För åttonde natten Hanukkah, Brian Feldman värd en dynamisk händelse med sin mor i IKEA Orlando på 4092 Eastgate Drive. Jag kom några minuter för tidigt och hittade Chris Blanc, Jeremy Seghers och Mark Baratelli väntar inom restaurangområdet i butiken. De diskuterade om de skulle få lite mat innan Brian kom. Jag bestämde jag kunde inte skissa och äta på samma gång så jag väntade. Brian anlände sent. Den grupp människor som sakta samlades gick till ett bord på en lokal vid toppen av rulltrappan där vi kunde se posten vägen till affären. Seth Kubersky i Orlando Weekly sa att förra årets tillställning var mycket lika. För diner Seth beställde lox vilket är en mycket Judisk skålen med svenska köttbullar som säkerligen inte är. När Brian kom han sökte efter ett eluttag för att koppla in sin elektrisk Menorah. Den första kontakten fungerade inte och jag hittade honom ett annat utlopp. Fru Feldman delade ut dreidels för alla och förklarade spelen betydelse. Ett högt tillkännagivande om butiken intercom meddelade att restaurangen skulle stängas i 15 minuter. Strax därefter Brian reste sig och började göra tillkännagivanden av hans egna som översatt från hebreiska till svenska. Låntagare vid andra bord började sneglande över tänkande Brian skulle kunna tala i tungor. Brian leder sedan monterar folk på en rundtur i IKEA talar i hans översatta svenska manus. För att avsluta skissen jag var tvungen att stanna kvar. Porttelefonen meddelade att butiken skulle läggas ned i 15 minuter, så jag började jobba snabbare. När porttelefonen meddelade att butiken var stängd jag fortfarande dröjde tillsätta några sista tvättar. När jag gick ner till första våningen, fann jag gruppen i slutet. Jag frågade vad jag hade missat, och ingen kunde egentligen kan erbjuda en tydlig förklaring. Brian hade separerat från gruppen vid ett tillfälle och de förlorat kontakten med honom. Jag börjar tro att hela poängen med ChanuIKEA var för alla att uppleva semester rusa på turné i ögonblicken innan butiken stängd.
Lotto Pool – Brian Feldman
I traveled to Miami Beach to see Brian Feldman’s first performance there. Brian sat in the lobby of the Carlton Hotel in South Beach 1433 Collins Avenue. There he sat at a small table decorated with Lotto playslips. The goal of this performance was to pool $1 from as many people as possible and then purchase the number of tickets corresponding to the number of people who entered the pool. The hotel owner had reservations about allowing Brian to stage his performance here. He was concerned that it might seem like Brian was selling tickets right in the lobby. Brian had to keep a low profile to keep from being booted out.
This same evening, there was a Pool Art Fair being held in the hotel in conjunction with Art Basel Miami Beach. Art Basel Miami Beachis a huge art fair with gallery owners from around the world displaying their wares. Much of the best art work in the world is flown into Miami for this event and it it almost impossible to see it all. Terry and I both gave Brian a dollar and had to sign a “Lotto Pool” agreement. If one of the lotto tickets purchased won then Brian would purchase a piece of art from the Pool Fair or a parallel fair of Art Basel Miami Beach and he would divide the work by cutting (if a canvas or paper) or breaking (if sculpture or mixed media) the purchased art into the number of pieces corresponding to the number of individuals in the lotto pool.
Part of me wanted to win and another part didn’t want to win. I didn’t want to be a part of destroying a great work of art and yet it might be fun to see some bad art cut up. A friend told me a parable about two women who went before a king both claiming to be a baby’s mother. When the king could not get to the bottom of the issue with just questions, he decided to cut the child in half and give each woman half. One woman pleaded and said she would relinquish her claim if he spared the child’s life. The king then knew she must be the true mother. With that in mind, I let out a sigh of relief when Brian sent me an e-mail informing me that none of the lotto tickets purchased had won. At least I got a decent sketch.
The Singing Menorah
Brian Feldman had been ribbing me for some time about all the Singing Christmas Trees sketches I have been posting here on Analog Artist Digital World. At an 8 AM Meeting of MOOM (Meeting of Orlando Minds) on Friday, Brian suggested he might stage a performance of the Singing Menorah at the Track Shack which is at 1104 North Mills Avenue right in the area where I planned to host an Artists and Writers Crawl. He pointed out that Track Shack had one of the few storefront Hanukkah displays in Orlando. The Crawl was only a day away but Brian managed to throw together a stellar performance. He had help from Omar Delarosa who co-wrote many of the lyrics and performed on guitar. Knowing the times of the stops along the Crawl route we agreed that he could start his performance around 8PM when the Crawlers were moving from the first stop, The Peacock Room to the Second stop, Wills Pub.
