gallery at Avalon Island which has a mini theater on the second floor. We held a talk back after the film that went on for over an hour. It seems everyone needed a forum to express the shock, horror and frustrations about how slow change can be. Vicki and her wife have faced open hatred for being lesbians. Someone actually threatened to kill them. Orlando is home to several well known hate groups. Since Pulse, Orlando has made a shift towards being more open and caring but there is still a long way to go. I was shocked to find myself sharing my thoughts and feelings openly in front of the audience. Both Vicki and I both broke down several times as we tried to express what drove us. Vicki invited down a psychologist to help us moderate. Mallory Vance was back a her parents place in the Mid-west and her description of her small town’s reaction, made it clear that the effects of the Pulse shooting are wide spread. Was the community conversation healing? I’m not sure, but I got to share thoughts that have haunted me, and the incredible love and support in the room was palpable.

As I arrived at the 49 Portraits opening, the sky to the west was ablaze in a gorgeous orange glow with huge billowing clouds. Tiffany Windsor was at the entrance collecting the $15 entrance fee. The 49 portraits filled the warehouse space perfectly in a single row hung clothes line style. The warm evening breeze kept the portraits fluttering as if they wanted to take flight. Channel 2 News was shooting footage for the evening news. I spoke to the reporter on camera and then invited another artist, Bob Hague to do the same. A Japanese TV station and UCF TV also showed up.

Cory James Connell age 21, was the first Pulse victim portrait I did. His parents Tara and James Connell came to the opening along with Cory’s grand parents and sisters. I got to meet the entire family and I’m humbled by their outward show of strength. Tara actually invited me to their home. As I worked on Cory’s portrait, a man looking over my shoulder had related details about the young man that brought him alive in my minds eye.  I am hoping that the Connell family will also share their memories.

People paused in front of sketches and took photos. I could see some getting choked up and wiping away tears. I wanted to meet them all, but also felt they deserved privacy. A young woman took me to the portrait of a dear friend, Luis Omar Occasion-Capo. This portrait was painted by Mitch Scott. She thanked me for helping keep his memory alive. I also got to meet Wilma and her son. Her son’s father, and her longtime best friend and salsa partner, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado was drawn by Betsy Brabrandt. Xavier was the first portrait drawn by Betsy in about 25 years. She was a fashion illustrator in NYC, but when she moved to Orlando, her art took a back seat to raising a family. Wilma talked about how Xavier taught her everything she knows about Salsa dancing. She had never danced in heals but Xavier showed her how. She very well could have gone to Pulse that night but she was tired. How is it that the few artists in attendance got to meet the families of the person they drew. There really is some greater force at work.

The money raised from this showing of the portraits is going into framing the pieces.