Alex Barr, Pulse Survivor

This post is from a personal account about the shooting that took place at the Pulse
Nightclub on June 12, 2016. It contains difficult content, so please do
not read on if you feel you may be effected. 

This article and sketch have been posted with the express written
permission of the interviewee. Analog Artist Digital World takes the
privacy and wishes of individuals very seriously.

Alex Barr, from Atlanta, Georgia, is a survivor of the mass shooting at Pulse Nightclub. He was a friend of Darryl Roman Burt II (DJ), who was a victim that night. They first met in college, and in 2016, DJ had just graduated. His ceremony was to be at the Orange County Convention Center. They arrived in Orlando the Friday before with friends and DJ’s family. They always supported each other. After the graduation there was a party with some of DJ’s cohorts, that is when three more of their friends showed up, Fred, Antwine, and Javád.

When they got back to the hotel, it was late and the three friends wanted to party. Alex was tired, having partied the night before and he just wanted to recover. DJ felt the same way. They tried to convince their friends to go out the next day, to just chill. Somehow they ended up going to Pulse Nightclub. He had been to Pulse about 3 years before. This was his second time there, so it felt familiar to him. Alex was surprised there was no pat down at the door. It seemed like a lot of Latin music, but they were having a good time.

Alex remembered saying on Snapchat, “I don’t want to be here.” He turned to DJ and said, “You fine?” and he said, “Yea, Yea.” They weren’t supposed to stay long, at most 10 to 20 minutes since DJ’s family was flying out the next morning at 5AM and he wanted to see them off. It was lively on the main dance floor. Alex, Antwine, and Fred were in the main dance floor and DJ and Javád went to the bar. Fred bumped into two people he knew. As they were exiting the main dance floor to get to the bar area, they sat for 5 or 10 minutes, getting ready to walk out.

The disc jockey said, “Last call for alcohol!” They were seated in chairs with their back up against the wall. They were trying to rush Fred, “Lets wrap it up, we have to go.” DJ said, “Are you all OK? I’m going to get this last drink. I just want to be sure you are all alright.” Alex said, “Yea, we’re good, we’ll be here.” About two minutes after he left they heard POP, POP. That’s when it began.

Alex, Antwine, Fred, and Javád were all in tune when they heard the sound of gunfire. Alex thought “Oh, somebody’s fighting, someone may have shown off and pulled out a gun or something.” They thought it was contained, because security was right there, there was a cop right at the door. But they heard POP, POP, POP, POP, the repetition of it. “OK it’s time to go!” They got up to get Fred and DJ, and that is when they saw the traffic, the rush and the screaming coming. They got shuffled down the hallway. Fight or flight kicked in. At that point Alex lost sight of Fred and Javád. He remembered that DJ was at the bar and hoped he was in this group of people. He forgot that there were two other exits from the main dance floor.

As Alex moved down the hallway he blacked out, a blur. He found himself in the hallway bathroom tucked back behind the main sink. Adrenaline pumped and the cadence continued, he could feel and hear the gun, the bullets getting closer and closer. Some people went in the girl’s restroom and Alex went into the men’s. They barricaded themselves in the handicap stall. Alex heard Antwine pounding on the door shouting, “Let me in! Barr let me in, damn it!” So he let him in. Everyone got down, hyperventilating.

For a moment they thought they were fine. It stopped. The next thing they knew there were bullets and the smell of the gun powder. That is what he remembers the most, the smell, not the sound, and trying to contort himself to get as far away and out of sight of what he had seen, everyone who was hit. He was wrapped around a sink, a tiny sink. In that moment he discovered what his body could do to try and survive. Antwine was right there with him.

They could hear the gunman across the way in the other bathroom talking, chatter, but then executing afterwards. Clearly they would be next, the best they could do was act like they were already gone, hide under some of the bodies and try to keep those who were injured as quiet as possible.

The gunman didn’t come across. He was talking, saying something about pledging allegiance and something about the flag. At that point they started texting families, “Goodbye.” Alex sent one to his mother, brother, and sister giving them his last words. He was sure the shooter was going to come, peak over the stall, and finish the rest of them off. But he didn’t. Alex told Antwine, “If God is real, this is the time, if these angels we were praying to exist, this is the time. I love you, its been a good ride, I guess this is it.” Alex texted
DJ who responded “I’m scared, I’m still in the building, don’t make any
noise.” He let DJ know he was in the bathroom, but DJ didn’t let him
know where he was.

He stayed contorted around that sink for an hour. He was expecting to die. Yet he didn’t. They began to whisper in the stall, and Javád’s head popped up out of nowhere. Alex and Javád texted Fred and DJ. “Did you make it out? Are you OK? Where are you?” Fred sent a text back that said, “Yea I’m fine, I made it out.” Then Alex texted Fred, “What about DJ?” Fred texted back, “Yea He’s fine.” The signals on their phone began to get spotty.

So it was just the three of them left, Alex, Antwine and Javád. DJ was good to go. Everyone was calling 911. Javád ended up on the phone with an investigator. They wanted pictures and a description of what was in the bathroom. How many were in the stall. There were 19 of them counting those who were expired outside the stall. Alex got advice on how to treat the injured from the emergency management person on his cell. She said she was a nurse. She said apply pressure. Their main goal was to keep people calm. They were respectful of the dead as well.

Another man, Angel, was able to crawl out and get to safety. The police yelled, “Get down! Show us your hands!” Angel yelled, “No it’s me, I’m OK!” They were able to get him out. They were happy, but the rest of them were not going to take that risk. At this point the gunman knew they were in the opposite bathroom and that some were alive. It had been 4 hours.

The investigator on the phone with Javád was prepping him, but withholding some information, perhaps to avoid tipping off the shooter. They learned that the shooter said he had bombs and planned to blow the place up. After all this, they were still going to die in an explosion. Another hour went by. Eventually they got wind of a rescue plan. They were going to blast a hole in the wall, and warned everyone to get down. There was a BOOM in another part of the building and then another BOOM. Later Alex learned that this was to distract the shooter so he didn’t know where they planned to get people out.

Then there was a huge blast against the cement wall of their bathroom and cement flew everywhere. A pipe burst with water spraying. They yelled for them to stop and they did. A machine was used to hit and hammer the wall. They called out, “You need to stop you’re crushing us, there is nothing but cement falling on us.” The head of a swat member looked in and yelled, Get out, Get out!” He had a gun pointed at them. They were still in shock. Those that were more mobile were hiked up and taken out.

They ran. All that could be seen were flashing lights, and people screaming, “Keep your hands up, get down, Keep your hands up!” There were a bunch of guns pointed at them because the police could not be sure they weren’t the shooter. The questioning began and Alex began to ask his own questions. “Where was DJ?” He looked around and tried to call. Well, DJ texted earlier. “Why wasn’t he texting now?” There were stories of people rushed to the hospital. Maybe DJ was in the hospital.

That is when Alex learned about Fred. Fred attempted to run with the crowd towards the restrooms. He exited the bathroom and tried to make a run for it and was hit critically in the arm. He had to have about 15 surgeries and was, at the time of this interview, at 85% with the use of his arm and hand.

No one could account for DJ but they remained hopeful they would get news later. They had to stay until the sun came up and then were bused to the police station for additional questions. They were soaking wet from the burst pipes and blood. In the main lobby of the station they were separated into two groups depending on which restroom they had been in. They were asked for personal information. The detectives leading the effort were very professional and sympathetic, which helped put everyone at ease. An officer drove them back to their hotel where they showered, but could not rest. They watched the news.

The next day they got Antwine’s car but didn’t have the keys for DJ’s car. They went to every hospital in Orlando looking for him. His mom, dad, and grandmother went to the Orlando Regional Medical Center where family members waited for news. They tried to be as proactive as possible. He had to be OK because of Fred’s text. Maybe DJ was one of the John Does? That evening, Alex saw DJ’s name scroll across the TV screen in the hotel room. He sat there for a moment, numb unable to react and then lost it. DJ had just graduated, a huge milestone for him, and now he was gone. His last words to Alex were, “Are you OK?”

Orange County Regional History Center Auction

The Orange County Regional History Center is getting a major redesign in the next few years with modern digital interactive displays and is basically being overhauled from head to toe to improve the experience. Several months ago the large ceiling mounted display in the lobby was dismantled. Alligators, manatees, huge mosquitoes, and other Central Florida flora and fauna came down. The manatees were sitting in the loading bay for the longest time.

The History Center decided to hold an auction to sell off items from the old displays to help raise money for the multi-million dollar renovations and improvements they are planning. This was a sketch opportunity I could not miss. The room was packed when The History Center’s chief curator, Pam Schwartz, and I arrived. I immediately tucked myself away behind some tables set up to hold items in the auction. To my right was a large steam engine train. To my left was a Conestoga wagon, some camping vehicles, a mermaid, some mastodon tusks, and a model of a theme park water slide.

I had seen this auctioneer in action before, he was highly polished and kept the action lively. The bidding was fast and furious. In the aisles were people who would yelp whenever someone bid. The guy closest to me had a thick New York accent and he was hilarious and gracious. The lots wold be sold as groupings, for instance, if you wanted a manatee you needed to buy three manatees. If you wanted a pink flamingo, you would have to buy 5 flamingos. The museum for some reason had quite a few antique toy robots. The cheapest item of the day was a set of golf clubs in a bag for only a dollar. Patty Sheehan bought a hilarious looking green frog wearing a crown modeled after a character at Weeki Wachee Springs State Park. Brendan O’Connor brought home an antique robot.

After the bidding on the larger items, everyone who was left gathered at a back table to bit on smaller items. It was fun to watch as people struggled to take home the large items purchased. A wife scolded her husband for trying to carry a five foot model space shuttle all on his own. The women who brought the manatees, gators, and some large metal leaves were planning to create a Florida themed back yard pool area. The leaves would function as decorative access block for an outdoor shower. She and her partner were just out running errands at 7-11 when they decided to go to the auction.  Having never been to an auction before they were surprised with all they brought home.

As a fundraiser the auction turned out to be a huge success. Pam pitched the idea as a joke at one of the meetings since they thought most of the items should have been thrown out. Now they are being tenderly refurbished by their new owners. Two large Corinthian columns and the 4 foot high flamingos remained behind as the auction space quieted down. People must have planned to pick these items up later when they had a large enough truck to transport them.

White Rabbit, Red Rabbit

The Ensemble Company in residence at Penguin Point Productions (1700 Oviedo Mall Boulevard, Oviedo, FL, 32765) presented White Rabbit, Red Rabbit written by Nassim Soleimanpour.The set was just a small card table with two glasses of water, some chairs, and a step stool. The empty bookcase had a tiny penguin on the top shelf. The internationally acclaimed play is an audacious experience and a potent reminder of the transitive and transformative power of theater. Beyond that, I can not say any more.

The premise is simple…

No set.

No director.

A sealed script on stage.

A different performer each night.

The Orlando performers were, David Lee, John DiDonna, Beth Marshall, and Roberta Emerson. I experienced the incomparable performance by Beth Marshall. As a reviewer, I have been sworn to secrecy. The plush white rabbit on the show poster might be deceiving. This was definitely a play themed for adults.

I can say that there were 50 people in the audience and I was audience member number 20. Beth pulled a POTUS saying she wanted to count for herself, since she needed to know that she had more audience members that the two previous shows by David and John. I wrote that number on the sketch in case it was important. After the show, I was told by people who had seen multiple interpretations, that Beth managed to linger and stretch the play a half hour longer than the two previous performances. She had a knack for letting the words sink in.

I can say that after the play I had an amazing in-depth conversation with Ed Anthony. Both of us recounted memories of people in our lives whom we wish we had helped more. This heated personal exchange was clearly fueled by the thoughts triggered by the theatrical experience we had just been through. We were left with a desire to step up and help others in this trying experience called life.

Weekend Top 6 Picks for August 17 and 18, 2019

TSaturday August 17, 2019

Noon to 6pm Free. Mexican Gastronomic Festival “Ven a Comer”. Lake Eola 512 E Washington st, Orlando, Florida 32801. Come
out and celebrate the best Mexican food festival known to Florida! The
Mexican Consulate in Orlando and LCHA host our 5th Annual Mexican
Gastronomic Festival! We will have all your Mexican favorites Tacos,
Elotes, Aguas Frescas, Guacamole and so much MORE! This is our 5th year
show casing the best Mexican food in Florida, represented by many of the
beloved Mexican restaurants here in central Florida! We want you to
come celebrate with us! You won’t want to miss the Guac contest and
Margarita contest!

