After Pulse: Michael Farmer

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Advisory: Please note that this post is about the Pulse nightclub massacre on June 12, 2016. It contains sensitive and difficult to read content.

Michael Farmer work up on June 12, 2016 to a group text message from the CEO of Equality Florida to make sure everyone was alright. The only detail in the text was that there was a shooting. When he got on social media the first thing to pop up on his news feed was live footage from a local news outlet of the scene outside of Pulse Nightclub. The first people in the frame were a friend J.P. Cortez and Drew Leinonen‘s mother. That is when the seriousness of the situation sank in.

Michael was in Sarasota at the time and immediately drove back to Orlando. Back in Orlando Sunday morning he had a conference call with Equality Florida staff. Not everyone got on the call, some were still sleeping. They debriefed and then they started thinking through what roll they could play moving forward to help. They aren’t a direct service agency so they set about to start fundraising. They started a go-fund-me campaign too try and raise $100,000. In the first day they raised over a million dollars. Ultimately 9.5 million dollars was raised. The fundraiser was linked to the email of one of the staff members and she needed to answer all of the questions. The LGBT community was familiar with their work but others were not aware of the organization. There was a lot of scrutiny. The Better Business Borough had to vet them.

They started becoming a clearing house for offerings from people, like someone called and offered bulk burial plots at a Methodist Cemetery. They needed to catalogue all that was being offered and connect with the people that needed it.

They partnered with the National Compassion Fund very early. They helped as the scope grew. The National Compassion Fund responds to the awful tragedies that keep happening in America, they set up fund for each of them. They insure that the victims get all of the money without administrative costs.

He and Ida Eskamani then drove to Jacksonville, because they had a sponsorship event scheduled at 4pm. Despite the chaos they felt a need to stick to the schedule. Once they got there he immediately realized it was a mistake. It was just a two hour event. But it turned into an incredibly emotional event.

There clearly was going to be a large vigil, and there were concerns about safety. The original plan was to hold the vigil at Lake Eola. The Mayor and Police Department didn’t feel that was a safe option. It was becoming a run away train. Equality Florida called the Mayor and tried to get in front of it. That is how the Dr. Phillips Center Vigil came into being. No one could have imagined to many people would show up to that vigil. All this happened in the first 48 hours.

After Pulse: Joe Saunders

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Advisory: Please note that this post is about the Pulse nightclub massacre on June 12, 2016. It contains sensitive and difficult to read content.

Joe Saunders is a former State Representative and a senior political director at Equality Florida and formerly staff at the Human Rights Campaign. He is an Orlando LGBT activist. Pulse opened while Joe was a student at UCF. The club anchored it’s outreach around college students. His roommate became a bartender at Pulse. His first apartment was just a few blocks from Pulse.

Joe was in North Carolina doing political response work. He had worked crazy hours like 15 hours a day. At 2AM his phone lit up with a text chat thread from a group of friends in Orlando. He was till working at 2AM. People were saying something is happening at Pulse. One friend was in an apartment within view of the club.  He kept hearing bangs which could be multiple gun shots.

The text thread search began, who was out and where they safe. After waking the next morning by 10AM he had to return home to Orlando. After a quick plane flight be got to the gay and lesbian center for a press conference held there. The Center is not a huge space. A huge bouncer was a the door directing people. The windows had fogged up. You had to carve your way through all the reporters and cameras that were packed into the room. The space was full to capacity. Equality Florida announced at the press conference that they wanted to do a vigil at Lake Eola.

Plans began for the vigil began right away. The city of Orlando was concerned about security. Could a copycat shooter show up at the vigil? The city ultimately decided the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts would be a safer option and easier for police to defend. Police snipers were on the roof of the Methodist Church and City hall just in case anything went down. Joe was the MC for the vigil. The vigil became one of the most important visual moments of the Orlando community response to Pulse and it came together in 6 hours.

After Pulse: Equality Florida

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Hannah Willard was the Public Policy Director, for Equality Florida. At the one year mark after the Pulse massacre, she released the following statement…

“Yesterday it was our time to march – and now it’s time to turn this March into a Movement. We must ensure the lasting memorial of the Pulse massacre is the real change of uprooting anti-LGBTQ hatred, discrimination, and violence in our culture.
As news broke of the Pulse massacre that claimed the lives of 49 people, mostly LGBTQ and Latinx young people, our shock and disbelief turned to grief and anger. In the hours, days, and weeks that followed people from around the world reached out to ask how they could help. Our answer was clear and has remained consistent: Honor Them With Action.
It’s not enough to mourn those taken from us. It’s not enough to celebrate our collective resilience. We cannot allow the Pulse massacre to be yet another national tragedy. This must be a national turning point that spurs us to new action.
At a moment when some sought to meet fear with fear and hate with hate, we saw a community come together, united in a commitment to challenge bigotry and hatred, not nourish it. A deep resilience emerged from survivors, victims’ loved ones, Orlando residents, elected leaders, LGBTQ people and our allies around the world. People held vigils and fundraisers to directly aid the families of those killed and the survivors and committed to combating hatred of all kinds.
As we think about all the ways in which our world is different one year later, I challenge you to join me in uprooting and challenging hatred of all kinds, and to take action each and every day to make the world different, better, and safer for all of us. We need you to step up and speak out against all forms of violence, be they mass shootings, genocide abroad, everyday gun violence, vandalism at houses of worship, and yes, even hateful words spoken from a pulpit, a pew, or over the dinner table.
The love and support from around the world has buoyed the Orlando LGBTQ community over the last year. Thank you for standing with us to do the work of fully addressing and combating hatred wherever it exists.”