The Crawl developed a glitch from the start, when Tisse Mallon and I arrived at The Peacock room to find that it would not open for another two hours. I wrote a note and stuck it on the door so other Crawlers would know to go to the second stop, Will’s pub. Because I wandered around and introduced myself to all the people who arrived at Will’s, my sketch was not a very focused. When it was time to wander up to the next stop, I was still splashing watercolors on the sketch. Other crawlers headed out but I kept working. When I arrived at Track Shack where Brian was to perform, there were a crowd of Crawlers sitting in lawn chairs on the sidewalk looking into the storefront window. Omar was playing guitar. At the appointed time Brian walked out having to squeeze in the space between the plate glass and the display wall.
The performance was hilarious and fun. New Hanukkah lyrics had been written for a number of pop tunes. The Menorah that Brian was sporting consisted of cardboard tubes wrapped in tin foil. There were Hanukkah cards leaning up against the storefront window and for some reason a small Mickey Mouse sat watching the audience. Emma Hughes handed out dreidels to everyone in the audience when Brian sang a dreidel song. For the final number, Brian called in his back up dancer named Willoughby Mariano. It seemed most appropriate that she had a cast on her left leg from her foot up to the knee, but she still performed and gave a new meaning to the saying, “Break a leg”. Later, Emma handed out sparklers and when the performance was over everyone lit them up and the lights and sparks danced. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a sparkler since I was still scratching away in my sketch book.
Several times, cars stopped dead on Mills Avenue to see what the excitement was about and several cars honked. However, my attention was sharply focused on the show. This is without a doubt the greatest Singing Menorah performance I have ever seen. Well, yes, it is the only Singing Menorah performance I have ever seen. For the remainder of the Crawl I heard people commenting on how surprised they were that Brian had such a good singing voice. Brian truly gave the Singing Christmas trees a run for their money.
Seven Deadly Sins – Sloth
The Cameo Theater on Colonial near Mills was the venue for an Emotions Dance Company event called Seven Deadly Sins. When I arrived, the first thing I saw in the theater’s plate glass windows was Brian Feldman who sat on a worn and tattered recliner staring at a TV which was showing nothing but static. Brian had a remote control, but for this 30 hour performance he was personifying Sloth so he never had the ambition to change the channel. There was also a fake aquarium with animated fish swimming about. I immediately sat on my portable stool and started to sketch. Several times people passed by that I knew so I paused for a moment to say hello. A drummer set up camp right next to me, leaned over and asked “Hey, I love your stool. Any chance I could borrow it?” I was working so I had to say “No”. He began putting out plastic buckets of varying sizes and before I knew it he was banging out a very loud beat. He must have banged on those cans for close to an hour and I found it hard to concentrate. I probably rushed this sketch a bit since I wanted to get inside away from the noise. If Brian noticed the drumming, he never showed any interest, he just stared listlessly at the static screen and ate Cheerios.
Tisse Mallon, who organized the event, came outside and said to me, “Brian is very proud of the Game of Life that is in the foreground. He replaced LIFE with SLOTH“. Feeling a bit slothful myself, I hadn’t even noticed, so I went back and added that detail to the sketch. Inside the theater, there were semi-nude dancers painted to represent the 7 deadly sins. I spent some time trying to figure out which sin each represented. They moved in slow motion constantly gesturing in an abstract sinuous ongoing performance. There were also staged acts throughout the night. This was a fun event and sketch outing.
Walking Impossible
Orlando had been named the worst city for pedestrians in cities of at least a million residents according to a report issued by Transportation of America called Dangerous by Design. To focus attention on this problem, Brian Feldman plans to walk across the 12 most dangerous intersection in Orlando.
When I arrived at the corner of West Colonial Drive and Pine Hills Road, Brian was at a crossroads, literally. I could see his bright yellow reflective vest from a block away, and as I approached Brian was on his iPhone and walking away from the intersection. When he saw me, he started walking towards me. We spoke and he was considering giving up the project which would involve his walking across this intersection 51 times which is the number of people who had been hit at the intersection in the past two years, 5 people died crossing the intersection. He plans to walk across 12 other intersections over the next week. The number of people hit in the intersections culminates on December 1st with 110 people hit at the corner of Silver Star Road and North Pine Hills Road, with 11 people killed.
By the time I arrived, Brian had already walked the four corners of this intersection 12 times and now he was considering scaling back the project. He said, “This is what happens when you don’t have a girlfriend. She might have talked me out of this, or at least talked me into a more scaled back performance.” I told him I thought it was a fantastic concept but it is certainly very dangerous. He said to me, “I need a mask, I didn’t consider all the fumes.” I explained that a medical mask really wouldn’t cut back on the fumes. Then again, they wear masks in Japan. Maybe I was wrong. Does anyone have a mask to lend Brian? He had to make a call. He walked over to the intersection and started talking on his iPhone. Then without another word he started to walk the intersection again. I began to sketch.
