Orlando One Year Later

Posted on by Thor

The Orange County Regional History Center has mounted an exhibit entitled “One Year Later” that showcases a fraction of the items collected from the various memorial sites around Orlando in the aftermath of the Pulse Nightclub shooting tragedy that took 49 lives. The exhibition commemorates one year of pain, grief, loss, love, fear, resilience, coping and community. The exhibit recalls the heroes in our community who banded together in defiance of hate, who support all those who continue to live through the nightmare, remembering those murdered and holding the victims families in our hearts.

I sketched on the final day of the exhibition install. Museum staff were putting up the final vinyl lettering on the walls and making sure everything was in its place. Over 5000 items were collected from memorial sites. This exhibit encapsulated the shear volume of what was left. Rather than showing just one rosary, there are twenty, instead of one t-shirt there is an entire wall. One wall is covered with a sampling of the hundreds of paintings i have done at vigils and fundraisers since that fateful day last June 12th. Also on display are the original paintings and sketches done by local artists in one evening of the 49 victims of the attack. I hosted the evening and felt it was important to do the work in one evening since all 49 lives were taken in one night of terror.

Above the Angel Action Wings, built from PVC and white fabric, there was a quote… “I don’t have money to give, but I can spread love and I can spread hope. I was waiting for the opportunity to use the one thing I do have, which is the skill to sew, I can sew like the wind.” Jeannie Haskett, a theater seamstress and Angel Action Wings volunteer, to the Miami Herald.

I made my way through the exhibit reading every panel, circling the huge room counter clockwise. At the entrance there was a long platform with artificial grass covered in candles, rainbow pinwheels and flowers. The pinwheels spun in the breeze, recreating in a a memorial site in a ghostly way. The room is organized into sections, each honoring members of the Orlando community. There was a wall for first responders, a wall showed the worldwide response and outpouring of love after the tragedy. There were lines of prayer flags, and a floating wall of stars decorated with rainbows and messages of hope. An Ikea couch was covered in messages as well as the water cooler that was filled daily by church volunteers for people who were visiting the Pulse memorial site. In the corner of the room was a gorgeous dress made from a rainbow of hearts. In a secluded alcove, were the 49 crosses that were left at the Orlando Regional Medical Center. All the crosses grouped together in the tight space, left me feeling overwhelmed by the loss.

There was an opening for the families of victims and survivors. It was incredibly well attended. Probably over 500 people attended the opening night. This was an opportunity for families to get out and see items left in honor of their loved ones for the first time. There were 20 therapist at the opening wearing bright yellow shirts that said, Feeling sad? Lets talk. With so many therapists, it must have been difficult to grieve in peace, let alone move around the exhibit. One therapist handed out stress balls any time there were tears. There were also 11 therapy dogs on hand who performed their jobs with honor.

In my sketch, Whitney Broadaway is putting up vinyl lettering that encourages viewers to use #OrlandoOneCollection when posting information about the show online. Her baby bump proves that new life begins as tragedy ends, just as baby Cory Connell was named for his heroic uncle who died at Pulse. A large interactive area encourages people to write notes on a six foot square sheet of paper with permanent markers. Messages of hope and condolences are added every day. The exhibit runs from June 12th to June 17th when it has to come down for a wedding ceremony. This is an incredible, moving and inspiring exhibit, and I encourage anyone who feels they are a part of the Orlando community to get down there to experience it. The museum is open from 10AM to 7PM each day and admission is free.

Angels at Pulse.

Posted on by Thor

December 12th marked six months since the horrific shooting that took 49 lives and ruined counties others at Pulse Nightclub.  Pulse owner Barbara Poma opened the chain link fence surrounding the club to the first time, at 2am for family of victims and then later that evening for the general public to mourn. The angels gathered, holding candles at Pulse along the Orange Avenue length of fence. Purple neon glowed above the entrance to Pulse. Media and passers by shot photos.

One reporter from Channel 13 News, John Davis,  was curious about my digital sketch and he interviewed me the next day as I hung 18 sketches at City Arts Factory that document Orlando’s attempts to heal since the mass shooting. The city will never be the same.

At the entrance there was prayer and then song. One song was Wind Beneath My Wings, which seemed perfect for the angels in attendance.

Cory James Connell, one man can change the world.

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At the six month anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, Tara and James Connell invited me to sketch a ceremony honoring their son at Greenwood Cemetery. Tara’s directions were a bit confusing but James gave me a ballpark approximation of where to find their son’s resting place. The ceremony was to start at 5:30pm but I got there early around 4:30pm. I drove through the cemetery in search of one headstone among thousands. I knew that the site was near the 408 and in a corner of the cemetery under a tree. I circled around the winding lanes multiple times hoping to spot James Connell’s name. A black headstone read Papadakis and gorgeous white sculpture of an angel kept catching my eye as I circled.