4pm to 6pm Free. Hoodstock Saturday Market. The Barefoot Spa 801 Virginia Dr, Orlando, Florida 32803. The Hoodstock Saturday Market is no ordinary art stroll. 

7pm to 10pm Free. Black Cow Jumps into the Winter Garden Heritage Foundation. Heller Hall Winter Garden Heritage Foundation 21 East Plant, Winter Garden, Florida 34787.

Black
Cow Jumps – Orlando’s Experimental Theatre Project in association with
the Winter Garden Heritage Foundation explores theatre through reality
in a mindful and sometimes comedic portrayal of the characters we play,
as we try on the shoes of maturity. Human Improv. Life’s Soup.
Complimentary wine, cheese and crackers!

Sunday August 18, 2019

10am to 4pm Free. Lake Eola Farmers Market. Lake Eola Park, 512 E Washington St, Orlando, FL 32801.  

Noon to 3pm Donation based. Music at the Casa. Christine MacPhail. Casa Feliz Historic Home Museum, 656 N Park Ave, Winter Park, FL 32789. Members
of the public are invited to visit our historic home museum on a Sunday
afternoon to listen to live music and take a tour of our historic home
museum and the James Gamble Rogers II Studio by trained docents.
 

10pm to Midnight Free but get a coffee. Comedy Open Mic. Austin’s Coffee, 929 W Fairbanks Ave, Winter Park, FL. Free comedy show! Come out and laugh, or give it a try yourself.

The Battle of Townsend’s Plantation Civil War Festival

The Battle of Townsend’s Plantation Civil War Festival took place at Renninger’s Mount Dora Flea Market and Antique Center (20651 US-441, Mount Dora, Florida, 32757.) This live
Civil War Re-enactment featured living history exhibits, folk music, weaponry
demonstrations, authentic camps and Sutlers, full scale artillery,
cavalry and soldiers in time-period uniforms, weaponry, a Civil War era
Dress Ball, and more.

I always feel at home sketching in a Civil War camp since my analog way of documenting the scene with a sketch fits in with the time period. I remember while doing this sketch a young boy in uniform stood behind me watching my progress. He frowned and was very serious, but was quite transfixed. The folks in camp needed to get ready for the battle taking place later in the day and the boy was called away for a cannon firing drill.

Later that day, we sat on the sidelines as the battle unfolded. There were so many rebels and so few Union soldiers. In the end the rebels took the field which was covered with the bodies of the fallen. It was a bloodless massacre. A surgeon’s tent was littered with limbs that had been amputated. Fortunately, those limbs were plastic replicas. Today in America we are terrorized by the sound of gunfire. These muskets took quite a bit of work to reload, requiring minutes of stuffing the powder charge down the barrel and setting the flint. Soldiers just stood and fired at one another. Today, we run because high powered assault rifles fire hundreds of rounds per minute. The internal wounds from assault rifles are something no civil war doctor could ever have faced.

Orlando Artist Critique at Barefoot Spa

The Orlando Arts Critique run by Parker Sketch is a monthly meeting where artists and people interested in participating in the local art scene (curators, gallery owners, event coordinators, art appreciators, and anyone else interested in art) gather and talk about art.

It is free and friendly.

The format is that there is an open invitation to participate as a “showing” artist. There is enough time to talk about approximately 15 artist’s work at each session. It is encouraged that the art is very recent, or is relevant to the artist’s current work.

The artists gather as a group of peers, regardless of age, medium, experience, or art genre. There is usually space for an additional 15 participants that aren’t showing art. So there is usually about 20 to 40 people attending this event and talking about all the art.

The primary goal is to have meaningful, positive, and helpful discussions about what the artists are working on. Networking, socializing, and learning about art opportunities in Central Florida is encouraged. The goal is to elevate everyone’s productivity and exposure through helping each other.

Central Florida is exploding with a vibrant art scene. There are so many people doing amazing art that often the people in the art community aren’t aware of what is happening around town. Any artist of art appreciator is always invited come and attend one of the sessions. The Facebook event invitation is usually posted about 2 weeks before the event, and registration through the Facebook invitation is mandatory to make sure that we have enough time and space to respect all of the participants. Join the Orlando Art Critique Facebook Group to stay up to date. The last critique was August 5, 2019.

