After Pulse: Father Miguel Gonzolez

Advisory: Please note that this post is about the Pulse nightclub massacre on June 12, 2016. It contains sensitive and difficult to read content.

Father Miguel Gonzalez, is the director at Saint James Cathedral in Orlando, Florida. After the Pulse Nightclub massacre Catholic priests, deacons and bishops provided pastoral care and leadership to the Hispanic community and the larger community of Central Florida.

When he heard the news, he was dumbfounded and in shock. New York City might be a target, Columbine in Colorado, but Orlando doesn’t seem like a likely target. Disney might one day be a target, but not Orange Avenue in SODO, Orlando. It was baffling.

The night before there was the murder of the young performer, Christina Grimmie, at the Plaza in Orlando. Father Miguel was a Radio D.J. before priesthood, so that senseless murder hit him particularly hard. He was still dealing with that when Pulse happened.

He had written Christina into his homily that weekend, so now Pulse became another overwhelming component. The driving theme remained, which was, how the power of love transforms. How can the community renounce these acts? How do we raise our families in a loving caring environment? This person was clearly mentally disturbed. How can proper care be provided to keep things like this from happening again.

Between masses he got a phone call from the Holy Family parish in Windermere, asking if he could come to the hotel where families were gathered. They needed bilingual priests, pastors, counselors and social workers. Some of these families were flying in from Puerto Rico. He headed over after the Spanish mass at 12:30pm.

There was a lot of chaos in that hotel. There were also a lot of good people ready to support and help.  Their focus was on the victims and relatives who were hurt by this. He ended up on the 3rd floor, with other ministers from different organizations, families would be brought up and into different rooms where they would break the news from the coroner’s office that the body of their loved one was identified.

You could her the screaming and wailing down the hallway. It was painful to listen to. Prayer was his life preserver to keep focus and keep calm. To pray for them. When the doors opened someone would come into the hall and ask, is anyone her for the Baptist denomination? Then that Baptist minister would enter the room. Or they would ask, is there a priest her, then father Miguel would go into the room.

There was a change of plans and everyone gathered in a big room downstairs. The lobby was jam packed. The media was all over the place outside. The hotel wanted to regain some level of normalcy. Miguel was told to prepare for havoc. Because there were so many people jammed into the lobby, he could not hear what was happening, or how the news broke. Comments trickled through the crowd. The message that made it back to him was that they were going to give the names of families who should report to the hospital. The hope then is that their love one is still alive. The move increased hope.

After the names were read, there were still a lot of families crowded together. They were all told the had to come back the next day. That is when chaos erupted. People wanted to go to Pulse. They wanted to go to their loved one. Where were they? Screaming echoed down the commodores. People grabbed their heads, they held one another and cried and then ran out the front doors of the lobby.

He moved to a side door near the back. They wanted to meet the families out front by walking around through the parking lot. Outside the wall of reporters were waiting, focusing on the mayhem. He mingled among the families, ready to respond and embrace. He needed to be present for the families.

One young man was very upset, frustrated and angry. He saw the collar and he was angry at the god that Miguel served. Where is he? How could he allow this to happen? He vented about this God who does not care. What could be said to not aggravate the situation? He told him about a brutal murder a family member in Puerto Rico to let him know that he at least understood in some the way the pain felt. Some common ground was found. They sat together and the young man brought over his family.

The next day Miguel went to the Senior Center. Families gathered, and slowly families went to the second floor where the news was conveyed. By then families knew that their loved one did not make it, but there was the agony of waiting. He knew a couple of the families. He prayed with them and talked to them.

His parish was opened up as a space for Catholic charities and social workers. In 20 years of priesthood this was the most challenging, and difficult event he ever had to deal with to provide healing hope and care. The healing for survivors would not happen over night. How could life return to normal?