After Pulse: Lindsay Kincaide

Posted on by Thor

Lindsay Kincaide is an Orlando Florida mental health clinician and an HIV, LGBT advocate. She volunteered at the Center on Tuesday nights and the volunteers  became known as Team Tuesday. After work they would go to Karaoke night at Pulse.

She loved Pulse. A friend dealt poker at Pulse. Barbara Poma had named the club after her brother who passed away from aids, and she was always open to local agencies coming into the club to do fundraisers.

She started with front desk work at the Center but wanted to get involved as an HIV tester. She did the work to become a certified HIV tester in the state of Florida. She as also a case manager for low income people living with HIV, Aids. She was promoted to become the Center’s HIV program director. She built the program up adding Hep-C and STI testing and she expanded mental health services.

She vividly recalls June 11, the day before the Pulse tragedy. She was running a support group for partners of individuals how have come out as trans-gender. She was running that support group on Saturday mornings. It was a beautiful day. She felt great and went shopping at Publix for the weekend. The plan was to have mimosas on Sunday. She and her partner went to bed early that night, about 10pm. She considered the idea of going out, maybe to Southern Nights, but she was tired.

She woke up the next morning to the text messages, “Are you OK?” “Did you go to Pulse?” A text message at 2Am read, “Are you at Pulse?” from a friend. She assumed her friend wanted her to meet at Pulse. Then she got a text from a best friend in Atlanta. Then she sought out the news at about 8AM on social media. What the hell is going on? She jumped out of bed and woke her partner up, “There has been a shooting at Pulse.” She realized she had to go to the Center. That was her first instinct. Her partner was nervous, “What if they decide to go to the center and begin shooting?” At that point Lindsay didn’t care. She needed to be there. They both went.

They got coffee and immediately drove to the Center and they were some of the first to arrive. No one was prepared for this. The Center started putting information online via Facebook. People started to arrive. Water, Klenex, toilet paper, paper towels, coffee and food poured into the Center. They moved the TV to the front room so that the news could come in.

About mid-morning about 12 councilors went into the back and stated to figure out how to mobilize. They needed to be in the community. A clipboard was passed around but that wasn’t going to work. Someone suggested Google Docs to get organized. A spreadsheet was created. Lindsay began to sign people up, getting their contact information. The Zebra Coalition right across the street donated their crisis hotline. People were sent to the hotel across the street from ORMC where the families were hoping to hear news about their loved ones. They also needed an off site location. The Center was getting insanely crowded. That off site location became Christ’s Church on Robinson.

The Google Doc which she ran had contact information and then tabs for the different sites and different shifts. For the first day, Sunday, She tried to schedule people. It was too much for her to handle alone. She was there until 11Pm on Sunday. She decided to just put the spreadsheet out into the world, and let people sign up virtually. She added new tabs as needed. The document was editable. It went out on all the Facebook pages that counselors are a part of. Her phone blew up with call from all over the country. She was texting, e-mailing and calling out information to everyone to sign in on the Google Doc. She was up until 2AM. Over 700 people signed up. There were about 1000 interactions between June 12 and July 4th.

By Monday they were going to the LGBT clubs, Parliament House, Southern Nights, Savoy, Stonewall, because that is where the community gathers when they need support. That is our safe space. Councilors were at the clubs until midnight. The mental health community wrapped their arm around the LGBT community and said, we are here. They provided support and connected people to counseling. Two Spirit began offering services for free and the Center got their counseling mobilized. Another Google Doc was created where she asked all who had signed up, what they were willing to offer the community. That document went to what became the United Orlando Assistance Center and to the Center as a counseling resource guide.

 

After Pulse: David Thomas Moran

Posted on by Thor

Advisory: Please note that this post is about the Pulse nightclub massacre on June 12, 2016. It contains sensitive and difficult to read content. Post written with narrator’s consent.

David Thomas Moran co-founded Gays Against Guns in the aftermath of the Pulse nightclub shooting. He participated in a sit-in for the 49 lives lost and was arrested.

David first became an activist in college. The Pulse hate crime and Donald Trump’s election made the stakes higher than ever for him. He feels marginalized people are being scapegoated and targeted for everything.

The day before the shooting at Pulse, a friend had returned to Orlando. He picked his friend up from the airport and his friend wanted to go out that Friday before the shooting, but David was tired and so stayed home. His friend went out and saw Drew Leinonen and Juan Guerrero at Southern Nights, another club in Orlando. That was the same night Christina Grimmie was murdered at the Plaza Live.

Saturday morning, David walked to Plaza Live to pay his respects to her. That night he had to work at the restaurant again. After work, he asked his friend if he wanted to go out to Southern Nights or Pulse. However their car battery kept dying. They struggled in the parking lot to jump the battery and by the time they got a charge they decided they were done for the night. They went home.