Finally I parked and just started walking among the headstones. I was lost. Finding an individual stone would be like finding a needle in a haystack. I was searching for rainbows as a hint that I might be near. There were random sparks of color. New grass outlined some grave sites. Instinctively I walked towards a dark live oak tree that was right next to the road. Amazingly, I walked right up to Cory James Connell‘s head stone.

A football jersey read, Cory Strong. A signed football was at the site. There were Christmas candy canes decorating the site along with red solar powered Christmas lights. Two lanterns with penguins on them flanked the headstone. I was the only person around. I sat down and started to sketch. Behind the head stones, the sky lit up with a stunning vibrant sunset. I was blinded at times staring right into the blazing sun. To the right of Cory’s head stone were the head stones of a couple who had died together at Pulse. Anthony Luis Laurean Dilsa was buried right behind his partner, Leroy Valentin Fernandez. To the left of Cory’s stone was the headstone of Alejandro Barrios Martinez, another victim of the senseless violence. There were engraved photos on each stone. Gorgeous live flowers decorated each site in the granite vases. A burly man with golden shades walked up to Leroy’s stone and placed a bouquet of flowers at the site. He stood in silent thought for the longest time and then left.

After sunset, the family started to arrive. A little girl laughed as she raced her brother. She grew silent when she arrived. Well over 40 people gathered around the stone and lit candles. 49 balloons of every color of the rainbow were brought over. A couple held each other for strength. Headlights glared as cars raced down the 408 access road just beyond the fence. Orlando city skyscrapers were visible in the distance. Everyone was instructed to find a video online that was a tribute to Cory. After a countdown, everyone pressed play and watched. Heaven was needing a Hero, cut the silence. I struggled for some emotional distance and strength.

The balloons strings were untangled from each other and handed out to each person. Markers squeaked messages of love and remembrance. Everyone moved out from under the live oak canopy, away from the grave site for a group photo. With one more countdown, everyone released the balloons which slowly floated up to the stars. Cell phone videos caught the ascent. With the sketch complete, I drifted away among the headstones into the dark to head down to Pulse where prayers and song  continued to honor all who were lost six months ago. I felt sad for love lost but needed to keep moving. It is all that I can do to try and understand.

“Love is stronger than death, even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” – unknown

2:02am at Pulse.

Posted on by Thor

December 12, 2016 at 2:02am, Barbara Poma, the owner of the Pulse nightclub opened the gate to the fence that surrounds the club. It was exactly six months since the horrific mass shooting that killed 49 Orlando citizens. Friends and family of victims were invited inside for a private memorial candlelight service. A Pulse employee handed out rainbow ribbons to everyone in line. There was a small Christmas Tree outside the had ornaments for each of the 49 victims. As family and friends entered the gate, they had to empty their pockets and then go through a metal detector search. I sat on a stone bench right next to the entry door. In this exact spot I once comforted a friend who had too much to drink about nine years ago.

Cut out stars and candles were arranged on the pavement inside the perimeter in a pulse shaped pattern. Couples hugged each other and everyone stood facing the building. A woman I didn’t know hugged me and said she couldn’t wait to see the sketch. She returned to her girlfriend in the crowd. A purple neon circle illuminated the spot above the entry. We were told not to go near the door since it was alarmed. I returned outside to join the line of TV news cameras. Cory James Connell‘s parents Tara and James Connell gave me a hug and a handshake. Tara said she was doing fine until they got to the club. She looked across the street with trepidation and then they walked across and entered the gate. As I sketched I could hear crying from behind the art decorated fence. Someone was wailing, bereft. My heart broke.

Afterward Tara told me that the six month memorial had been done right. Some memorial items were left inside and a bright rainbow sign was left for Cory. It was all so sad. I gave Tara a hug. She invited me to Woodlawn Cemetery that evening where her son was buried. Three other victims of the Pulse shooting were buried right beside him. A couple was buried to his right and the third to his left. At dusk they were having a service and would release Japanese floating lanterns in his honor. Tara gave directions to the grave site but there were so many twists and turns in the directions that I knew I was going to be lost. She confessed that she gets turned around when she goes. They went to their SUV, but James returned and gave me abbreviated directions. They both waved as they drove away. I wasn’t alone. I love that family.

“When a wave of love
takes over a human being… such an exaltation takes him that he knows
he has put his finger on the pulse of the great secret and the great
answer.”

~Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings