The Feldman Dynamic

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When performance artist Brian Feldman lived in Orlando, I tried to sketch as many of his performances as I could. Nearly two years ago he moved to Washington, D.C where he has only done one performance piece, a “friend building” experience called “BFF” for the Capital Fringe Festival. I lost all contact with him after the move since my primary interest was always in sketching and writing about his performance concepts. Orlando lost an unusual and unique artist when Brian left, and I lost a major source of inspiration.

“The Feldman Dynamic” was first performed in 2003 and started Brian on the road to becoming a performance artist. I didn’t start following Brian until 2009 when I started this blog. I knew about the Dynamic, but had never seen the original performance which was part of the New York International Fringe Festival. The members of his family have since moved in different directions. His parents are divorced. His mother is a breast cancer survivor and his sister has been married and now lives south of Orlando. Nearly a thousand miles separate the family’s daily lives.

When I got to the Jewish Community Center in Maitland, I had to have my drivers license scanned at the security desk in order to enter. Outside the Harriet and Hymen Lake Cultural Auditorium I saw Brian putting fliers on a table outside the auditorium entrance. He was a nervous ball of energy. I was pleased to see signs that announced “No Google Glass allowed inside the Theater!” No aspect of the performance was permitted to be filmed, but sketching was strongly encouraged during the pre-show announcement. I laughed out loud.

On stage the dining table was being set up and Brian’s mom, Marilyn Wattman-Feldman, was at the back of the auditorium warming up dishes in the kitchen.  Brian’s dad, Edward Feldman, was busy trying to get connected to the internet. He had me flip through a large portfolio full of his art work.  Adrienne McIntosh, Brian’s sister, was trying to get the internet password from JCC security. Brian helped me set up a crude barrier that would keep the audience from noticing me as I sketched from stage left. The resulting structure was rickety and I was afraid the whole time that it might collapse into the audience. Luckily it held up. An old radio was found backstage and placed on Edward’s computer table. Brian let me know that it was the same one from the last show he had performed there, a JCC production of Neil Simon’s “Brighton Beach Memoirs”15 years earlier.  Both he and Adrienne were child performers.

At 7:15pm the house opened and the audience entered. The family walked on stage together and sat down for dinner. Edward spent much of the time standing and serving food. A bottle of sparkling cider couldn’t be opened since no one had a bottle opener. Edward put the bottle on the edge of the stage and said, “I bet the bottle will magically open itself.” Sure enough, Carl from the audience got up and opened the bottle with his utility knife. For some reason Brian was wearing a tuxedo he had rented for Amanda and Matt Simantov‘s wedding. I knew this because he had e-mailed me and asked if I wanted to rent the same tux for the wedding. I stuck with my suit which I discovered had paint stains on the pant legs. I don’t think anyone at the wedding noticed.

Brian is a very private person. For one of his recent performances,he stayed off Facebook for an entire year. It looks like that performance lasted for four months. Then Brian explained that Facebook
only lets events last for four months. Since he didn’t log on to
the site for the entire year, he couldn’t keep changing the start and end
dates to cover the full 12 months. Yet another hangup with the site. I had no idea what life in D.C. has been like for him. The family chatted about films they had seen. Brian has seen tons of films and his mother has seen maybe 2 in the last year. He stood up midway through the meal feeling he needed to make an announcement to is family. His father asked, “Are you getting married?” “Wow, that makes sense”, I thought. Brian let them know that he had been fired from his job. He showed them the letter of termination. They read it in silence but Edward felt Brian should write a letter of apology and maybe he would be taken back. Brian had fallen asleep at a security job at 2am. “Well, they have to understand, maybe you were tired!” his father consoled. The audience laughed. Brian let them know that he wasn’t asking to move back. He is getting unemployment and actively looking for another job. Performance art would have to wait until he got a full-time job. Adrienne had an announcement as well. She got a promotion at Disney moving from one department to another. She was even getting a raise. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound!

I had a strange dream last night. Brian and I were seated on the ground floor of a parking garage that had been converted into a women’s prison. A woman in an orange jumpsuit had ankle cuffs with a noisy chain and was being escorted up a ramp by an armed guard. Brian was smiling broadly and giving me advice. “You should get a job,” he said. “I work at Full Sail,” I replied. “No, you need to get a full-time job. It has been too long.” It was an odd dream. I have no idea what it means.