Reverend Kathy Schmitz: After Pulse

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Advisory: Please note that this post is about the Pulse Nightclub Massacre on June 12, 2016. It may contain sensitive and difficult to read content. Post written with narrator’s consent.  

Reverend Kathy Schmitz is from the First Unitarian Church. The church provided grief counseling for many first responders after the Pulse Nightclub Massacre.

On June 11, 2016 an intern at the church as doing the last service. When Kathy got out of bed she felt relaxed and she checked the headlines. She saw that there had been a shooting on Orange Avenue. She did not know Pulse at the time. She thought, maybe this was a drug deal gone wrong. She didn’t know the scale of what had happened.

At 7:45, the intern called and mentioned the headlines. They decided that the intern would start the service and then have the children’s story early which wold open up the service to just the adults. Details were still scarce. The first details about the scale of the event didn’t come out until 10AM and the service was at 11AM. People stated showing up for service early. She monitored things from the back row while the intern gave her sermon.

Logan Donahue is a member of the church and he arranged to connect Kathy with the Center’s director Terry DeCarlo. The blood mobile just happened to be at the church that morning. She called the hospital to see if they needed chaplains but they were covered. Just after 11AM Dr. David Hargove asked if the church could provide space for counseling for a couple of days. The church has six classrooms which could be used. Counseling began at 1PM that day. Dr. Hargrove had 600 licensed therapist volunteers on his list. The rooms were constantly staffed. In some ways it was just as important for the counselors to be there. They helped each other in coming to terms with what they would have to deal with inn the coming weeks.

Donations began to pile up at the church. Food was donated to the coalition of the homeless. The Tom Brady campaign was looking for space, Equality Florida ended up using the library as a community organizing space. The church staff stepped up to the plate to make it all work. On the first night they were warned against having vigils because there were safety issue. In the library people were gathered trying to arrange a vigil for Monday June 13, 2016. The city was saying, ‘Don’t do it.’ Someone dialed the Mayor Buddy Dyer at 11PM. They left a message saying ‘There is going to be a vigil, we need to find a way to make it work.’ The next morning the mayors office called with multiple people on the line and they said, ‘OK we here that there has to be a vigil but give us an hour to find a location.’ The location was changed from the Lake Eola Bandshell to the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts.

Then the media began it’s barrage of interview requests. About 20 church staff and volunteers went to the Dr. Phillips Center to help set up  for the vigil. She was involved with the vigil. She spoke prior to the tolling of the bells. The bells were on a timer. The program was running behind. There was a rush to get her on stage but then they found out the bells had been reprogrammed. It was hot. She wasn’t certain exactly when the bells would ring so she had to time what she said. Improv classes she had takes at SAK helped keep her on track. She asked all gathered to take a moment to reflect prior to the ringing. She felt responsible for holding the space for 7000 people. The ringing of those bells for about 8 minutes was the most intense moment of her life.

Fun Home

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The cast of the New York production of Home Fun presented a stripped-down concert performance of the Tony Award-winning musical as a benefit at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts. One hundred percent of the net proceeds of the performance will go to the LGBT nonprofit Equality Florida and the victims of the Pulse shooting. Half of the money raised will be distributed directly to victims and
their families, and half will support Equality Florida’s work to end
discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

“I think that it’s one thing to raise money, which is important,” said “Fun Home” actress Judy Kuhn. “But I think it’s also important to show up and say, ‘We’re here and we’re here supporting you.” During the introduction, the words, “We are so sorry.” brought back the tears. As the cast walked onto the stage, they got a roaring standing oration.

Based on the graphic novel by Alison Bechel, the show is about a lesbian cartoonist named Alison,  who looks back at her childhood and her sexual awakening in college. Throughout the play, her adult self holds a sketchpad as she sketched the scenes of her past. It seemed appropriate that one person in the audience should be sketching as well. Three actresses perform as Alison. The youngest dreamed of taking flight, and yearned for her father’s attention. The Tom boyish middle Alison intellectualized her sexual confusion until the right girl, Joan, kissed her.  The eldest Alison looked back on her past actions in ever scene often embarrassed by her own diary entries.

The woman seated next to Betsy, was wearing a tuxedo shirt and suspenders. She said, this was the first time she had seen a character on stage who reminded her of herself. The play addresses universal underlying themes of wanting a parent’s acceptance and love only to get their narrow minded ideas of what they consider best. As Alison was discovering she loved women, her father was seeking out young men to have affairs with. As she began to soar, he began to crash. The harsh reality was gut wrenching.