Steampunk Industrail Show at Renningers

I grew interested in the Steampunk Industrial Show at Renningers Mount Dora Flea Market and Antique Center (20651 US-441, Mount Dora, Florida 32757) when I found out that Phantasmagoria
would be appearing throughout the day. Phantasmagoria is a local theatrical troupe that presents
unique and spectacular blend of storytelling, dance, large
scale puppetry and aerial work, fire performance, live music and stage
combat. Phantasmagoria has been wowing critics and audiences alike
since its premier. First created in 2010, each production
offers new stories taken from the diverse centuries old literature of
horror and the macabre.

When Pam Schwartz and I arrived at Renningers, we made our way immediately to the main stage which is decorated with a large electric guitar.  A musical act was on stage and Vera Vermillion held a Parasol Dueling contest. The contest was as comical as might be expected. Contestants would stand like ace sword fighter and their weapons were parasols. I sketched a lovely contestant in a black bowler, corset and umbrella. She ended up being the winning contestant.


After the dueling, a Steampunk DJ started to mix the tunes for the crowd. The sky was turning grey and I kind of wished we had brought a parasol from our car parked a distance away. As it started to sprinkle we dashed towards the car finding any possible cover along the way. when we got to the car the sky opened up and it poured. There must be a steampunk invention that can protect from the rain.

The Mikado: A Concert Version

On opening night of the Mikado, The Orlando Taiko Dojo demonstrated the traditional art of Japanese drums known as “Taiko.” Taiko
drums were used in battlefields and have been used in religious
ceremonies and festivals for over 2,000 years in Japan. Besides learning
the techniques of playing the drums, students learn about other
essential values in life like respect, manners, concentration, tenacity,
and teamwork. I had sketched them before. So I saved my sketching for the Mikado performance. Producer Theresa Smith-Levin and Nicole Dupre did an incredible job making this a cross-collaborative experience, with a historical exhibition by the Orange County Regional History Center, as well as art adorning the lobby.

The Mikado by Gilbert and Sullivan is a fun, lighthearted opera about romance in ancient Japan. Nanki-Poo (Bryan Hayes) arrived in Titipu disguised as a peasant and looking for Yum-Yum (Tamir Hernandez Rosa), a young girl he fell in love with several months earlier. However, she was already set to marry Ko-Ko (Stephen Cauley). Naki-Poo, in his despair, contemplates suicide. Ko-Ko persuades Nanki Poo to let him behead him instead. To clinch the
deal, Ko-Ko even agrees to let Nanki-Poo marry Yum-Yum, providing he
agrees to be executed in one month. However, Ko-Ko can’t kill anything, not even a fly.

This
production had some modern twists with references to Facebook and
Puba, first lord of the treasury, lord chief justice,
commander-in-chief, etc (John Segers) references his grand
ancestry discovered with some help from 23 and Me. Through
collaboration with the Asian American community in Orlando, Central
Florida Vocal Arts in partnership with Space Coast Symphony Orchestra
used this work as an opportunity to celebrate Japanese art and culture
via this satirical work.

Directed by Asian American director, Kit Cleto, with support from veteran opera director Eric Pinder, this production teambrought creative comedy to the stage through an outstanding cast. Nicole Dupre had hand painted many of the costumes. The lavish amount of work was astonishing. I got to see her handiwork up close on her own dress, as well as one on  Theresa Smith-Levin, afterwords in the lobby reception. Nicole’s grandmother was in the audience seeing one of her productions for the first time.

My favorite funny moment in the show came when an exuberant dancer (Geoff) leaped with balletic grace while waving a red ribbon, and an old man (Ian Campbell)
followed him waving the same type of red ribbon like it was a soggy wet
noodle, reflecting his dour disposition. There was humor and joy in the
performance, and despite the difficulties and conflicts, life seemed worth
the joy of living before our final bow

Sketching at Subways

This summer I have been teaching at Elite Animation Academy (8933 Conroy Windermere Rd, Orlando, FL 32835). One of the classes was sketching on location. My main goal was to get students excited about carrying a sketchbook everywhere they go. Students were in the range of 11 to 15 years in age. The challenge with some of the younger students and even the older students was to get them to look up from their digital devices. It is disheartening to see how disinterested most students are in things other than packaged digital entertainment. My mantra became “You have to look to see.” Most students just sit and watch their hand put lines on a page finishing an abbreviated notion of what was in their head.  My uphill battle was to get them to look up and spend time to look at the world around them.

