Side Show Bar and Restaurant in Downtown Orlando.

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Side Show Bar and Restaurant (15 N Orange Ave, Orlando, FL) is a bright splash of color that moved into downtown after The Loaded Hog and One Eyed Jacks vacated. The last time I was here, I was sketching the fun chaos as the Packer Backers cheered on their favorite football team. The space has been opened up and filled with every imaginable form of Side Show kitch. Above the bar looms a huge poster of Alexander the fortune teller. Elaborately framed paintings showcase everything from the Fat Lady to the Swamp Gypsy. Exotic Turkish lamps illuminate the bar.

I stopped in shortly after 5pm and a table was filled with co-workers having an after hours drink. During The course of the sketch, one loner came in, placed his baseball cap on the bar and ordered a beer. e ordered a burger and a beer both of which were decent. A large lever on the back wall spins a gaming wheel above the from door which picks exotic drinks like the Bearded Lady.

On another occasion, Terry and I were meeting friends, Amanda and Matt Simantov from out of town along with Matt Rankin. They were in a bar across from SAK Comedy Club, but the place was packed and way too noisy for any form of shouted conversation. A Magic game had just let out of the Amway Arena which explained the crowd. I suggested we go up to Side Show but instead ever one agreed to go all the way to Thornton Park for a quieter spot. The women went off to get their car and the guys walked up Orange Avenue. We passed Side Show which was surprisingly empty. Just a block away the bars were crowded to overflowing and yet Side Show was vacant. Perhaps the large open space isn’t conducive to draw in the crowds. It would have been a perfect place to stop, but we were already commit to the long hike to Thornton Park, where we ended up going to Graffiti Junction.

No More Drunken Monkey

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I stopped off at the Drunken Monkey, (444 N Bumby Ave, Orlando, FL.) to meet Terry before heading to a party at Matt Rankin‘s house which was right down the street. The party was for Amanda and Matt Simantov who had just been married. Matt explained that the celebration was known as Ma’sshe Kanut. Ma’shhe Kanut is a Jewish Custom where friends wish the Bride and Groom Farewell before they returned home to their Seattle homeland.

A Traditional Ma’sshe Kanut is held at the friend of the bride. Ancient Rabbinic Law mandates a Fire to burn from the beginning of Ma’sshe Kanut (1 hour after sundown) until the last guest takes a hint that everyone wants to go to bed. If this is your first Ma’sshe Kanut, it is customary to bring Kosher Yuengling, Kosher Doritos, or Kosher something everyone will like.

Terry was running a little late, so I figured I had enough time to dash off a quick sketch over a cup of coffee. As always people sat transfixed, staring at computer screens, but who am I to talk. I’m staring at a computer screen right now. Jessica Pauli who is a band promoter was having a meeting at the next table over. All that I overheard is that the venue being discussed had a large comfortable green room. I wonder if I had sketched in that greenroom?

Terry arrived as the last watercolor washes were drying. We walked together down to Matt’s house. Matt was in the backyard nursing the fire pit. It was a cold night so I rotated periodically like a pig on a spit. Chairs circled the fire and soon everyone arrived. Marshmallows were roasted on sticks.  I had a stick with multiple branches but I only roasted one marshmallow. Brian Feldman had come from Washington D.C. to witness the wedding and after this fireside chat, Amanda and Matt would fly off to Washington State.

It was toward the end of the evening when I discovered that there is no such thing as a Ma’ssh Kanut. Matt had made up the word. That didn’t detract from the warmth and fellowship of the fire. I no longer go to Drunken Monkey since they used one of my sketches without consulting me on their Internet welcome page. I usually support local businesses but I can’t support theft.

