49 Portraits at Gatlin Creative.

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On September 24th, the 49 portraits of Pulse victims were on display at Gatlin Creative (4940 South Orange Avenue Orlando FL) about a mile south of Pulse. I drove past the club to the opening. A new colorfull banner now covers the fence surrounding the club. I had just screened my short film, “Finger on the Pulse” at the Global Peace Film Festival. Vicki Nantz had allowed me to share the screen with her 18 minute documentary about her feelings after the Pulse tragedy. The screening was at The Gallery at Avalon Island which has a mini theater on the second floor. We held a talk back after the film that went on for over an hour. It seems everyone needed a forum to express the shock, horror and frustrations about how slow change can be. Vicki and her wife have faced open hatred for being lesbians. Someone actually threatened to kill them. Orlando is home to several well known hate groups. Since Pulse, Orlando has made a shift towards being more open and caring but there is still a long way to go. I was shocked to find myself sharing my thoughts and feelings openly in front of the audience. Both Vicki and I both broke down several times as we tried to express what drove us. Vicki invited down a psychologist to help us moderate. Mallory Vance was back a her parents place in the Mid-west and her description of her small town’s reaction, made it clear that the effects of the Pulse shooting are wide spread. Was the community conversation healing? I’m not sure, but I got to share thoughts that have haunted me, and the incredible love and support in the room was palpable.

As I arrived at the 49 Portraits opening, the sky to the west was ablaze in a gorgeous orange glow with huge billowing clouds. Tiffany Windsor was at the entrance collecting the $15 entrance fee. The 49 portraits filled the warehouse space perfectly in a single row hung clothes line style. The warm evening breeze kept the portraits fluttering as if they wanted to take flight. Channel 2 News was shooting footage for the evening news. I spoke to the reporter on camera and then invited another artist, Bob Hague to do the same. A Japanese TV station and UCF TV also showed up.

Cory James Connell age 21, was the first Pulse victim portrait I did. His parents Tara and James Connell came to the opening along with Cory’s grand parents and sisters. I got to meet the entire family and I’m humbled by their outward show of strength. Tara actually invited me to their home. As I worked on Cory’s portrait, a man looking over my shoulder had related details about the young man that brought him alive in my minds eye.  I am hoping that the Connell family will also share their memories.

People paused in front of sketches and took photos. I could see some getting choked up and wiping away tears. I wanted to meet them all, but also felt they deserved privacy. A young woman took me to the portrait of a dear friend, Luis Omar Occasion-Capo. This portrait was painted by Mitch Scott. She thanked me for helping keep his memory alive. I also got to meet Wilma and her son. Her son’s father, and her longtime best friend and salsa partner, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado was drawn by Betsy Brabrandt. Xavier was the first portrait drawn by Betsy in about 25 years. She was a fashion illustrator in NYC, but when she moved to Orlando, her art took a back seat to raising a family. Wilma talked about how Xavier taught her everything she knows about Salsa dancing. She had never danced in heals but Xavier showed her how. She very well could have gone to Pulse that night but she was tired. How is it that the few artists in attendance got to meet the families of the person they drew. There really is some greater force at work.

The money raised from this showing of the portraits is going into framing the pieces.

History is collected at Pulse.

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Pamela Schwartz, the curator of exhibitions and collections at the Orange County Regional History Center has spearheaded the effort to collect and preserve items left at the Pulse Memorial. She let me know that September 16th was a big day of collection. TV news cameras were there in force. They surrounded Pamela as she explained the collection efforts.

That morning I saw a Facebook post from a citizen who was concerned that the American flags at the site might not be disposed of properly. He wanted a boy scout troop to collect the flags. I can say without a doubt that the History Center Staff know how to collect, restore and preserve better than any boy scout.

Barbara Poma, the club owner was on site to oversee the collection. I have been sitting in on interviews with her employees and vastly admire the way she has supported her staff since the Pulse shooting.

A new silk fence shield has been created that features work from local artists. Amazingly no one told Barbara about this new addition. It is colorful but it will be ripped and tattered by tourists and locals who want to see the building. People have a macabre need to see bullet holes. The new fence will be moved closer to the club so that there is less need for the cement barricades that now are in the road to protect tourists

Items were collected and stored in custom museum boxes. The staff will then clean and restore items as best they can. Of course it rains almost every afternoon, so water damage is prevalent. They also clear away wax, and catalogue everything. Organic items like dead flowers are recycled as mulch in local city gardens. Pamela and her staff are doing an amazing job.

Orlando Urban Sketchers outing to Pulse.

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On September 11th, I hosted a sketch outing for local artists to the Pulse nightclub. This was the site of the horrific shorting that happened on the morning of June 12, 2016 that left 49 people dead and 53 injured from the gun shots of a madman.  The fence that was put around the nightclub has become a memorial where people come from around the world to pay their respects to those that died.

I chose the date because September 11th was the date that 9/11 happened in New York City and September 12 would mark 3 months since the June 12th shooting. I decided to set the time at 6pm since sunset would happen at 7:30 that evening. It would be cooling down and there would be shade from the fence.

I started sketching as soon as I arrived. One other sketcher, Viviana Castro stopped by with her boyfriend.  When you sit with a sketchbook in your lap at a site like this, people consider something of an expert. A man in green military shorts told me that he had visited the site often and he had brought his girlfriend from Ohio to the the site for the first time. “It changes every time I come here.” He informed me.

He shot cell phone photos of the items that he liked the best. As I was rustling through my art bag for supplies, I came across a gold foil butterfly that a fashion designer had given me a while back. For the first time, I decided to leave something behind, and I let the butterfly flutter to the ground. I noticed a ten year old girl writing in a notebook and her dad watched what she was doing. It turns out she was sketching and her dad brought her out to the sketch event. She drew teddy bears, a heart and a church. Beautiful Latina women inspected the site. one wore a tiara. There must be millions of cell phone photos shot of items at the memorial. Two large cable spools formed a shrine in wh7ch wooden panels honored the 49 lives lost. Hours could be spent reading all the notes left behind, but soon it becomes emotionally overwhelming.

Christopher Hansen’s one and only night at Pulse.

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The air conditioner unit had been turned off so we could hear Christopher Hansen (Chansen) talk about that horrible night at Pulse. The heat became unbearable so it was turned back on and Chansen moved closer to the camera and microphone.

“You don’t go out thinking you might not make it out.” he said. “You don’t go to a club to become a rat in a cage.” Being in the limelight has had it’s toll. He has been accused of being someone he is not. Strange online conspiracy theorists claim he is an actor, director named Bjorn Jiskoot Jr. Some people need a life. 

However the city of Orlando’s response has made him realize that this is city is his home. “Orlando has come together with love and unity.” Chansen was told by his father, “You need to find a community, if you don’t have a community who is going to miss you?” Since that night at Pulse Chansen has begun to find a network of friends, his knights of the round table.

Pulse has had such an impact on his life. It was his first time in the club and he was new to Orlando. The benefits and fundraisers still continue although the fervor is slowly dying down three months since the shooting. The money raised however isn’t for survivors who were not shot. It is intended for the 53 survivors who have physical wounds. Most of the attention is turned to the 49 victims, while survivors are largely overlooked.  Some fundraising money is lost in the cracks and will never go to those in need. The number of people who claim to have been at Pulse that night is impossibly high. It is very clear that Chansen was there and he helped others survive. It is impossible to know what any of us would do in that situation. Who knew that a night out could change so many lives forever.

Christopher Hansen remembers the Pulse Nightmare.

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Artists working an a Pulse Mural being spearheaded by Michael Pilato spoke with Christopher Hansen, who goes by Chansen, at around 2am on September 12, the three month anniversary of the tragic Pulse shooting.   Red wine and coffee kept us all up for a 49 Hour Pulse Mural Marathon Project.

Chansen grew up in Ohio. As a 14 year old, he remembered hearing of Matthew Shepard, a student of the University of Wyoming in Cheyenne, who was robbed, pistol whipped and tortured by two men for being gay. Mathew was found 18 hours later by a bicyclist tied to a fence, left for dead. He died two days later from his head injuries. That happened not far from where Christopher lived at the time He moved to Cheyenne from Ohio. Working at TGI Fridays brought him North to Wyoming. Because of that horrible crime Chansen knew from a very early age, that people hated him just for who he was. On a trip to Orlando, Chansen went to Universal Studios and saw beautiful Cherry Blossom trees in bloom beside the pristine lake. He knew at that moment that he would live in Orlando. He resigned from his job in Ohio and immediately moved to the City Beautiful.

At 11:07pm on June 12th, Chansen entered Pulse wearing an American Flag T-shirt. He had never been to Pulse before. He remembers the exact time because a $10 cover started at 11pm. “Come on,” he pleaded. “It’s just seven minutes past, no one will notice.” He had to pay the cover. Being new to Orlando, he just wanted to relax, have fun, dance and hopefully meet new friends. “Everything about Pulse was amazing.” he said. Since it was Latin Night, there was plenty of dancing. Although he doesn’t speak Spanish, music is the universal language. He had some drinks. Towards the end of the evening, he ordered a drink at the bar since it was last call. He sank down into a cushy sofa. He remembers not wanting to lean all the way back because he might tumble over backwards. Then the loud bangs started. He thought that the DJ must have been kicking it up a notch. The guy next to him collapsed. There was blood, chaos and pleading.  Glass shattered behind the bar. He dropped to the floor and crawled on his stomach. If he stood and ran, he would make a big moving target.  He considered the bathroom, but remembered a movie in which a date went wrong and someone had to be rescued from the bathroom. No, he had to get out. “Had I been sober, I might have froze.” he recalled. Chansen’s hand was trampled as he crawled out to the back patio. Once he felt concrete below him, he knew he as out.

