The First onePULSE Foundation Town Hall Meeting.

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The onePULSE Foundation‘s first Town Hall meeting was held at the Rep Theater (1001 E Princeton St, Orlando, FL 32803). 400 people reserved tickets to attend. The meeting was a panel discussion exploring why and how we create memorials and museums, and what is involved in the process. Experts from around the country came to share their experiences. Barbara Poma, the Pulse Nightclub owner and onePULSE Foundation executive director, said, “Building a permanent memorial and museum at the site is the most powerful way to pay respect for the lives taken, and to all those affected on that awful night.” The moderator for the night, was journalist Indira Lakshmanan.

Kari Watkins, the Executive Director of the Oklahoma City National Memorial was the first panelist on the left. The event was being held just one week after the mass murder in Las Vegas. She explained that the community memorials had already begun. An empty lot was acquired from the city and 58 trees were planted, one tree for each victim. At the Oklahoma City Bombing site one tree had survived and saplings were being handed out. 168 people died. Initially, the Chamber of Commerce was not on board with the plans for a museum and memorial, they didn’t want their city to be known as the city that had been bombed. The site is now the most visited tourist attraction in the state.



Ed Linenthal is a PhD and author of several books such as Sacred Ground, Preserving Memory, and The Unfinished Bombing: Oklahoma City in American Memory. He explained that the process of deciding what to put on a site is incredibly difficult because you are dealing with an open wound. We need to get rid of psycho babble words like “closure”. People in Orlando will be living along side of the Pulse tragedy for a very long time and that is OK. There is a new “normal”. The process involves many, many people who are very personally involved. Everything is a razor’s edge issue. Should there be 49 hearts, trees, or points of light here?… on and on and on. How could it not be agonizing? Memorials are a protest of the anonymity of mass murder in our times.

Jan Ramirez, is the Executive Vice President of Collections and the Chief Curator of the National September 11th Memorial and Museum in NYC. She explained that the NYC site is an unplanned cemetery. 40% of the close to 3,000 people who died when the towers fell, have no remains. The families never had the comfort of a burial. Our work is never done. Only since the museum opened have many victim’s families decided to share their stories and artifacts.

Anthony Gardner is the Senior Vice President of Government and Community Affairs at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. He became involved after his brother Harvey died in the tower collapse. The process of building a memorial is going to be painful. It needs to be. The reaction to people visiting the 9/11 memorial is universal, they pause and say to themselves, “I am there.” They know it is a tragic story, they know it is painful, but they leave inspired, because this is a story in which the best of humanity responded to the worst of humanity.

Anthony’s brother Harvey loved history. The night before he was killed, he was watching a documentary on WWII. He became a part of the history he cherished just several hours later. Harvey is one of the 40% who were never identified after the towers fell. The family didn’t have anything of his that was recovered. He found himself trapped in that office. The one call that got through to Harvey allowed the family to overhear him comforting his colleagues, who were starting to panic. He was directing people and he was calm and brave in those acts, so the family holds on to that. Anthony values the authenticity of place and setting. He feels some authentic fabric of Pulse should be left behind. Authenticity of place helps people connect that didn’t have that direct experience.

Pam Schwartz is the Chief Curator of the Orange County Regional History Center. “…Typically museums collect, “old stuff”. We  have historical perspective on that… When doing rapid response or contemporary collecting, you have to rely 50% on your training and education, and 50% on intuition, or what we think might be an important historical story…That can change very rapidly. It took 9 years for Orlando to get the title of the worst mass shooting after Virginia Tech. It took just 16 months to give that title to Las Vegas. The history of our event is already changing based on what is happening in Vegas. The question goes from, “How could this happen to us”, to “Is it ever going to stop?…”

Pam explained, a mass shooting is when four or more people, not including the
shooter, are “shot and/or killed” at “the same general time and
location.” This year there have been at least 276 mass shootings in America. That is close to one mass shooting a day. We can’t memorialize every single event, but each time there are people who lost their loved ones, there are emotional and mental scars. Everyone feels the most strongly about the event that affected them. You focus on the stories and try to make it a teachable moment. We are dealing with a lot of different demographics here in Orlando. Our event at Pulse is unique in that it speaks to a broader situation in our world today, in politics an in the fights we are still fighting.


She went on to say that the memorial items come from the community. They are outpourings from the heart. They are often items left because people don’t know what else to do. One thing they collected was a cooler from Pulse. If you went to the Pulse site, you would have seen the big white cooler left by the police. The church down the street kept filling it every day because it is HOT in Orlando. So this artifact was one of support. 

Pam and the History Center staff were out there collecting every single day and  drank some of that water. One day, they showed up and it was just covered in signatures. There were all these signed banners full of love and support, and then people were like,  “What else can we sign?” So they collected this cooler, it is sort of a living history of the memorials. 

The History Center staff also went into the club after the site was released back to Barbara Poma. Pam approached and asked if things could be collected from inside. That might seem a bit macabre, but think of it as Abraham Lincoln’s hat or the artifacts you might see at the 9/11 museum. These are very real artifacts that tell a story. Should they be displayed now or put them on exhibition, no, but in 200 years there will be people who were not here, did not experience it, and it is very real evidence that this event truly happened to people. The History Center also has items from Pulse before this event. Pulse has a very rich history before June 12, it was home to so many people.


In response to a question from the audience about ensuring the process is inclusive, Pam explained that this series of community conversations are the first link to inclusivity for everyone. Everyone should fill out the online Survey for the Memorial. The results of which will become the design brief that will go out to the potential designers for the memorial and museum. This is not a fast process. It takes time, so we have several years to figure this out together. This is at its heart a community event. It happened to us all in some way shape or form. It will be a community conversation and ultimately a community decision in how we move forward. That is why they are starting to have meetings with families of survivors and other community members. Talk to onePulse Foundation members. They want to know what everybody is thinking. They do not have all the right answers for what this can look like or what it should look like right now, but they are beginning the process and want everybody who feels attached to this to be involved.


In other Pulse related news, the City just approved a temporary memorial designed by Dix.Hite + Partners which will add landscaping to soften the area while replacing the fence with more aesthetically pleasing elements. A rainbow colored sidewalk crossing was also approved by the City and already painted into place.  I filled out the survey and it took no longer that 10 minutes. Be sure to fill out the survey as well. Your voice matters, your opinion matters. Help shape the future of the Pulse memorial site. Earl Crittenden offered a quote that pointed the way towards a solution, “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Abe Lincoln

One Orlando Alliance organized an Orlando Vigil for Las Vegas

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The lawn in front of the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts was packed with thousands of people 16 months ago after the Pulse Nightclub shooting. Tears were shed and strangers hugged one another in a truly moving vigil to honor the victims of the nightclub shooting. Days after the mass shooting in Las Vegas, the same stage was erected in the Dr. Phillips lawn to show solidarity and support for that city which is now the site of the largest mass shooting in American history with 58 victims to date. 515 others are injured, so that number may well rise as people fight for their lives.

Pam Schwartz and I arrived a bit early expecting to find the lawn crowded with Orlando citizens who who would show their support for such a tragic event. The lawn was strangely empty. One third of the lawn was a construction zone for the new Dr. Phillips theater being built.  The entire area was surrounded by temporary concert barricades. There was no crowd to contain. A single wreath stood on a tripod in front of the stage. The press huddled together on the walkway opposite me. Desperate for some sort of story, a young reporter asked to interview me, but I explained that I had a limited amount of time to finish my sketch so I couldn’t stop to talk.

The green lawn remained empty the entire time I sketched. I had looked at some of the video footage from Las Vegas earlier that day and recall seeing people running for their lives or lying on the grass hoping not to get hit by the bullets raining down from 32 stories above. The Dr. Phillips lawn, surrounded by humble Orlando high rises, wasn’t much different than the Las Vegas field where concert goers were massacred. One Orlando high rise had several windows blown out from hurricane Irma, just as the Las Vegas gunman had blown out his hotel room window to massacre the crowd below.

Dozens of people showed up to the vigil held in Orlando. Any photos of the vigil show a few people together in closely cropped shots.  Perhaps it was just to soon. The staff at the History Center said that they just weren’t ready to accept or digest that such a horrific incident had happened so soon after the incident at Pulse. Days after the Las Vegas shooting, rainbow flags appeared on all the Orlando downtown street lights. I thought this was in solidarity for the Las Vegas shooting but it might just have been in preparation for the Gay Pride Parade coming up next week.

Someone removed the metal steps that lead up to the stage. A source at The Center said that a permit had not been applied for and thus
no one was allowed to go up on the stage. How amazing that such red tape should
come from a city who had just experienced mass murder 16 months earlier. One Orlando Alliance organizers stated that a radio station set up the stage just for the amplification and they didn’t want any speakers.