Amanda and Matt Simantov Wedding

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On January 19th Amanda and Matt Simantov were married at Congregation Ohev Shalom Synagogue (613 Concourse Parkway South, Maitland Florida). Terry and I had attended a dinner party as well, but that was on the day of rest, so I wasn’t permitted to sketch. All the men at the wedding were encouraged to wear yamakas which are small caps that just cover the bald spot on a man’s head. Each yamaka came with a hair pin to help hold it in place. I buzz cut my hair, so there wasn’t anything to attach the hair clip to. At the reception before the wedding, I walked around the room like there was a text book balanced on my head. I ordered a soda however and realized that I would have to tip my head back when I drank. A straw would have solved the problem, but I didn’t see any. Whenever I drank, my yamaka would flop off onto the floor.

Plan B. There was a sushi bar. I’ve always found sushi rice to be rather sticky. Rather than eat the sushi I picked up, I dissected it, removing the raw fish and sea weed.  I then took the rice and molded it into a Frisbee shaped disk which I then placed inside the yamaka. I pressed it onto my head and regained my head mobility. As the rice dried, it must have lost its stickiness because just as I entered the Synagogue and looked up at the immense sun lit vaulted ceiling, it popped off again. I sat rice less through the service and avoided tilting my head as I sketched.

Terry and I sat sandwiched between Mark Baratelli and Brian Feldman both of whom claimed that they first introduced the wedding couple. During the service, one of the brides maids must have locked her knees because she nearly fainted and had to be moved to a pew by the brides maids around her. The officiant must have missed all the activity because he didn’t miss a beat.

The reception was also in the Synagogue. The photographer was testing out huge flash umbrellas, one of which war right next to the table Terry and I sat at. The flashes were blinding and constant, so I got up and sat across the room on a couch until the green spots stopped dancing in my vision. Elizabeth Drake Forbes gave a moving speech in which she listed all the amazing events Amanda had attended or helped organize while she was here in Orlando. Amanda had just moved to Seattle to be with Matt and that is where they returned to after the wedding. Amanda hasn’t acclimated herself there yet, so Elizabeth’s speech caused her to cry since she has had to let dear friends go to strike out and create a new life across the continent.

For the first dance, Amanda lip synced to a song by Debbie Gibson titled “Lost in Your Eyes” as she danced with Matt. Couples and friends crowded into a photo booth for regal commemorative shots, and of course there was dancing. When Matt was raised up in a chair for the traditional couples dance, he began to slip forward because the four guys couldn’t support his weight evenly. Terry shouted that I needed to help so I squeezed in and lifted it back up just in time. I wonder what kind of bad luck would have haunted the couple had Matt fallen from the chair. All the guests were given sparklers and they created a tunnel leading to the car as the couple ran from the reception to start their new life as husband and wife.

The Feldman Dynamic

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When performance artist Brian Feldman lived in Orlando, I tried to sketch as many of his performances as I could. Nearly two years ago he moved to Washington, D.C where he has only done one performance piece, a “friend building” experience called “BFF” for the Capital Fringe Festival. I lost all contact with him after the move since my primary interest was always in sketching and writing about his performance concepts. Orlando lost an unusual and unique artist when Brian left, and I lost a major source of inspiration.

“The Feldman Dynamic” was first performed in 2003 and started Brian on the road to becoming a performance artist. I didn’t start following Brian until 2009 when I started this blog. I knew about the Dynamic, but had never seen the original performance which was part of the New York International Fringe Festival. The members of his family have since moved in different directions. His parents are divorced. His mother is a breast cancer survivor and his sister has been married and now lives south of Orlando. Nearly a thousand miles separate the family’s daily lives.

When I got to the Jewish Community Center in Maitland, I had to have my drivers license scanned at the security desk in order to enter. Outside the Harriet and Hymen Lake Cultural Auditorium I saw Brian putting fliers on a table outside the auditorium entrance. He was a nervous ball of energy. I was pleased to see signs that announced “No Google Glass allowed inside the Theater!” No aspect of the performance was permitted to be filmed, but sketching was strongly encouraged during the pre-show announcement. I laughed out loud.