On the back patio 10 to 15 people were trying to push open a gate. He is convinced someone was holding the gate closed from outside. Angel was shot down beside him.  He saw Jose Martinez (Junior) lying on the ground, and he reached down and touched his leg, His leg was wet and when Chansen looked at his own hand, it looked like he had dipped it in a bucket of red paint. He threw Junior’s arm over his shoulder and made his way across the street. Shots continued to ring out. He saw the shooter walk and shoot Angel a second time. In the blur of activity he believes there could have been a shooter outside as well as a shooter inside. He never saw the shooter’s face. He left his glasses at home.

Junior wasn’t just shot in the leg. He also was shot in the back. Chansen took off his bandana, tied it in a knot, and shoved it in the hole to slow the bleeding. Outside he also found Alecia who was shot in the arm. Sitting on the sidewalk, he had Alecia lean back in his lap. She just wanted to close her eyes but he kept her alert. He asked her name and asked her questions to keep her focused. He told her, “I’m not leaving you, until someone comes for you.” They were both born in May, and she had also just moved to Orlando from Ohio. She loved lions, so he told her she was a king of beasts. He said “Hakuna Matata” which means no worries, “you will survive this.” It turns out Alecia was also shot in the back. The pressure of his leg on her back wound may have kept her from bleeding out.  Chansen’s blood soaked pants were his first hint of her second wound. She said she was having heart trouble. He hasn’t seen Alecia since that horrible night. He did get to speak to her briefly on the phone to find out that she was OK. Chansen called his dad to let him know he was alive. Gunfire was still ringing out in the background. “We were the lucky ones, most people were shot multiple times. We were all directed to go to the hospital.” Chansen stayed with his charges, fearful that they wouldn’t get the help they needed.  In triage they might be overlooked. Shooting victims were tagged with red or yellow. Yellow shooting victims we loaded into pickup trucks first, since there weren’t enough ambulances. He helped carry Alecia to a vehicle.

That night, Chansen helped save two lives, he is a hero, yet still there are haters and trolls who call him a crisis actor. There are even conspiracy theorists who claim the Pulse shooting is a hoax. These arm chair haters are very much the reason such a horrific act could happen right here in Central Florida. Chansen’s response is, “We celebrate love because hate attacked us. We don’t answer hate with hate.” When he got back to his apartment, his American Flag T-shirt was stained with blood.

Josean Garcia at Hamburger Mary’s

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Josean Garcia and I met at Hamburger Mary’s on Church Street. I
was there first. I didn’t know what he looked like and he didn’t know
what I looked like, but we found each other. Hannah Miller who founded AdoptOrlando, was meeting us as well, but her car got rear ended by some guy rubbernecking rather than paying attention to traffic. She arrived shortly after Josean and I had met.

I was seated by the waitress at a round table in the center of the room. I thought a booth might be
better, but accepted the location offered. He felt
uncomfortable when he arrived, with his back exposed to a room full of people that he
couldn’t see. We moved to a booth close to a back exit door. I felt more
comfortable and so did he. He now always thinks about possible escape
routes anytime he is in a public place.

Josean has experienced an incredible amount of loss. First, he lost his mother, Deserie Garcia, and then on June 12th he lost his best friends Amanda and Mercedes at Pulse. He escaped from the nightclub that evening. “It’s been two months since my best friends , my sisters joined my mother in heaven.” he said on Facebook on August 12th.

Josean is an incredibly talented singer and song writer. His R&B music often addresses the darker side of life. Since the horrible shootings at Pulse, his life has been on hold. He can’t believe this happened in Orlando and that he was there. I love that he feels Orlando has gained a new found “weirdness” along with the
incredible outpouring of acceptance. Rainbow flags are still
seen everywhere. He will
start creating music again when the time is right. He is thinking that New York City could be where he should go to further his career. When we got our wines, he insisted we toast. His grandmother always said
the you should toast anytime you are with friends to celebrate life. We
all need to feel a connection to friends. He knows how to celebrate life while remembering his dearest friends lost at Pulse.

You can donate to the Amanda Alvear or Mercedes Flores GoFundMe accounts if to would like to help.