There was a near collision between 2 cars at one point and there was the periodic honking of annoyed drivers in a rush to get somewhere. Brian noticed several cars that ran the red lights. One recreational vehicle took a sharp turn onto Colonial and a huge forearm sized chunk of metal flew off of it onto the street. As he crossed the street on foot Brian paused at the center median thinking he would remove the metal object from the road. Before he could however, a truck ran the object over sending it flying into the air as so much shrapnel. Another car ran it over and it flew to the far side of the road with a loud clang. A frail emaciated woman came strolling across the road ignoring the signals and I was sure she would get hit but she survived.
I began this sketch by drawing Brian on his iPhone and later I decided to draw him out crossing the intersection as well. Some driver on the far side of the road started yelling at me, “Hey!! Hey!” I looked at him and waited for him to yell something intelligent, but no intelligent comment was forthcoming. I lost interest and continued to sketch. When I finished, Brian told me he had crossed the intersections four corners 30 times. He is twittering his experiences and shooting photos on his iPhone. This is without a doubt the most dangerous project Brian has ever attempted. He needs some intervention. Someone please go out there and talk him out of this performance. It is far too dangerous.
P.S. A short video was made about the project.
Brian Feldman – Under the Covers
At the first Thursday of this month Brian Feldman held a cabaret by request called “Under the Covers” at the Orlando Museum of Art. Back on the first Thursday in May, Jeremy Seghers performed, an act by the same name, singing cover songs requested by the audience for a Fringe Festival Preview. Brian used Jeremy’s performance as inspiration to literally go under the covers.
Accompanying Brian was Isaac Schankler on a Kurzweil SP-76. The performance was developed and first presented in July of 2009 at the Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna Beach Florida. When the audience entered the theater, they could faintly make out the form of Brian lying under the covers on a mattress on stage. Isaac introduced the act and sat at the piano. Brian explained that he didn’t actually sleep on a mattress himself, but instead slept on the floor of a friend’s house. He 
was recently separated from his girlfriend, Jessica, and many of the songs in his first set seemed directed to her. An unexpected development towards the end of the first set was that Jeremy Seghers got on stage and joined Brian to sing a duet. At first, Jeremy just sat on the bed next to Brian’s form hidden by the covers. Then, Jeremy lifted the covers and joined Brian underneath, singing “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues”. This song was a show stopper.
I returned to see his second performance which featured a Queen song requested by Katie Windish from Frames Forever titled “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Don’t ask why she needed to hear that song at this time in her life. After the last song, Brian had to explain that the performance was over since he was still on stage, though under the covers. I am sure some people like myself lingered to see the performance artist in person. But Brian consulted with stage hands and shouted out, “No really, the show is over! Get out of here, people!” When everyone had left, he sprinted into the wings.
Brian Feldman eats everything on the Loving Hut menu
At the Fringe Festival, Brian Feldman offered himself up as an award to the Loving Hut which had won an award as the favorite Fringe food vendor. Brian staged a performance piece in which he would attempt to eat everything off the Loving Huts all vegan menu. Brian’s original plan was to eat full servings off the menus 44 or so listed dishes. He gave himself 10 hours to accomplished this Herculean feat.
When I arrived I saw this figure slumped over on the far side of the restaurant. From a distance he looked like one of the employees and I thought to myself this doesn’t leave a very good impression for the employees to be asleep in the restaurant. On closer inspection I realized it was Brian who was slumped over. He had collapsed after eating 14 menu items. Since I was meeting Terry for a movie afterward, I knew that I only had an hour to catch the proceedings, so I got right to work. As it turned out Jessica Earley was in the restaurant as well and she was being interviewed by a video crew. She later sat down across from me and introduced me to her friends. More of her friends arrived as I sketched. The staff of the Loving Hut became very curious about my sketch and at one point I lost precious sketching time as people flipped through my sketchbook pages.
A facebook message from Jessica the next day confirmed a suspicion I have always had about events I sketch. I often get the feeling that the second I leave, suddenly the party explodes with activity and people let loose with joyous abandon.
Jessica said “Soon after you left Loving Hut, that place got down right ridiculous…It was like slap happy city. The staff just started getting super kooky and bringing Brian out tiny mini little versions of the meals and every single time anyone walked into the entrance of the place the entire restaurant clapped and cheered and welcomed them.
All tables were talking to one another.. complete strangers hanging over chairs to laugh and make absurd conversation. There were two little kids there who were just coming out with the most funny comments ever about Brian’s eating performance.
Then the staff started to get COZY.. They were coming over and putting their arms around every one’s shoulders and saying things about being happy..
and I ended up getting a massage from one of the ladies!
It was so so silly and funny. Wow.”