After dinner the family stood around the computer looking at family pictures and shots of Adrienne’s dachshund. Before I knew it, they were taking a bow. The audience was maybe a quarter full with most of them being friends and local media. There were plenty of left overs. Edward served me some salad and beef brisket, which was delicious. I topped it off with some apple pie and got back to the sketch. Stage manager Sharli’ Ward was having an animated conversation about Israel with Marilyn. If you didn’t know about The Feldman Dynamic, you missed a personal, unplanned slice of life and some great food! It was theater as life.

Relay for Life

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Marilyn Wattman–Feldman suggested I go to the Sanford Zoo to sketch the Relay for Life. My wife Terry arrived before me and I looked for her in the crowd. Tents were set up in the area in front of the zoo entrance where the zip lines are set up. There was a makeshift stage set up and I noticed a llama wearing a diamond studded tiara. A radio personality asked all the cancer survivors to come forward and stand in front of the stage. A large group of survivors, all dressed in purple T-shirts stood in front of the stage. There were young and old alike, people from all walks of life.

The Relay was an all night fundraising walk. The first lap was for the survivors lead by Clarissa the llama. The announcer didn’t realize Clarissa was a llama. “It wasn’t in my script!,” he shouted and he laughed. I saw Marilyn among the survivors as she did the first lap. Children were selling wristbands with passion. Terry and I got some bratwurst for dinner and we watched the girls make up new chants as they tried to sell the wristbands.

For $5 you could go on an evening tour of the zoo with a zoo guide. Marilyn said that the animals were more active at night. Guests were given flashlights with red gels which wouldn’t disturb the animals as much. We saw kangaroos, gators, a porcupine and some monkeys but most animals were either very well hidden or they were backstage asleep. After the tour, Terry left and I started searching for a sketch. I settled on this young zoo employee selling stuffed snakes and letting people know about the zoo tour. The snakes were cheap, like $3, and she sold quite a few. As I started putting in color, the lights all went out. I thought there had been a power failure, but someone finally explained that there was going to be an hour of silent remembrance for friends and family who had died to cancer. Paper bags with candles inside were placed all around the relay track. Some bags had photos of loved ones and many had loving tributes. Even the girls selling bracelets quieted down. It was a solemn, quiet time. The lights all flickered on, and the carnival-like atmosphere resumed. I splashed colors on my dark sketch, losing the gorilla and rhino in the dark of the night.

Marilyn Wattman-Feldman

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Marilyn is a metastatic breast cancer survivor. I joined her when she went to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center for ongoing treatments. She was diagnosed as HER-2 Positive. S This means that there is the possibility that the cancer could return. he returns to the hospital every three weeks for treatments. On this trip she was getting an IV of the targeted drug Herceptin. A nurse explained how the drug works. Hormones are what make tumors grow. Herceptin binds to receptors thus blocking them from triggering tumor growth. Yolanda took Marilyn’s vitals. Marilyn has been to M.D. Anderson many times before. She has already lived through the rigors of chemotherapy. The Herceptin treatments have been working.

There is a small subdural port permanently inserted in Marilyn’s upper chest. This allows for the insertion of the IV tube without any pain. She pulled open the neck in her T shirt so the nurse could hook up the IV. Marilyn outlined the many subtle changes in hospital policy she has seen over the years. The newest policy is that every patient must wear identification bracelets. She feels that the nursing staff at M.D. Anderson are the best. The nurses are skilled and do their work with compassion. Volunteers at the center are cancer survivors themselves and volunteering is their way to give back.

Marilyn’s relaxed demeanor made it obvious that this is part of a regular routine. She was offered a box lunch and gladly accepted. “You should see the bills, of course I’m going to have lunch”, she joked. Having sat through so many treatments over the years, she can quickly see when someone is new to the process. She makes sure to talk to them offering hope and reassurance. Besides the treatments, Marilyn exercises. Exercise is the one thing she can do to personally improve her health, the one thing she can control. She takes Zumba Latin dance classes, aqua aerobics and Tai Chi. She now has a blog that chronicles her fight against breast cancer. As she said, “Everyday in every way I am getting better and stronger.” These are strong and inspiring words to live by.