Pints for Pulse

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Pints for Pulse was a community event that featured beer, art, and music at Festival Park (2911 E. Robinson St., Orlando, Florida). It happened to line up with Orlando Drink and Draw (ODD), so I made it the month’s drink on and draw in destination. Tickets however were $50 and I don’t think any artists of he than myself showed up. This was a craft beer community event that raised money to help the pulse nightclub victims. There were 80+ breweries, food trucks, food tents, burlesque shows, drag shows, and  more, all to help raise funds for those affected by the pulse night club tragedy.

When I arrived, I quickly walked around the entire event. Beer vendors were serving shot glass sized servings of beer. I didn’t get a wrist band since I didn’t plan to drink, just sketch. I stopped as soon as I saw these redefine artists hard at work on a collaborative piece of art. They were paint in on square wooden panels and each artist seemed to be in charge of their own panel. Some panels interlocked. For instance the swan engulfed for of the panels along with a lizard. At the end of the day, the entire painting was going to be given to the winner of a raffle drawing. These artists sweated the in butts off to complete This group mural, So whoever won, was getting an amazing painting for next to nothing.

Steve Parker pulled off his panel, so he didn’t have to work shoulder to shoulder the whole day.

Peace, Love, Pulse. All proceeds from this event went to OneOrlando.

Pulse.

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While driving down Orange Avenue to hang the 49 Pulse Portraits at the Cardboard Art Festival, I passed Pulse for the first time since the horrific shooting. I parked in the SODO Shopping Center where the Cardboard Art Festival is located, an then walked back north to Pulse, three blocks away.

Pulse has become a destination where people from around the world, come to leave an offering and pay their respects. Personally I find the Mylar balloon with hearts for eyes and a smile disturbing. There was a constant stream of people taking photos and reading the names of those lost. A banner had a painting of the Dali Lama that said, “my religion is kindness.” I positioned my set in the only spot with shade from the black fabric that obstructed a direct view of the building. A wooden skid had color paint swatches arranged in a rainbow with the names of the fallen on each swatch. Above the skid, was a tear in the fence’s fabric. People tended to stay clear of me, perhaps thinking I was an attendant, but a few walked up to the tear to peak inside. There was a cooler opposite me show people get thirsty. On the ground, candles were arranged in a pulse pattern. The candles closest to me were flattened from being stepped on. When people first arrive they approach, the skid to red the names. Twice I watch people step on the candles. One girl couldn’t get the hot wax off of her sandals. A sign announced that the Orlando History Center collects Pulse memorabilia for their archives. The decaying scene is constantly changing and the regular afternoon thunderstorms speed up the process. Paper and cardboard signs quickly fall apart.

An hour into doing this sketch, I swear I began to smell death and decay. In my old home, rats would occasionally get caught in the walls, and the smell is quite distinct. Perhaps I was smelling mold on the teddy bears or the smell of wilted flowers, but it definitely smelled like death. Smell is my weakest sense so it must have been pronounced. I have a friend who lives right behind the 7-11 across the street. She said, the bodies were placed behind a fast food establishment, and to transport them, simple everyday vans were used. She remembered the feeling of dread every time a van passed her house. She never counted, but it felt like an endless procession. Fire Station #5 is located one block from Pulse. Some people who were shot, ran to the firehouse, but firefighters couldn’t open the doors until they were given the all clear. With the sound of gunfire, the firefighters could not treat the wounded until police arrived. Once the doors were opened they immediately found bloodied victims hiding from the shooter behind the brick walls of the firehouse. They found a man shot to in the abdomen. They transported him inside firehouse and stabilized him. This relatively calm area soul of downtown Orlando had become a war zone.

Eugene Snowden at One Pulse Sounds of Our City.

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One Pulse Sounds of Our City, was an all day benefit concert for victim’s families of the Pulse shooting in Orlando. Held at Orlando Brewing (1301 Atlanta Ave, Orlando, Florida). Hosted by Shadow Pearson the event featured an incredible line up of local performers.

Eugene Snowden was accompanied by Ben Brown. Eugine kept his set low key to start, but by the end, he was taking the audience to church. He stood and started stomping the stage with his bare feet. It is impossible not to get swept up by the Sheer force of his energy. Even the sketch is influenced by his performance.

It seems like I have been sketching Pulse concerts and vigils for more than a month. The memorials have been removed from Lake Eola and the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts.  Signs indicate that the Orlando History Center is archiving some items for posterity. I have to wonder how much is instead shipped of to land fills.

The 49 portraits created on July 3rd, are now at the Cardboard Art Festival. I hung them very high right below the ceiling. They are over a map of Orlando that has a huge heart to show where Pulse is. Visitors can take adhesive hearts and add them to the map to show the home or office. Driving to the festival I drove past Pulse for the first time since the shooting. A makeshift memorial is set up along the blacked out fence that surrounds the building Orange barricades protect the curious from the endless traffic on Orange Avenue.