Discharge

Posted on by Thor

I had to spend one day in the hospital to be sure the operation was a success. I woke up hungry.I had not eaten for well over 24 hours. The previous night I vomited any time anyone approached me with food since I had a horrible reaction to the anesthesia. That is how the nurse explained it. In my mind however it might have been the thought that they were offering me hospital food which is notorious for being bad.

On this morning however I ate the scrambled eggs and hash browns like my life depended on it. There were 4 vanilla puddings and I ate them as well. Once done, I waited for the doctor to discharge me. He wanted me to walk the hallways to settle all my scrambled organs. I had to build up what he  called flow. My job for the day was to pee into a container and show the nurse. Once I had urinated enough, I could leave.

When I woke up I was attached to a catheter. That is a plastic tube shoved up my flag pole and urine would leak out the tube into a round plastic bag hanging from the side of the bed. My urine was blood tinged. Not pure thick blood red but watered down resembling strawberry Kool-Aid. I also had on lower leg wraps which were heated and they vibrated massaging my legs. I really liked those, and was sad to leave then behind. As I was waiting much later in the day, I put them back on just because I liked the sensation.

I walked the hallway while holding my IV bag full of bloody urine. The back of the bag was opaque, so I turned that side outward so as not to shock the other patients in their rooms. There was a score board to count laps and I think I did about 15 laps around the ward. I just wanted to be sure I was winning on the score board. I was a man with a mission. The catheter was taped to my let so that there wasn’t too much tension pulling on my James Dean as I walked. I kept my hand on that tape as I walked to be sure it stayed in place.

The doctor came in to remove the catheter. I dreaded the process. He approached my business nonchalantly with scissors. I shut my eyelids hard as he snipped a bulb off a plastic tube. Then with one quick yank he pulled the tube out of me. It is like ripping off a band aid. the faster you do it the less time you have to react in horror. I was also removed from the IVs at 6am. I was now free to move about. It was strange not being concerned with tubes hanging out of me.

I drank bottle after bottle of water but only an agonizing blood red dribble leaked out of me in the bathroom. Maybe the escape tunnel had collapsed. My sister Pat called and she was on her way to the hospital to pick me up. I let her know it could be some time, but she insisted. I drank many more bottles of water, while she and I chatted on the couch. It seemed any time the nurse came to check on me I was in the bathroom. Pat relayed the messages. Finally I started peeing like a race horse. The burning was still there but less so. By the time the doctor approved my discharge, the sun was about to set.

Pat drove back to Yalaha, with Just Jim navigating. I lay in the back seat. I managed to last the whole drive back without having to take a pit stop. That in itself was a miracle. Back at the studio, I discovered that someone had stolen my iPhone charger from the hotel room. The charger was held together with black electrical tape so it wasn’t a great loss. Amazingly my wallet was untouched. Pt found me a new charger the next day at Dollar General.

My sister Pat was staying at the studio for a few days to be sure nothing went south.

Tech Romance

Posted on by Thor

While on a long road trip my iPhone would not take a charge. I was using Google Maps to go to a location deep in the Florida back roads, an hour and a half from where I am renting a home.

The red warning blinked on, saying “low battery. I had no idea if my phone would have enough battery to get me to my destination before blinking out and becoming a useless brick. I had an iPad but it was useless since it needed a Wi-Fi connection to show the maps. If the phone died, I would have no maps, and would not be able to call my friend for directions. I have grown so dependent on the pleasant voice of my female navigator. I stopped in a Dollar General parking lot and quickly wrote out the remaining series of directions on the back of a sketch. Sure enough the phone shut down after driving a few more blocks. My pencil notes got me to where I needed to go.

I conducted a virtual art class from what felt like a peaceful country cabin on my iPad. The trip back would involve even more twists and turns but more pencil notes got me home. Actually before going home, I stopped at the Apple Store in Millennia Mall. The place was packed. Clearly everyone’s charging ports had failed at the same time. I sat at the Genius Bar and a tech quickly helped me out. He took the phone out back to find whatever had clogged the port. I had spent hours trying to clear the port myself the night before with a toothpick, but every attempt failed. I kept plugging the phone in, hoping it might miraculously decide to charge.

While I waited for the tech to come back out with my phone, I sketched. It felt good to have this low tech option to record the moment. Pencils never run out of charge and they never crash. The tech brought the iPhone back out and plugged it in. I kept sketching while the phone charged. Thankfully there was no cost for clearing the port.

Back out in the parking lot, I plugged the phone back into the car charger. I turned on Google Maps and set a course. The first thing the pleasant and familiar female voice said was, “Head North to Conroy Road.” Sigh… She understands my every navigation need. She had me at “head”.