David didn’t sleep well that night. He noticed some vibrating. He got a text message that said, “there has been a mass shooting at Pulse.” What? He went to CNN and the top story was the shooting. It did not make sense. At the time the news said that 20 people had been killed. Searching Facebook he found a post from Brandon Wolf that said, “Eric and I were there, we got out.” If they were there then other friends might have been there. Drew might have been there. Are they OK? he started to message friends. He had already texted his family to let them know he was OK. When he reached Brandon Wolf he was told, “We got out but Juan has been shot and we don’t know where Drew is.” A friend sent a link to a news clip and it was of Drew’s mother. She was at the hospital trying to figure out where he was. David froze.

Drew Leinonen and Juan Guerrero had planned to have a pool party on June 12, 2016 and they had invited David. He was considering going. The whole day he kept thinking, this is just supposed to be a pool party. The news announced that Juan was one of the first three who was confirmed dead. Juan and Drew’s pictures were being plastered all over the media.

David decided to walk to The Center and he got there around 9AM, then spent the whole day there. He posted updates and let people know where they could donate blood. He managed several Facebook pages that addressed peoples’ needs. At the Center, everyone stood and listened as President Obama came on the TV. He said it was an act of hate and terror. Moran felt some were calling it a terrorist attack to justify militarizing the police and anti-immigrant legislation, all of which he feels does not honor the lived experiences of the people who were victimized by this act of violence.

He left the Center and biked to Ember. He had originally met Drew at Ember. It was hard. Everyone was crying and grieving. There was a candle light vigil. We still didn’t know at that point who had been lost. Nothing was 100% confirmed. David went to Drew’s wake and funeral.

Much later, after the Dallas police shootings, Ida Eskamani contacted him and told him there was going to be a sit-in on gun safety reforms. They wanted to address intersectional concerns around racism, wage inequality, anti-immigrant sentiment, and Islamophobia.  Though he had worked with OPD through Bike Walk Central Florida, and had a good experience with that, he was hesitant to participate in this sit-in. He got to the sit-in just in time to walk in with protestors at 10AM. When he was arrested, he only had the red hat and a red heart in his pocket that you see in the sketch above. He had nothing else. That experience made him aware of the solidarity awareness movement coalition in Orlando. Various organizations sat in solidarity. After most people left, he stayed behind to sit-in with Ida. The sit-in made him realize that he had the power to save himself. The sit-in was largely about politician Marco Rubio‘s inaction. Rubio was confronted by David the next week. The Pulse shooting targeted people he did nothing to help. He used their oppression as an excuse to run for office again. He did nothing for gun safety laws, he did nothing for LGBTQ+ equality, and did nothing to alleviate the oppression of workers across the state.  Rubio was the epitome of the exploitation of the Pulse hate crime. People saw that confrontation. The Advocate dropped the story and it received a lot of coverage. That is when Gays Against Guns reached out to David about starting an Orlando Chapter.

Enakai Mpire

Posted on by Thor

This post discusses the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewees. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously.  

His stage name is Enakai Mpire and he worked at Pulse Nightclub. He grew up an army brat in Fairfax County Virginia near Washington DC. In fifth grade, school recess was canceled because of the DC Sniper who was terrorizing the region. His aunt taught him to walk in a zig-zag pattern to avoid being shot. He was taught to avoid being outside altogether. He had to get from the school to the bus and from the bus to home.

His father worked for the Pentagon and on September 11, 2001 his father stepped out of his office in the army department around lunch time, and that is when the plane hit. Having survived 9-11 his father decided to retire from the military and move to Florida to leave all that behind.

Enakai was 14 when the family moved to Orlando. He loved theater. In 2015 he started working for Southern Nights and then began working for Pulse. He was a shot boy or cocktail server at Pulse. Unlike bartenders, he was able to walk around and serve drinks to guests. He got to know everyone  . There were regulars and tourists, he loved working there. He grew connected to the other shot boys, they were like family. There as also a VIP shot girl. Dancers had their dance dressing room, bartenders seemed connected, and the shot boys had the kitchen. He loved the staff at Pulse.

He worked Wednesdays and Saturdays at Pulse. Wednesdays were college nights and Saturday were Latin Nights. Saturdays were problematic. It got so packed, and everyone was dancing Sensa and Meringue. Imagine trying to navigate that crowd with a tray of shots. He ended up covered in his own shots. It was so hard to walk through that sea of dancing people.

