After the memorial service for my step-mom Ruth, at George Washington Memorial Cemetery in Paramus New Jersey, the families went to Napa Valley Bar and Grill in the Garden State Mall for a luncheon. Everyone had on leis and Hawaiian shirts in honor of Ruth’s many trips to Hawaii. I sat across from Loretta and Ken the children from Ken, Ruth’s last husband. My dish, salmon over a bed of rice with asparagus shoots was delicious. I can smell the dish now, just thinking about it. Desert consisted of sorbet, a small cheese cake and a chocolate cookie. Everyone was given a Mai Tai, which is a pink sweet Polynesian drink. My step-brother, Wayne, stood up and offered a toast. He explained that Mai Tai means “good” in Polynesian. He assured everyone that Ruth most likely was given a Mai Tai when she got to the gates of heaven. I never considered the possibility that heaven might be an eternal state of inebriation.
After the Luau, I had to convince Terry to rush off to Pearl Paint in order to get a watercolor kit. The store was just a few miles up the road and I found a really nice kit with 24 colors. I am sure to use it often. One color, Peach, has already made it into the last couple of sketches.
When we got back to the hotel, we found all the Thorspecken and Bradley children sitting around the downstairs bar. There was no bartender. Instead, everyone had bought down their own six packs and they used the bar’s glasses and ice. There was some joking about Ruth, who probably would have frowned upon this scene. Yet in life she regretted not being able to bring these two families together. When her strong will was taken, both families mourned and in s0 doing, her memory brought everyone closer. I overheard Terry saying Ruth made the best Christmas cookies she had ever tasted. I sat across the room in a comfy sofa and took in the scene.
Ruth’s Interment
Terry and I flew to New Jersey to go to my step-mom Ruth’s interment. My father and mother are both buried here as well. The entry gates of the George Washington Memorial Cemetery are imposingly large. We drove up to the main office since I figured we would need a map to find Ruth’s plot. On the steps of the office we ran into Walter, Juanita, Cindy, Gail and Ben. Like us they were all about an hour early. Juanita already had a cemetery map so we decided to follow them. We all relaxed in the shade and waited for more people to show up. Walter pointed out a huge regal falcon that was perched on a dead tree branch. I shaded my eyes and scrutinized the falcon as he looked at me. When enough relatives and friends were on hand, Walter got into his PT Cruiser and started driving to the burial site.
We followed in our rental car. Walter drove around for sometime and when we found ourselves back where we started, we realized he might be lost. After another lap he stopped and Juanita got out. She walked up to a small pile of dirt and shouted back, “This is it.” I walked out and took a picture of the headstone. Rather than standing upright, all the headstones in this cemetery lie flat which allows for easy mowing and gives the cemetery a very open, park like feel.
Everyone at this memorial service was dressed in Hawaiian shirts and leis , since Ruth loved to visit the Hawaiian Islands. The memorial was sweet and to the point. The priest began by reciting the lords prayer, followed with everyone singing “Amazing Grace.”
Suddenly a large flock of geese flew over the proceedings no more than ten feet above our heads.. It reminded me of jet fly bys at a stadium. A small boom box played Hawaiian tunes. Ruth’s ashes were held in a small pink plastic handkerchief box sized container. The hole dug for the container was only about a foot deep. Walter said it cost $600 to dig that hole. When the service was over, the Thorspecken children walked in search of their parent’s grave. It was about 100 yards away in the shade of an old Oak tree.