My licence was more than 15 years old. The plastic laminate had curled up at the corners giving it a frayed look. In the photo I still had a full head of hair. Each year the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV), sent me a sticker to put on the back of the card. That thick layer of stickers had slid like a tectonic plate in the Florida humidity. At airports the Homeland Security guards would have to call over a subordinate, they had never seen anything like it. A parking guard at Universal literally refused to let me park. Even a bouncer at a bar would raise an eyebrow. Well, I needed a new card which meant I would have to make the dreaded trip to no man’s land, the DMV.
The letter said I’d need a birth certificate or passport. I rummaged for my passport and bought it with me. I went to the downtown office. The first thing you do is pick a number from a dispenser. I was number F91. What does the F stand for? I’m f*cked. Several hours later, I was finishing up my sketch and they had called 90. I packed away my sketchbook and got our my passport and old license.
Finally, my number was called. The woman behind the counter let out a gasp when I handed over my old license. She had never seen anything like it. She asked for proof that I had been born and I gave her the passport. Then she said she needed a proof of residence, a 1099, WD40, no wait that is a household oil… Well whatever it was, I didn’t have it. I would have to come back. Noooooo!!!!
Later that week I found the needed forms. I considered bringing the whole filing cabinet just in case. Two good old boys in the back of the waiting area were talking about pick up trucks and fathers who were in jail. God there are a lot of custom license plates. After my second eternity of waiting I finally did get a new license. Since then not a single person has asked to see the darn thing. I’m considering pushing the pedal to the floor through some speed traps so I can hand it over to an officer. Hell must be a DMV waiting area.
Weekend Top Six Picks
Saturday June 28th 2013
Noon – 3pm FREE The Imprint show at The Gallery at Avalon Island Artist talks. The Gallery at Avalon Island (39 S. Magnolia Avenue, Orlando, Florida 32801). This is the second series of talks by the artists for the Imprint show. Starting at noon we have five of the nine artists discussing their art, Emilie Finney, Martha Lent, Trish Bambace (aka Patricia Lois Nuss), Britty Metty (aka Brittany Metz) and Lesley Silvia will be talking about their process.
9:45pm – 11:45pm FREE Gene Snowden and The JC Jumpers with Special Guests!! The Peacock Room (1321 North Mills Avenue, Orlando, Florida). Its time to put on your jookin shoes! Come out and dance like its 1949.. A time when 4 out of 5 doctors preferred Marlboros and Booze was a food group. When the folks rocked and huckle bucked to Blues that was shakin, jumpin, wailin, shuckin, jivin, swingin,gruntin and all the other “ins” we can muster. Your presence is wanted for another throw back throw down , in this, the second edition of the Jumpers Boom diddy Boom at The Peacock room! your dollars and time are precious so with a few guests in the mix maybe we can get it right this time baby. So make sure you put on your best drinking outfit and drop by for one and a we’ll provide the rug… Feel free to cut it the hell up! woooo!
7pm – Midnight If you choose art and dance: $40 in advance $50 Day of Event “Hammers & Lambs” From The Minds Of Patrick Fatica and Blue Star.With
ticket in hand, the night will begin at Lake Ivanhoe’s newest
establishment The Hammered Lamb. Buffet style dinner and drinks will be
served while previewing Fatica’s newest creations. Fatica took the bar’s
name and used it as the influence for this newest series. He said, “The
name ‘Hammers and Lambs’ created an instant mythology. This is the
closest thing I’ve come to a concept album.”
After dinner, be
whisked away by O-Cart to Lake Ivanhoe’s newest performing arts space –
The Venue. Blue has used Fatica’s work and created her newest Award
Winning VarieTEASE show around it. The After Party and art show follows
with both Blue and Fatica in attendance.
After party 10pm -midnight FREE at Hammered Lamb (1235 N. Orange Ave. Orlando FL).
Sunday June 29th 2013
3pm – 7pm $5 Red Bull BC One Returns to Find Best Individual B-Boy on the Planet. Full Sail Live (141 University Park DR, Winter Park, FL). WHAT:Top Florida b-boys will compete in the Red Bull BC One Cypher Orlando hosted by MC Supernatural at Full Sail Live, the university’s state-of-the-art performance venue located on the campus of Full Sail University.
Since its inception in 2004, Red Bull BC One has become the leading competition in the world of b-boying, consistently attracting the best individual breakers in the world. Originally designed as an invitation-only event, the series has now opened to give any b-boy the chance to compete through a multi layered global qualification phase.
The Red Bull BC One Cypher Orlando is one of 50 local qualification events that are being hosted in the U.S. and around the globe in countries such as Algeria, Bolivia, Egypt, Italy, Mexico, the Netherlands, Russia and Taiwan. The winner of the Orlando cypher will move on to compete against the best b-boys in the U.S. during the Red Bull BC One National Qualifier held Aug. 17 in Houston, Texas. The dancer who earns the national championship title in Houston will step onto the world stage to compete against the best of the best at the Red Bull BC One World Finals, hosted in South Korea.
Follow their journey and learn more at www.redbullbcone.com
WHO: Sixteen b-boys from Florida
6pm – 8pm FREE SHUT YOUR FACE! Poetry Slam by Curtis Meyer! La Casa De La Paellas (10414 E Colonial Dr Orl FL 32817).
The only current ongoing slam in Orlando officially certified by Poetry Slam Incorporated, IE. Send a team to Nats as well as poets to The Individual World Poetry Slam & Women of The World Poetry Slam! $50 to the winner! If you’ve never seen or been in a slam before, it’s definitely worth checking out!
INFO: curtisxmeyer@hotmail.com
www.casadelaspaellas.com
9pm – 11pm FREE: “Comedy Open Mic” Austin’s Coffee (929 W Fairbanks Ave Winter Park, FL 32789). Free comedy show! Come out & laugh, or give it a try yourself.