Gay days had motivated Enakai to want to work more nights at Pulse. He had talked to his manager about coming in on a more regular schedule. On that Saturday he had gotten dressed to head out to Pulse. For the first time, his mother stopped him in the kitchen. She said, “You worked a lot this week, you worked outside and are getting sick.” This was true he had worked through Gay Days getting body painted at a pool party and was getting a cold. She wanted to go to Downtown Disney with his father and dance, so she asked if he could stay home with his brother. She never made such requests, so he didn’t go out.

About 2am he started getting phone calls from friends. One was from David who had walked out of the doors at Pulse just about 2 minutes before the shooting started. He left in a Uber and got home and didn’t know what to do. He had heard about the shooting as he was heading home. He didn’t know who the shooter was.

Enakai had just broken up with a possessive boyfriend. Several days before the shooting that X went to Pulse and assaulted an employee. With that in mind Enakai feared that the shooter might be his X. He decided he had to go to Pulse to hopefully calm the situation. David picked him up and together they drove to Pulse. They arrived after the shooting. Everyone was already in the hospital. From the hospital he was directed to the Hampton Inn across the street where concerned family members were assembling. No one had any information.

He turned on Facebook Live and began recording. A form was being handed out, on it there was a spot where you could put a picture of the person you were looking for. He asked people to share photos with him and he sent the picture out into the world via FB Live to see if anyone knew where that person was. He had never seen so many followers before on FB Live. Media began contacting him.

The shot girl had last been seen entering the kitchen at Pulse. He tried so hard to find her. Since he hadn’t been there when the shooting happened, he thought wherever she was is where he would be. It ate at him not knowing where she was. She didn’t answer her phone. He asked about her on FB Live. There were a lot of people looking for her. Someone said she had dropped her phone. He remained hopeful. No one knew how many had died at this point. It was so chaotic. Finally someone wrote back, “She is with me, she is fine.” That news brought him so much joy. He could relate to others who could then tell her family that she was fine.

He continued making connections online. “Your son is OK, he is at this place, go get him.” Then came a point where he wasn’t getting any news back. All that remained were missing people. He had done what he could. About 10:30am a friend showed up with phone chargers for everybody. A lot of phones were dying that night. At this point there was nothing to do but wait.

A sheriff came out with the chief operating officer from the hospital and they read a list of names of the people they had sent home or who were in stable or critical condition. Fifty two people had entered Orlando Regional Hospital from the club. Nine had died on the operating tables. Forty three were alive. There were also eleven people alive at Florida Hospital as well. Enakai turned on his FB Live to record the names as they were read. If a loved one’s name was read then one or two family members could go to the hospital to visit them. By the end of the list, it got real quiet in the room.

One woman finally stood up and said, ” Those names you didn’t read, are you telling me those are the ones that are still in the club? Are you telling me they are dead?” There was no response. A heavy weight settled on everyone. It was like a war zone all of a sudden. People started screaming and punching walls. The people right next to Enakai were looking for their daughter and they fainted. He tried to help the father up. Looking into his eyes he realized he was not there. He had never seen someone go into shock before. He froze not knowing what to do. People were falling all around him. Something clicked on inside of him. He started yelling, “I need an EMT here!” He began commanding people to help. “This person needs water, put that person in a wheel chair.” At that moment her grew up. His entire life changed.

Everyone was asked to leave and return the next morning. But how could they go home, not knowing? He stayed around as long as he could. There was a vigil that night at Parliament House. He went, but was concerned. Here he was again in a club the night after the shooting. During a moment of silence, he could not close his eyes. He looked around for possible treats. He had to go.

The next day family and friends were told to go to the Beardall Senior Center. Once again he went live on Facebook. His Pulse manager said he had to barricade himself into his house because media were trying to get answers from him. So he tuned into Enakai’s feed as well. Media could not get close to the Center. Enakai felt a sense of responsibility to record. When family left the Beardall, every media camera would turn on them hoping to see them cry. The community stepped up. A leader from a church brought volunteers over to protect them from the media cameras. They surrounded the family so they could walk to their cars without being filmed.

For the first year or so after the shooting a lot of staff member were getting tickets for events. Norman who had been held hostage in the Pulse bathroom that night had survived. Enakai wanted to make sure survivors were also invited to events. He started a Survivors Facebook group and invited people he knew who had survived, they invited more survivors and family members. Over time it developed into a large support group. He was able to get Sia tickets to survivors who wanted them. He continued creating events for survivors for healing. He got a tattoo that says, “It could have been me. It could have been you. Don’t forget that.”  He started a group called First Responders Survival Unit. He has worked non-stop trying to help everyone recover. By helping others, he is also helping himself.

Tiffany Johnson Bartending at Pulse on June 12, 2016

Posted on by Thor

There is sensitive content and disturbing details included
within. If you feel you may be affected, please do not read this post.