Five or six of the 49 angels in action arrived and stood silent in
front of the stage, their fabric wings flapping in the breeze.

 one PULSE Foundation president, Barbara Poma, spoke to the small group gathered from behind the stage. Her online statement read, “Finding words to convey the depth of horror we are all witnessing in
Las Vegas is just impossible. It is unimaginable that another mass
shooting of even greater scope than that of Pulse Nightclub could occur
again in this country, but indeed, it has. We must work harder to stop
these crimes that destroy human life. We pray for those whose lives were
taken, as well as for the wounded and the hundreds who will forever be affected by this monumental tragedy.”

The Orange County Property Appraiser arrived to get his picture taken in a tuxedo in front of a banner which people signed in support of Las Vegas. Mayor Buddy Dyer made a cameo and disappeared quickly. I recognized some of the Pulse family and activists like the Eskamani sisters who truly made a difference in our city following the Pulse shooting. A GoFundMe set up by Ida Eskamani for Equality Florida raised more that 2.4 million dollars for Pulse victims families. With Hurricane Maria causing so much damage in Puerto Rico, many Hispanic activists are perhaps occupied with that cause.

The Vigil held at the Dr. Phillips for Las Vegas was a small gathering by a few of Orlando’s core activists but the impression it left with me was apparent indifference by the community as a whole. The Methodist Church bells rang for each victim of the
Las Vegas shooting. I left disheartened.  The faces of the beautiful people lost in Las Vegas are just now
appearing online. All of those lost have not yet been identified. Perhaps people stayed home because mass murder is now the norm. A mass murder is defined as 4 people dying in a single gun related incident. Close to one mass shooting happens every day in America.

Pam was going to the Savoy to be a Celebrity Bartender. That event would raise funds to help The Center which is a refuge and family for the LGBT community as well as playing an important role in testing and treating sexually transmitted diseases. Sketching that event felt more supportive to an organization that makes a positive change in the Orlando community. Life goes on as social services struggle to stay afloat. I needed a stiff drink. How we memorialize is becoming increasingly important as these shootings are becoming more common.

P.S. Justine Thompson Cowan, one of the events organizers reported that
City representatives were willing to do whatever it took, helped with
permitting, and opened up garages for free parking, spending staff
resources to pull it together. He stayed
until the end and joined with what he estimated to be about 250 people as
they heard the bells toll, the Orlando Gay Chorus sing and spread out
into the audience with their voices that touched their hearts. She felt
solace. She felt companionship. And maybe even a bit of hope.

One Orlando Task Force Announced.

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On May 4th, a small stage was set up inside the protective fencing at Pulse nightclub. A long line of TV cameras was already set up to catch the early morning press announcement.  Getting to go inside the fenced area involved a metal detector and a full search of all my art supplies. The micron pens were inspected closely and as I raised my arms for the final metal detector wand sweep, a photographer shot photos. For the next half hour reporters milled about. I set up in front of a large container of ice. I figured  it might offer some air conditioning as the sun rose higher in the morning sky. I was blinded at first, but knew the sun would rise up behind an overhanging branch that would offer shade.

A chorus sang, Bridge over Troubled Water, Somewhere over the Rainbow, and Seasons of Love. Then Andrea Day‘s voice sang Rise Up, offering hope and inspiration in the abandoned lot. Angels were on stage and at the back of the lot near the TV cameras. Barbara Poma and a board member took to the stage. Several videos gave the crowd a felling for how Pulse had been a place of acceptance and a place where anyone could be themselves. Barbara briefly talked about how important Pulse had been to her. She lost her brother to aids and that loss became the inception of the club’s name. Now that the scene is the site of a horrible loss of 49 lives, Barbara recognized that the site must become a memorial that serves all of Orlando’s communities.

People from around the country are rising up to support this task force. Rock stars and Hollywood actors are among the names that are behind the process of building something that might bring healing to the city. For some reason Cindi Lauper‘s name sticks in my mind. But this morning wasn’t about politics or the of names of celebrities, it was about giving back to the community as it comes to terms with immeasurable loss.  Barbara read a long list of the people she needed to thank for getting the task force to where it is today. I felt pride for friends and co-workers who were on the list. Although the meeting was for the media, it was also for families directly affected by the tragedy.  Each chair in the audience had the name of someone who was a member of the task force, or whose voice might inspire the new creative initiative.