On stage the dining table was being set up and Brian’s mom, Marilyn Wattman-Feldman, was at the back of the auditorium warming up dishes in the kitchen.  Brian’s dad, Edward Feldman, was busy trying to get connected to the internet. He had me flip through a large portfolio full of his art work.  Adrienne McIntosh, Brian’s sister, was trying to get the internet password from JCC security. Brian helped me set up a crude barrier that would keep the audience from noticing me as I sketched from stage left. The resulting structure was rickety and I was afraid the whole time that it might collapse into the audience. Luckily it held up. An old radio was found backstage and placed on Edward’s computer table. Brian let me know that it was the same one from the last show he had performed there, a JCC production of Neil Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs”15 years earlier.  Both he and Adrienne were child performers.

At 7:15pm the house opened and the audience entered. The family walked on stage together and sat down for dinner. Edward spent much of the time standing and serving food. A bottle of sparkling cider couldn’t be opened since no one had a bottle opener. Edward put the bottle on the edge of the stage and said, “I bet the bottle will magically open itself.” Sure enough, Carl from the audience got up and opened the bottle with his utility knife. For some reason Brian was wearing a tuxedo he had rented for Amanda and Matt Simantov‘s wedding. I knew this because he had e-mailed me and asked if I wanted to rent the same tux for the wedding. I stuck with my suit which I discovered had paint stains on the pant legs. I don’t think anyone at the wedding noticed.

Brian is a very private person. For one of his recent performances,he stayed off Facebook for an entire year. It looks like that performance lasted for four months. Then Brian explained that Facebook
only lets events last for four months. Since he didn’t log on to
the site for the entire year, he couldn’t keep changing the start and end
dates to cover the full 12 months. Yet another hangup with the site. I had no idea what life in D.C. has been like for him. The family chatted about films they had seen. Brian has seen tons of films and his mother has seen maybe 2 in the last year. He stood up midway through the meal feeling he needed to make an announcement to is family. His father asked, “Are you getting married?” “Wow, that makes sense”, I thought. Brian let them know that he had been fired from his job. He showed them the letter of termination. They read it in silence but Edward felt Brian should write a letter of apology and maybe he would be taken back. Brian had fallen asleep at a security job at 2am. “Well, they have to understand, maybe you were tired!” his father consoled. The audience laughed. Brian let them know that he wasn’t asking to move back. He is getting unemployment and actively looking for another job. Performance art would have to wait until he got a full-time job. Adrienne had an announcement as well. She got a promotion at Disney moving from one department to another. She was even getting a raise. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

I had a strange dream last night. Brian and I were seated on the ground floor of a parking garage that had been converted into a women’s prison. A woman in an orange jumpsuit had ankle cuffs with a noisy chain and was being escorted up a ramp by an armed guard. Brian was smiling broadly and giving me advice. “You should get a job,” he said. “I work at Full Sail,” I replied. “No, you need to get a full-time job. It has been too long.” It was an odd dream. I have no idea what it means.

After dinner the family stood around the computer looking at family pictures and shots of Adrienne’s dachshund. Before I knew it, they were taking a bow. The audience was maybe a quarter full with most of them being friends and local media. There were plenty of left overs. Edward served me some salad and beef brisket, which was delicious. I topped it off with some apple pie and got back to the sketch. Stage manager Sharli’ Ward was having an animated conversation about Israel with Marilyn. If you didn’t know about The Feldman Dynamic, you missed a personal, unplanned slice of life and some great food! It was theater as life.

Blank Space’s Last Night

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I’ve been to many events at Blank Space. It has been something of a mecca for me downtown. Amanda Chadwick and Mathew Simantov met at Blank Space and they are engaged to be married in Seattle. The place has hosted an endless stream of parties and arts events over the past two years. I’ve been to bad ass dance parties here where the folks in tuxedos across the street who had paid $200 for a political fundraiser wished they were having as much fun. It came as a surprise to find out Blank Space was closing its doors due to unfortunate circumstances having to do with the building owner, and David Charles not being able to afford to relocate at this time. So on June first, there was one more evening of great music, and half price on all the beer that was left (about 1,000 beers).