My favorite scene featured  young Alison, Gabby Pizzolo, who sees a woman unlike any she had scene before. The woman was masculine and beautiful, no handsome. For the first time she saw a woman who seemed strong and she saw herself. Her father wanted her to wear a dress and keep her hair back with a beret, but she just saw who she could be. I loved her, for finally loving herself. In a talk back after the show the young boy actor, Zell Steele Morrow, summed it up nicely. You can be who you want to be, and love who you want to love.  The two women seated in front of me held each other close. In the wake of tragedy, love still finds a way in Orlando.

The GoFundMe to help Pulse victims families has reached over 7.3 million dollars breaking all records for the internet startup. Survivors from other mass shootings have come to Orlando to show their support. Some were in the audience. There is no life outside of the need to connect. Theater like this brings a community together and this shared story, about us all, can help us come together and face what we all must overcome, to rise above hate. 

The Pulse Shooting Candlelight Vigil.

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After finishing my first sketch at the Orlando Pulse Shooting Vigil, I wandered through the crowd. People were crying and hugging for support. I wanted to get a sketch closer to the stage. I made my way to the perimeter to get back stage.  Equality Florida set up a GoFundMe page to help victims of the Pulse shooting and it has reached over $3 million since it was opened on Sunday. There has been an incredible outpouring of support all across the country for families affected by this terrorist attack. This page for the victims of the Pulse shooting
is one of the biggest record breaking pages in the fundraising site’s
history.

I leaned up against a pylon and started sketching the stage. I wanted to catch some of the police presence. All the news trucks were lined up to my right down the street.
Pulse workers took the stage and vowed to come back, bigger than ever. “We will not be defeated! We are here to stay!”
The owners then led the audience in a chant of “Peace Love Pulse!”, “Peace Love Pulse!” We chanted louder until it became a unified shout. There was defiance and love as that chant filling downtown.

Most politicians who spoke seemed to be telling the crowd what they wanted to hear. It all sounded so shallow. The words were meant to instill civic pride and bring cheers. At Pulse two nights before, cell phones buzzed in shooting victim’s pockets from loved ones hoping they had survived. The coroner worked tirelessly to identify bodies. One politician who spoke from the heart was Patty Sheehan. She is the first openly gay woman to be elected as an Orlando City Commissioner. I’ve met her multiple times at various events, and she is always open and gregarious. She is also an artist who paints what she calls equality kittens. Often sales of these paintings go to help the LGBT community. Patty spoke about how she had been at ground zero for the past 48 hours. She had seen blood on the sidewalks and desperate mothers wanting to know if their sons were alive. Her voice broke as she described these scenes. She ran out of words, paused, and then said that she had also seen an incredible amount of love and an outpouring of support. “All of you are a shining example of that love.” Everyone shouted their approval and once again I got choked up and had to stop the sketch. She said, “Murderers will not destroy our spirit. I love you, Orlando.”

Candles were handed out to everyone in the crowd, one small flame became thousands. The Methodist Church across the street, tolled a bell for every life lost. The reverberating sound went on and on.  Every new strike became sadder. It rang 49 times. I cry just thinking about that sound. There was sadness and silence through the whole crowd. Vigils like this are happening all across the country. Orlando is not alone. But everyone has to live with their grief alone. Tears sting but don’t heal. Only time and positive change can do that. When Gov. Rick Scott was asked if gun control or restricting access to the assault rifle
used by shooter Omar Mateen would have helped, the Republican governor said that radical
Islam killed the victims of the nightclub, not guns. That attitude is why the Gunshine State is now internationally known as the world’s most violent tourist destination. As the vigil ended, former State Representative Joe Saunders reminded everyone that there are still people in hospitals and he asked us all to take care of one another. The streets of downtown Orlando were then flooded with mourners, many still carrying their candles as they made their way home to loved ones. I went home to write an article before midnight and then I lay on the floor listened to Tibetan healing bowls. I curled up, drained.

Other vigils in Orlando…

  • Baitul-Aafiyat Mosque: 9501 Satellite Blvd, Suite 103, 32837-8445. Sunday 8 p.m. prayer service.
  • Christ Church of Orlando: 2200 South Orange Ave. Open to first responders and workers for rest and prayer. Sunday, 6 p.m.
  • Ember, Orlando: 42 W. Central Blvd., Orlando, 32801. Restaurant/bar holding plans a candlelight vigil for 7 p.m. Sunday.
  • The Experience Christian Center: Prayer vigil at 6:30 p.m. to be
    held at Jones High School. Gov. Rick Scott and other Central Florida
    officials have been invited.
  • Parliament House, Sunday, 7 p.m.
  • St. Cloud City Hall, Sunday, 7:30 p.m. vigil planned near the
    flagpole. Deputy Mayor Jeff Rinehart will lead in a moment of silence
    and prayers.
  • Candlelight Vigil for Orlando, Lake Eola. Sunday, 8 p.m. to 9:30 p.m.