Family of victims, survivors, and first responders are all being given a questionnaire crafted by artist Jefri, that asks their opinions about what they hope to see on the site where the dark empty shell of a building now stands. Questions might range from, What emotional impact should the site leave on a visitor? Should it inspire hope for the future or should it express the loss that the community still feels and will feel for years to come? Should the site have water features, trees, color or be monochrome, how can a memorial best serve the community? An international design competition is being considered to help find the design that will best express what the community feels. All family of victims have a voice, and meetings have begin to set the process in motion. Barbara acknowledged that they are learning as they go and the process will be a long one. Barbara and others went to the 9/11 memorial, and  Oklahoma City memorial to get a feel of what can be done and ask how to accomplish the task. Some of the audio at the Oklahoma site was too hard to hear so soon after Pulse.

This meeting was just the first step on a long road to find beauty and perhaps hope in such a scene of devastating loss.  Outside, at the curb facing the street, three people held a long rainbow banner that said, Gays Against Guns. I considered a second sketch but was l was ready emotionally drained. The fence was again the site of many items left behind by people coming to terms with the tragedy. We are fast approaching 525,600 minutes since the shooting that began
around 2am on June 12th at Pulse, Orlando has rallied and continues to answer the tragedy with love.

Inspiration Orlando Mural to be unveiled at Pulse.

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Mural artist Michael Pilato came to Orlando shortly after the awful night on June 12th, 2016 at the Pulse Nightclub. He and  Yuriy Karabash have been working non-stop on research and development as well
as producing a piece of art with some of the stories of the 49 victims
the survivors and beyond.

Barbara Poma owner of Pulse, announced that on the one year anniversary, the mural that Michael and Yuriy are working on will be on display at Pulse before it goes to a destination not yet decided. Some hand prints and messages will be added. The panels are starting to pull together nicely as a unified whole.

A number of local artists have contributed to the mural.On Tuesdays, artists are invited to the studio above Anthony’s Pizzeria on colonial Drive and Mills Avenue. I sketched as artists arrived. Angel Jones, an arts activist, and owner of a fashion bazaar talked to Michael and committed to return and add elements to one of the panels. Colin Boyer stopped in to paint on one of the portraits he did for the 49 portrait project I had organized. All the artists who participated in that project were invited to work on Michael’s Inspiration Orlando Mural. There was a $100 stipend for contribution artists.

Angels at Pulse.

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December 12th marked six months since the horrific shooting that took 49 lives and ruined counties others at Pulse Nightclub.  Pulse owner Barbara Poma opened the chain link fence surrounding the club to the first time, at 2am for family of victims and then later that evening for the general public to mourn. The angels gathered, holding candles at Pulse along the Orange Avenue length of fence. Purple neon glowed above the entrance to Pulse. Media and passers by shot photos.

One reporter from Channel 13 News, John Davis,  was curious about my digital sketch and he interviewed me the next day as I hung 18 sketches at City Arts Factory that document Orlando’s attempts to heal since the mass shooting. The city will never be the same.

At the entrance there was prayer and then song. One song was Wind Beneath My Wings, which seemed perfect for the angels in attendance.

2:02am at Pulse.

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December 12, 2016 at 2:02am, Barbara Poma, the owner of the Pulse nightclub opened the gate to the fence that surrounds the club. It was exactly six months since the horrific mass shooting that killed 49 Orlando citizens. Friends and family of victims were invited inside for a private memorial candlelight service. A Pulse employee handed out rainbow ribbons to everyone in line. There was a small Christmas Tree outside the had ornaments for each of the 49 victims. As family and friends entered the gate, they had to empty their pockets and then go through a metal detector search. I sat on a stone bench right next to the entry door. In this exact spot I once comforted a friend who had too much to drink about nine years ago.

Cut out stars and candles were arranged on the pavement inside the perimeter in a pulse shaped pattern. Couples hugged each other and everyone stood facing the building. A woman I didn’t know hugged me and said she couldn’t wait to see the sketch. She returned to her girlfriend in the crowd. A purple neon circle illuminated the spot above the entry. We were told not to go near the door since it was alarmed. I returned outside to join the line of TV news cameras. Cory James Connell‘s parents Tara and James Connell gave me a hug and a handshake. Tara said she was doing fine until they got to the club. She looked across the street with trepidation and then they walked across and entered the gate. As I sketched I could hear crying from behind the art decorated fence. Someone was wailing, bereft. My heart broke.