I arrived straight from work. There were several clusters of people seated at the bar. I ordered Blue Moon and sat down for one more sketch, for old times sake. It was odd and a bit sad that the walls were completely empty. Later that night, artists were going to paint the walls. When I got up to leave, I passed a graffiti artist outside who was taping up the window supports. He planned to paint as many windows as possible. Homeless men played chess on a stoop between Blank Space and the barber shop. For once Orlando felt urban and gritty. The window had been scraped clean of the art in a matter of days.

I passed the deserted space yesterday. Artists had drawn all over the interior walls with sharpies and spots of inspired color.  The once vibrant cultural hub was now silent but the writing was on the wall, as artists search for ways to express themselves in the homoginized downtown.

Decorating the Christmas Tree

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For the first time in years, Terry and I decided to buy a live Christmas tree. Neither of us had seen any tree tents in our travels around town. I did notice a fireworks tent still up on Colonial Drive. I guess they will do a brisk business for New Years Eve. Terry was raised Jewish but she loves decorating the tree even more than I do. The first order of the day was to pack the back of my truck full of old computer monitors, a fax machine and and several dead car batteries. We dropped everything off at a recycling center on McCoy Road. As I drove, Terry asked friends on Facebook where they got their trees. I think Tracy Burke is the one who directed us to go to Home Depot.

A tent was set up in the Home Depot parking lot. When we walked in, the pine needle smell was intoxicating. Terry seemed to think I would be a tree expert since I grew up with the tradition. They all looked good however. We finally settled on a seven foot Douglas Fir. It was a little mushed on one side but that imperfection gave it character. We were given a ticket and we payed inside the garden center. Terry couldn’t resist picking up some purple Begonias, her favorite flower as well. The tree was packed in a tight nylon net. I backed up the truck and opened the back, hoping the tree would fit inside. The trunk was thrust between the front seats almost touching the windshield. When I sat behind the steering wheel, I had to lean against the door. The sweet smell of pine needles filled the truck.

Getting the tree to stand straight in the stand was a chore. Terry held the tree as I tightened the bolts into the trunk. There was no way to check if it was standing up straight. When Terry let go and backed up to take a look, the tree fell over. I realized there were too many branches near the base so she got me some garden shears to cut them away. I tightened the bolts in a second time, having them puncture the trunk in a new spot. This time the tree stood its ground.

Using a ladder, I climbed up into the attic space above the garage where the Christmas lights and ornaments are stored in moving boxes. We unpacked the boxes in the kitchen, looking first for the lights. Foot long strands of green wire and tiny colorful incandescent bulbs fell out on the floor. Something was wrong. I neatly wind the Christmas lights around a red hanger but they were falling away in pieces. We discovered rats had chewed through the wires. I started throwing away the wires that had been chewed through. I tested the few strands remaining and only the last one partially lit up. I lay it out on the floor and plugged it in. Only half the strand was lit. I started replacing bulbs one at a time trying to revive the lights. Those little suckers are hard to take out. After a dozen bulb tests, I gave up, pronouncing the final strand DOA.

We went to a Walgreen’s and got 3 boxes of the old fashioned larger bulbs. These are the types of bulbs I grew up with. I was in charge of putting the lights on the tree. When I was done, I settled back and sketched while Terry put up the ornaments. Amanda Chadwick stopped over with Baxter, her adorable, but skittish Dachshund. It took Baxter quite a while to notice Zorro, our cockatoo on his perch. When he did notice him, his ears bristled and his eyes grew wide as he thought, “Toy!” We were short on ornaments and I had to crawl back up in the attic to recover a box that had been moved by workmen running cables up there. Inside was a treasure trove of old ornaments. Terry would hold each one up and announce, “Oh, look at this one! Oooh!” Amanda napped on the couch with Baxter. We had plenty of Marti Gras beads that came back with us from New Orleans and the Gay Pride Parade. Amanda twisted the beads creating wonderful little stars. She showed me how to do it and together we created dozens of stars. Matt Simantov checked in from Seattle via Skype.

I warmed up a bottle of German mulled wine which was sweet and delicious. When the tree was fully decorated, we ordered a pizza and basked in its warm glow while listening to world beat music.