One student was particularly stubborn in that he would turn his back to the subject I had assigned to sketch, and never look up preferring to reproduce a stiff anime character he had drawn many times before. I had to play the part of the bad cop shouting about the wonder of being fully connected with the world when sketching. It was a battle of wills as I fought for his creative soul. I kept at him all morning and just before lunch he relented and started to look up. When I was maybe 11 years old I knew I had a talent, but felt it was never fully utilized. I knew where this student was coming from and sweet kindness was not the remedy.

After lunch my class went to Subway to sketch. he sat off on his own in the one good spot for getting a view of people ordering sandwiches. I explained that he should draw people as they came in to order sandwiches but he would only have a few minutes before each person walked off with their purchase. He was suddenly excited and fully engaged in the process of drawing from life. He recognized the challenges and excitement of trying to catch a moment in time. From across the room I sketched him as he had this awakening. He created an amazing sketch that afternoon with expressive figures
ordering food. He added astounding detail right down to the hair on
their arms. They were angular and fluid in just the right measure and
for the first time perspective tied the scene together.

The next day he relapsed a bit by again falling back on drawing the stiff Anime figure. After lunch we again went out to a restaurant to draw. Again he stepped up his game and focused for the entire two hours. He was drawing a man a table away as he ate his sandwich. That man became curious about the sketch and asked to see it. He then offered my student a $10 gift card. My student was incredibly thankful and cashed in the card for a soda and sweet treat. On the drive back to the studio he was extremely excited about the prospects of drawing on location. It was a joy to see him ablaze with the desire to sketch.

On the next day he again relapsed into sketching the same stiff Anime figure. Now that the class is over he needs to decide for himself if he wants to be excited about the everyday events that happen around him. He also expressed a desire to be a doctor which is a fine ambition. I left him with a quote from Mary Oliver that I hope he takes to heart…

“Instructions for living life, Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”

Glimpsing the Abyss

The Orange County Regional History Center (65 E Central Blvd, Orlando, FL) hosted Karen Osborn a research zoologist and curator as she talked about the small creatures found in the oceans. Her fascination with invertebrate zoology was contagious. She works primarily with deep sea animals. Which means collecting these creatures for study is always an adventure.

These creatures don’t live on the sea floor but in  the mid-water. These creatures come in amazing shapes and forms. They are unusual and unique. It was a glimpse int the weird forms alive in our oceans. All these creatures are refereed to as pelagic which means they spend their lives swimming. Some are single cell organisms resembling amoebas while others resemble armored military vehicles with spikes and hard forms. Many are transparent and gelatinous. Amphipods resemble insects with strange eyes and odd appendages. Many of these creatures ancestors once lived on the sea floor and they gradually moved up into the water column.

Karen is largely interested in the wide diversity of life to be found floating in the ocean’s water column. Her focus is on Natural History, as in how these creatures are similar and how they are different. She studies biodiversity, taxonomy,  and morphological variations. Most of her research is done in collaboration with the Monterrey Bay Research Institute which has two ships and two remotely operated submersible vehicles. The submersible is tethered to the operating ship at all times and the pilot and scientist sit in a control room in front of a wall of monitors watching what is happening in the deep sea below. The vehicle has 14 different cameras along with collection devices like a suction samples and a detritus sampler. An animal can be collected without it even realizing that it has been collected. There are over 25 years of oceanographic video that has been archived from these missions.

New species are being discovered like a strange and exotic squid worm
that had many legs that propel the creature through the water. These creatures have amazing ways of adapting to their deep sea existence. For instance the need to smell is more important that the sense of sight so highly sensitive noses have developed with thousands of hair like cells extending out into the water column. This allows them to sniff out food from far away. Any science fiction designer could learn so much from studying these amazing creatures of the deep sea. This was a fun opportunity to sketch creatures I had never seen before.