Holy COVID-19

Unemployed Jesus is getting a two day gig at the Holy Land. The theme park has been closed since March of 2020 because of the pandemic. In order to maintain it’s tax except status the theme park must offer free admission once a year. So to save on taxes the park wants to fling open its golden gates for a super spreader extravaganza.

Masks are encouraged inside the park and social distancing is an option as well as limited admissions. However the large crowds that will arrive will not be social distancing as they press forward in long lines to try and get in. It will be a disaster which I have seen play out before.

On April 18, 2020 the park fired 120 employees when it ended its theatrical shows, so local actors other than Jesus are not likely to get work for the two days of chaos. Crowds can crush together into tight rooms to see dioramas and a model of Jerusalem and of course see the holy shark which is thankfully outside.

A spokesperson for Holy Land said there are no plans to keep the park open after the two free admissions days “due to ongoing pandemic and economic concerns.” Therefor it seems odd that they are fine with creating a health hazard for the sake of saving on their taxes.

Bookmark It celebrated Florida Bookstore Day at East End Market.

In conjunction with Florida Bookstore Day’s statewide celebration of
Florida writers and independent bookstores, Bookmark It is (3201 Corrine Drive, Suite 201, Orlando, Florida) delivered a free day-long program featuring nationally published Central
Florida authors, along with three creative writing workshops. Between 10
a.m. to 4 p.m., authors took to the Courtyard stage for casual
readings, Question and answer sessions, and book signings. Three 2-hour workshops were offered to those wanting to engage their creative writing
skills.

When I arrived,  David James Poissant was reading some of his award winning essays and short story’s. His debut short story collection, The Heaven of Animals, has garnered national attention. His second book, a novel, is due out this spring. The writing was crisp and personal describing a relationship that was stretched to its limits. Across the street, there were tree trimmers with chain saws hacking down branches and then shredding them to mulch in a loud chipper. David had to read over the weekend warrior war zone noises.

The next author to read was Lynn Waddell. Her non-fiction book was, “Fringe Florida: Travels Among Mud Boggers, Furries, Ufologists, Nudists and Other Lovers of Unconventional Lifestyles” was the winner for National Book of the Year (bronze- travel essays). I liked her journalistic approach. She sought out Florida’s unique and quirky side. An article about The Holy Land Experience theme park was hilarious. It pointed out that the actor playing Christ could easily double as the model Fabio on dime store romance novels. When young girls talked of surrendering their souls to him, there was more than a hint of sexual innuendo. Lynn’s research lead her to Cassadega, a town devoted to psychic mediums, and somehow she convinced her husband to join her at a nudist colony. I don’t know if I’d sacrifice my clothing for the sake of a sketch and an article, but her humerus writing made me think twice.

Kicked out of the Holy Land

Holy land has been locked in a dispute with Orange County property appraiser Bill Donegan over whether it deserves to be tax exempt. Since it is a “Church” they are required by the government to provide one day a year free admission to the park. In the past the free admission day was never publicized. For those who might not know, Holy Land is an Orlando Christan Theme Park where you can watch singing and dancing Israelis, see Christ drag a cross through the streets of Jerusalem then even watch him get crucified. Having never gone, I figured it might offer some interesting sketch opportunities and for free!

As I drove up to the park I was shocked to see a long line of cars perhaps a quarter of a mile long snaking out of the theme parks entrance and over the I4 overpass blocking traffic. I only had a two hour window in which to sketch so I didn’t want to wait in that insane line. I drove around the block approaching the park from another angle.I saw cars parking in an empty lot across the street from the park and I figured this must be overflow parking.

When I walked through the gates I passed a man handing out park tickets but didn’t pick one up since I only planned to sketch the long line of people waiting in line. The crowd inched forward at a steady pace with the end of the line nowhere in sight. The Star Spangled Banner was being sung inside the park and all the excited activity made me feel like I was at a baseball game. A woman walked past me and said to her son, “Look he drawin!” A familiar song caught my ear “This little light of mine I’m gonna let it shine” I drew to its beat and it inspired me to draw faster.

The police man I was sketching walked up to me and I braced myself, he said, “Look at me, I made your sketch better.” As he walked away he said, “Hey you want some water?” I said I was fine. I probably should have accepted his offer since I was sweating like a wet sponge. I was sitting directly in the scorching Florida sun.

Then suddenly the park gates were closed. The parks capacity was 1,700 people and they were full. Outside the gates the gathering and ever growing crowd pressed forward. Police whistles were blowing constantly as officers tried to get the cars to keep from blocking traffic. A news helicopter swooped in and started shooting footage of the growing crowd. It was starting to sound like a war zone. The officers started shouting that the park was full and there was no point in waiting at the gate. I started to imagine that the pearly gates of heaven might offer a similar scene of confusion.

Later a parks person drove up blocking my view with his huge SUV. He advised that park tickets be offered to the people outside the gate for any day in the rest of October. For some reason the people were then allowed in the gate and then told to exit through another gate. Many people given tickets didn’t speak English, so they started walking toward the parks turnstiles. Park workers had to shout out that the tickets were not good for today, but since the guests didn’t understand, they continued on their merry way. The scene was constant chaos.

When the crowd was finally dispersed and the scene returned to normal, a new Lieutenant was posted at the gates and his first order of business was to get the female officer to tell me to stop sketching and leave the park. I was just about finished with the sketch and I asked her if I could have just 5 more minutes, as I talked to her I continued to sketch. She said, “I like the sketch and if it was up to me I would let you stay here as long as you want, but I have my orders.” I quietly packed up my things. I am starting to feel that I haven’t covered an event until someone forces me to leave. As I was exiting the female officer thanked me and I said “Have a good day.” Inside of course I was fuming. I had a job to do as well.

When I got back to my truck, I found a parks person taking photos of the license plate of the car parked next to me. As I drove off I hoped he hadn’t taken a photo of my license plate and now I am wondering if I will get an expensive ticket on top of getting kicked out of Holy Land! I doubt I will ever want to return to these pearly gates.