Chemonologues

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Marilyn Wattman, a cancer survivor, wrote Chemonologues and I went to the first reading of the play at Theatre Downtown (2113 North Orange Avenue). The play reading was supported by a professional development grant from United Arts. When I got to the theater, the front doors were locked. Tommy Wingo was also waiting with a huge collection of sound equipment. He made a cell phone call to Brian Feldman, Marilyn’s son, and was told to knock loudly. Sure enough, after several loud knocks the doors opened. Marilyn immediately greeted us and showed us into the theater. Tommy set up in the center section and I sat down at stage left and started sketching the stage area. I used my time by penciling all the chairs in the proper locations and when the actors arrived I sketched each in ink on a chair. The theater is a dark intimate space and I fell in love with it immediately.
Chemonologues is set up as a cancer survivors support group. Marilyn interviewed dozens of cancer survivors in order to find the different voices in the play. She began as a reporter but over time realized she was personally and intimately involved. During the talk back after the reading, Mr. Feldman got choked up as he described how Marilyn hated going to support groups. He continued by pointing out the never-ending costs of cancer; medical bills keep piling up and there is no way for the family to deal with it.
Several times during the reading characters clashed and disagreed, but overall the play was more educational rather than dramatic. The information is presented in a preachy manner at times rather than being presented through conversation and action. For me, the play ran too long, but I can see the amazing potential in the premise. One audience member pointed out that too many of the characters in the play were in the acceptance stages of the disease. She wanted to see other stages of grief and denial, like anger, bargaining and depression. She pointed out that it would be nice to get more of a feeling of the day-to-day struggles of living with cancer, and how our health care system often leaves survivors up the creek without a paddle.
The harsh realities presented in this play are difficult to face, but I do feel I understand and can empathize more with families that have to live with the disease. Most everyone I know has had their family touched by cancer at some point and yet it is not something that we talk about very often. This play is a diamond in the rough that could still use some more polishing.
Thumbs up to the cast who only read the play once before this reading and to Marilyn who is taking bold chances, and I hope she continues to do so.

ChanuIKEA

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För åttonde natten Hanukkah, Brian Feldman värd en dynamisk händelse med sin mor i IKEA Orlando på 4092 Eastgate Drive. Jag kom några minuter för tidigt och hittade Chris Blanc, Jeremy Seghers och Mark Baratelli väntar inom restaurangområdet i butiken. De diskuterade om de skulle få lite mat innan Brian kom. Jag bestämde jag kunde inte skissa och äta på samma gång så jag väntade. Brian anlände sent. Den grupp människor som sakta samlades gick till ett bord på en lokal vid toppen av rulltrappan där vi kunde se posten vägen till affären. Seth Kubersky i Orlando Weekly sa att förra årets tillställning var mycket lika. För diner Seth beställde lox vilket är en mycket Judisk skålen med svenska köttbullar som säkerligen inte är. När Brian kom han sökte efter ett eluttag för att koppla in sin elektrisk Menorah. Den första kontakten fungerade inte och jag hittade honom ett annat utlopp. Fru Feldman delade ut dreidels för alla och förklarade spelen betydelse. Ett högt tillkännagivande om butiken intercom meddelade att restaurangen skulle stängas i 15 minuter. Strax därefter Brian reste sig och började göra tillkännagivanden av hans egna som översatt från hebreiska till svenska. Låntagare vid andra bord började sneglande över tänkande Brian skulle kunna tala i tungor. Brian leder sedan monterar folk på en rundtur i IKEA talar i hans översatta svenska manus. För att avsluta skissen jag var tvungen att stanna kvar. Porttelefonen meddelade att butiken skulle läggas ned i 15 minuter, så jag började jobba snabbare. När porttelefonen meddelade att butiken var stängd jag fortfarande dröjde tillsätta några sista tvättar. När jag gick ner till första våningen, fann jag gruppen i slutet. Jag frågade vad jag hade missat, och ingen kunde egentligen kan erbjuda en tydlig förklaring. Brian hade separerat från gruppen vid ett tillfälle och de förlorat kontakten med honom. Jag börjar tro att hela poängen med ChanuIKEA var för alla att uppleva semester rusa på turné i ögonblicken innan butiken stängd.