Afterward Tara told me that the six month memorial had been done right. Some memorial items were left inside and a bright rainbow sign was left for Cory. It was all so sad. I gave Tara a hug. She invited me to Woodlawn Cemetery that evening where her son was buried. Three other victims of the Pulse shooting were buried right beside him. A couple was buried to his right and the third to his left. At dusk they were having a service and would release Japanese floating lanterns in his honor. Tara gave directions to the grave site but there were so many twists and turns in the directions that I knew I was going to be lost. She confessed that she gets turned around when she goes. They went to their SUV, but James returned and gave me abbreviated directions. They both waved as they drove away. I wasn’t alone. I love that family.

“When a wave of love
takes over a human being… such an exaltation takes him that he knows
he has put his finger on the pulse of the great secret and the great
answer.”

~Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Angels at the Abbey.

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The Abbey, (100 S Eola Dr #100, Orlando, FL) hosted a red carpet event benefiting the Pulse of Orlando Fund. The evening marked three months since the tragedy and focused on the positivity, love, and inspiration we have seen from around the World. The evening included a Silent Auction, sale of Original Art pieces from around the World, performances by the Orlando Gay Chorus, Evin, and featured performer Brandon Parsons, singer of the hit single “Forty-Nine Times.”

Pulse entertainment manager, Neema Bahrami, was the MC for the evening and Pulse owner Barbara Poma was also in attendance.

This was a VIP red carpet event with limited tickets sold. 
100% of the proceeds for the evening went to the Pulse of Orlando Fund, the only 501(c)(3) nonprofit currently distributing funds to victims.

When I arrived at the Abbey, the Angels were lining up outside to greet guests as they arrived. It was a grey dusk and as I started to sketch it started to drizzle. I ran for cover on the patio. Winds picked up and angel wings snapped briskly, sometimes in other angel’s faces. Finally the light rain became a downpour and all the angels had to take cover. Some angels held their wings in place, while others let their wings flap. Duane Garrett in the bandanna and hat looked like a serious biker. That makes sense since Harley drivers are often some of the most charitable people you will meet. Duane introduced me to his wife Sunshine Garrett and she told me about how they have been wearing the wings to as many events as possible since day 1.  The wings were finally abandoned to the costume racks. The elements had won, but only after a valiant effort. In tight quarters, the wings PVC supports would often get tangled. The best way to maneuver was stepping sideways. One woman stood in the rain alone despite being drenched. The wings must get heavy when wet.

Toward the end of the evening, Barbara Poma, Pulse employees and several survivors lined up on the stage. A woman at the end of the line began to cry and the person next to her put her arms around her. Who had she lost? I felt an incredible love and loss as the room filled with applause. Approximately $4000 was raised for the Pulse of Orlando Fund.

Latin Night, Pulse Fundraiser.

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Wild Side BBQ (700 E Washington St, Orlando, FL) hosted a Pulse fundraiser. Like the night of the horrific event that left 49 dead and 53 injured, this event will have a Latin theme. The funds will benefit employees, and many of them are expected to be at the event. Performers and DJs from the bar will also be on hand, from 5 p.m. to 11 p.m.

I arrived fairly early. Rainbow table cloths covered folding tables that had raffle items in the center of Washington Street. Rainbow flags also adorned every flag pole. The Wild Side slogan is, Peace, Love, BBQ. The crowd slowly got thicker as the sun set. Roxy, a real estate broker, really wanted to get into the sketch. Since the lire word was inked, there wasn’t a spot to place her. My scene was fully populated. She wore a bright pin flower on her shirt and had a matching pink flower  in her hair. People with dog were quite popular, and a photographs staged a photo of children petting 2 dog.

With my first sketch done, I went back to the large stage set up behind Wild Side in the parking lot. The Rico Monico Band was playing. They were playing covers of rock and roll standards. Their set was almost done so I had to rush to get them in the sketch.  I ordered a Bud light to loosen up the lines.

There was a presentation to the owner of Pulse, Barbara Poma, by two openly gay men, Erwynn Umali and Will Behrens, who were the first men to get married while serving in the military.  They had a “color run” at McGuire Air Force Base which they dedicated to
the victims. They brought a rainbow-colored wreath from the run to
Orlando, and a copy of President Obama’s pride month proclamation
signed by all the runners.

More urban Latin acts followed and the sub woofers in front of the stage caused any bones to rattle. Though I didn’t understand the lyrics, the beat was catchy. People were just start: to dance. I walked down the street to Falcon Bar to pick up some art from a show I exhibit in last month. I was pleased to discover that my piece which was a print of an illegal sketch done in Winter Park, had sold. To celebrate, I ordered a lemon infused Shanty beer.