Santa Shortage

Posted on by Thor

Have you been desperate to have your child photographed with Santa this year? Well CNN reported that Santa is fully booked through the Omicron season. The number of trained and available Santas has gone down, which is  another disruption in the supply chain caused by the pandemic.

There are 10% fewer Santas available this year while requests for Santas have more than doubled when compared to pre-pandemic levels.

The problem is that Santa schools are seeing less enrollment. Santa trainees don’t want to travel to the indoor school settings or sit in crowded Santa conferences. Just like health care workers around the country, experienced long time Santas are retiring their red coats. 18% are taking 2021 off.

Being over weight and over 60 years old, Santa is at a high risk category when it comes to getting COVID-19. More than 335 Santa’s have died this year from coronavirus and other ailments, according to Mitch Allen of Hire Santa. Santas these days must show proof of vaccination, and he must take coronavirus rapid test twice a week. Some Santas are fearful of the potentially infested children. With the Omicron variant more children are being infected and requiring hospitalization.

The obvious solution is to have Krampus sit in. He might bite, scratch and breath COVID on your scamp but think of the photo opportunity. Krampus doesn’t give a crap about his own health or anyone else’s health. If your child has not been good, Krampus had the solution.

Santa Vaccinated

Posted on by Thor

Kids across the country are concerned that Chris Kringle, or Santa might not show up this year due to COVID-19.

Dr. Anthony Fauci was on the case.  “I took care of that for you, because I was worried that you’d all be upset,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said. “So what I did a little while ago: I took a trip up there to the North Pole, I went there and I vaccinated Santa Claus myself.”

“I measured his level of immunity, and he is good to go,” Fauci added. “He can come down the chimney, he can leave the presents, he can leave, and you have nothing to worry about.”

If you want to visit Santa at a local mall, that is not a good idea. To practice social distancing, there are virtual options and drive by options should you want to visit Santa.

My concern is weather every Santa in America will be moved to the front of the line to get a COVID-19 vaccine. Are Santa’s considered essential workers as Christmas approaches? There are rumors that the wealthy are hoping to jump to the front of the line by offering bribes. Tens of thousands of dollars are being offered to get a needle jab. Healthcare workers and nursing home residents, are first in line then essential workers and those with chronic health conditions, then, finally, everyone else. Since Santa is 1750 years old he is likely a nursing home resident and at the front of the line regardless.

A new mutation of the COVID-19 virus in England is more contagious and caused Prime Minister Boris Johnson to say, “It is with a very heavy heart that I must tell you we cannot proceed with Christmas as planned.” “There’s no evidence to suggest it is more lethal or causes more severe illness,” the prime minister stressed, or that vaccines will be less effective against it. Families will not be permitted to go to other households to celebrate this holiday season.

In America, as cases, hospitalizations, and deaths continue to increase, the safest way to celebrate the winter holidays is to celebrate at home with people who live with you. Gatherings with family and friends who do not live with you can increase the chances of getting or spreading COVID-19.

“We Want Them Infected”

Posted on by Thor

In newly discovered e-mails, Paul Alexander, a Trump appointee, urged top health officials to adopt a “herd immunity”. “Infants, kids, teens, young people, young adults, middle aged with no conditions etc. have zero to little risk …. so we use them to develop herd … we want them infected…” Alexander added.

A maskless Santa exposed at least 50 children to COVID-19 in Ludowici, Georgia. Mr. and Mrs. Claus posed for pictures with the children and then tested positive for COVID-19 two days later. Some children were justifiably terrified, but many were forced to sit on Santa’s lap.

City officials have advised the children who were at the event to quarantine for 14 days and follow guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). The event took place on the day Georgia reported a record number of new COVID-19 cases.

A 1918 Nebraska newspaper showed a stark contrast at the time. Nebraska was experiencing the ravages of the Spanish Flu which killed, 675,000 Americans. “In Gering, Nebraska, a department store arranged for a visit by Santa Claus in December, but hundreds of children were shocked when police arrested both Santa and the store owner for violating a local ban.” They knew how to knuckle down those days, unlike the soft, misguided, or genuinely evil officials of today.

Today the World Health Organization (WHO) claimed that Santa is immune to COVID-19, just as the infected POTUS declared himself immune since he caught COVID-19 and was injected with Remdesivir,  Regeneron’s monoclonal antibody cocktail, zinc, famotidine, and melatonin and dexamethasone a steroid. Santa must also be hyped up on steroids. Maria Van Kerkhove, who herself has two young sons said, “I can tell you that Santa Claus is immune to this virus,” She continued, “We had a brief chat with him and he is doing very well and Mrs. Claus is doing very well, and they are very busy right now,” she said.