Since Brian did not manage to eat all the items on the menu Saturday, he returned Sunday for a second chance to complete the task.
Hot Dog Eating Contest
In Coney Island, Nathan’s hosts a 10 minute hot dog eating contest and this year Joey Chestnut won by eating 68 wieners. The Orlando take on this contest is a bit different in that the contestants have 10 hours in which to eat the hot dogs. When I arrived at Dandelion Communitea Cafe, Brian Feldman had eaten only 3 hot dogs and he only took a few bites from another politely using a knife and fork. If anyone asked who was winning, he would respond with, “How do you define a winner?” They were not competing it seems based on simple numbers but it was a more refined competition based on savoring the moment. Caroline Johnson, who is from Spain, was reading excerpts from her novel while Brian and Zac Alfson slowly tasted their vegan hot dogs. Caroline was also a contestant since she had a small mountain of uneaten hot dogs in front of her, but she never tried a hot dog while I was sketching. Eight hours into the competition, the contestants had honestly lost count of the number of hot dogs eaten. The hot dogs were wrapped in a pita like bun called a Snuggles which are made locally in Orlando by Toufayan Bakeries. Pittsburgh artist Dawn Weleski, acted as the MC. She would periodically interview members of the audience. She would ask the audience member to sit in the blue chair to the left of the staging area and then ask them to wear an Uncle Sam hat and white beard. Brian’s mom and sister showed up late in the competition to watch the relaxed proceedings. Another announcer named Gordon Winiemko took the mic and decided to MC shirtless. He threw the sweaty shirt right at me and I caught it and then didn’t know what to do with it. Putting it on the table would be unsanitary yet dropping it on the floor would be rude. I decided to drop it on the table, and the two girls eating salad right next to me didn’t seem to mind.
From here Terry and I headed downtown for the Lake Eola Fireworks display. There, during the fireworks show one mortar must have fallen over because it fired off not into the air, but straight across the lake at the audience. It blew up just yards from the shore sending hot embers showering over the crowd. I do not think anyone was hurt.
Brian Feldman Reads The Orlando Weekly in its Entirety
I arrived at Frames Forever & Art Gallery 941 Orange Avenue Winter Park, to find a small crowd seated in front of a glass storefront window watching as Brian Feldman read the Orlando Weekly in its entirety. He not only read the body copy but also the ads, captions and he would even describe any pictures and art. Three of the people were from the Orlando Weekly Newspaper and they sat and watched for over an hour. Brian spoke into a microphone and the sound mixer Tommy Wingo (in the yellow shirt) supervised as Brian’s voice was amplified crisply on two speakers outside.
The performance commemorates WMFE’s canceling of their newspaper-reading service for the blind on its station due to funding issues.
The store window was masterfully decorated with the current issue of the Orlando Weekly taped up behind Brian and even strewn about on the floor. A classy Greek column was on hand where Brian perched a cup of water for his parched voice. One audience member tapped furiously on his laptop computer and others occasionally texted friends on iPhones. Some people had the newspaper and read along tracking Brian’s progress. The owner of Frames Forever & Art Gallery, Katie Windish, was tweeting about the event to about a thousand people on Brian’s behalf. Katie was also the one who tailored the classy vest Brian was wearing which was also made of newspaper. She confessed that the vest was made from another local rag called the Orlando Sentinel.
The drive home from this event was quite eventful, While driving through Parramore, I was pulled over by a patrol car. “Can I see your License and Registration”, blinking lights, and a flood light in my rear view mirror, the whole deal. After waiting 15 minutes while he looked up my long criminal record he came back and informed me my left brake light was out. He asked if I knew about that, and I did, but I said “no officer”. He said he could give me a $96 ticket for that but he would let me go with a warning this time…
The End of Analog
We interrupt today’s blog post to bring an important announcement: Analog TV is ending TODAY. At 3 AM in the morning I sat with Brian Feldman waiting for the end of Analog TV as we know it. There are an estimated 20 million TVs that use rabbit ears to pick up analog TV via the airwaves. Brian joked that the best place to watch this conversion to digital would be in the retirement villages of South Florida. I can imagine the panic caused as hundreds of TVs flicker to static, people are screaming in the streets and TVs being thrown out windows. The Digital conversion is not happening all at once but each station is switching over sometime today. You have been warned. Every station seemed to have a banner scrolling warning viewers about the conversion.
Brian sat eating some tomato soup straight out of the can and texting or tweeting on his iPhone. A police car drove by and a block later turned around to pass by a second time. He stopped rolled down the window and stared. I tensed up waiting for what might happen next. He just watched the TVs for a few minutes and then rolled up beside me to see what I was up to and then drove off without saying a word.
If you wish to watch in horror as TV signals are lost go to Frames Forever and Art Gallery 941 Orange Avenue in Winter Park 407 622-6358. The installation remains in place till midnight tonight.