Tiffany Johnson was bar tending the Pulse Nightclub patio bar on the night of the attack on June 12, 2016. Pulse was a second job, her fun job. She also worked at the Dr Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. She would go straight from Dr. Phillips to her evening shift at Pulse.  She  was introduced to the club by a friend named Ryan who asked her to come see him dance. Ryan also let her know that they were hiring bartenders and she applied for the job. Neema Bahrami interviewed her and she started in 2015 as a bartender on call. Pulse felt comfortable, and she knew Ryan, so it was like family. By June, she was starting to work Saturdays with another bartender on the Pulse patio.

On the evening of June 11, 2016 Tiffany was working at Dr. Phillips as usual. The show that night let out late though she couldn’t remember what it was.  When she got to Pulse, the other bartender was already doing her thing. It was a busy night but not super busy. Fringe had just ended so the night was slow in comparison. She took a cellphone photo of the crowd dancing.

A little after 2 a.m. the bartenders stopped after last call. Tiffany’s computer had broken, so she was sharing a computer with the other bartender. Tiffany texted her boyfriend “Lets go eat.” She went to the bathroom and cut through the VIP area to get back up front. Brian was talking to her as she gathered her sales slips. In mid sentence, as he spoke to her, two shots went off. Then the shots just started. She saw out of her periphery and then ran to the outside corner of the bar. She was frozen. The music was still going. She could hear people running and screaming. Then Ryan shouted, “Everybody out!” She snapped back into reality and ran out, thinking, ‘please don’t shoot me in the back.’ Somebody was running with her. “What the hell is going on?” she asked. “I don’t know, someone is shooting.” he countered. His car was in the parking lot. She shouted at him, “Is this your car?” “Get in the car lets go!” They drove around the neighborhood. She doesn’t smoke, but she started chain smoking his Newport’s. She tried to get him to take her to her friend’s house, but she was too distraught to give directions. She called her boyfriend who was working in a downtown club.

By this time sirens could be heard approaching. They parked at McDonald’s, which is just south of Pulse on Orange Avenue. People were coming into McDonald’s covered in blood. There weren’t major injures, but the blood might have been from other people who had been shot. A bum started asking people for money. Couldn’t he see what was going on? She went off on him. The other person she rode with’s friend made it to McDonald’s to meet them. “Can you just drop me off Downtown?” she asked him. Then she looked down at her hands and she realized she was still clutching her credit card slips. She had been holding them all this time. The friend dropped her off on Garland Avenue and she ran to the Beacham Theater where her boyfriend worked. The bouncer didn’t let her in, at first thinking she might just be some distraught drunk girl. When she saw her boyfriend she broke down and cried. They went back to Pulse together but couldn’t get close. She wanted to recover her car and belongings. The police said to, “Take her home.” She couldn’t sleep that night, it was horrible.

She didn’t have her house key, phone, car, or any of her belongings. Her friends got some clothes for her. She basically lived in her Pulse t shirt for a week. She was helpless and didn’t know what to do. The police interview took about half an hour. They could not let her know when she could get her car and it put her in a really weird place. She finally got a call  that she could pick up her car a week and a half later. There was human matter on the hood. A friend of hers details cars, so they traded cars and he got it deep cleaned for her. Inside some Michael Kors merchandise had literally melted.

It took about a month for the full magnitude of what happened to hit her. She couldn’t go to the Dr. Phillips vigil, she wasn’t ready. That Thursday there was a fundraiser at Southern Nights and that was an emotional night. That Friday they all met a Neema’s house. She did get to the Lake Eola Vigil. Over time she learned who had survived and who died that night. Camping World Stadium assistance wasn’t too complicated, it was just weird that she had to do it. Southwest airlines sent her home for two weeks. On the second day at Camping World, she got her purse back. She had to sketch out where she had been that night.

Orlando had showed up in strength that first week and a half. She felt proud to live here. She was invited with some survivors to Boston. That particular group got very close. The parade was amazing. It was good to get away and finally relax. Sometimes when the survivors get together and start talking about that evening, she just has to remove herself from the conversation.

Barbara Poma invited some of the Pulse staff to return to the building and go inside. Tiffany didn’t have a chance to go back to the patio where she worked that night because someone had tried to break into the building and the area was blocked off. To her, it seemed eerie inside. It did nothing for her. She kind of wished that she just remembered the place as it used to be, but now there was this new memory. Tiffany started bartending again when Pulse employees started holding events at The Abbey. It felt OK because she was with everyone. She has a new family since that evening. That is the best part of the whole shitty mess.

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written permission of the interviewee. Analog Artist Digital World takes the privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously.